Nancy J. Bickford

Recently, in Corpus Christi, Texas two grandmothers were awarded custody of their one-year-old granddaughter, Gabby. The child’s mother, Victoria Valdez, was only 16-years-old when she tragically died from severe head injuries caused by a car accident on New Year’s Day. The child’s 18-year-old father, Gabriel Padron, was driving the car when the accident occurred and is suspected of driving under the influence of alcohol. Although he admits to drinking prior to the crash, he denies being drunk while driving his vehicle. No arrest has been made and charges have yet to be filed; however, he has been accused of intoxication manslaughter. Toxicology results are still pending.During the custody case, Gabby’s aunt testified that Padron was a dangerous domestic violence perpetrator and was unsafe for Gabby to be around. Valdez’s sister further testified that the victim refused to leave Padron out of fear. During the trial, witnesses testified about both grandparents’ role in Gabby’s life prior to the accident and what accommodations Gabby would have in their custody. These witnesses described the baby’s room, clothes, crib, and toys in each home. As part of a temporary custody agreement, the paternal and maternal grandmothers will share custody and Gabby will continue to reside with her paternal grandmother who cared for her immediately following the accident. Gabby’s father was only given weekend visitation.

In San Diego, generally, following the death of a custodial parent, the surviving parent is entitled to sole legal custody. However, other relatives such as aunts, uncles, or grandparents may fight to obtain custody of the child. These relatives may file a guardianship or dependency action, or in the case of grandparents, a motion for grandparent visitation. If the relatives are successful in showing it is not in the child’s best interest to remain with the surviving parent, they may be awarded custody. In the Texas case, family members testified about the father’s violent behavior and suspected drunk driving and eventually were granted temporary custody of the minor child.

Under California Family Code section 3104, a grandparent of a minor child may petition the court for visitation rights. The court may grant reasonable visitation if the court does the following: (1) finds that a grandparent-grandchild relationship existed prior to the action and that it is in the best interest of the child to visit with the grandparent, and (2) carefully balances the parent’s right to exercise his or her authority and deny visitation against the interest of the child in having visitation with the grandparent. It is important to note that this type of petition may not be filed while the grandchild’s parents are married unless one or more of the following exceptions apply:

Although most people can gamble on a recreational basis, millions suffer negative consequences in their lives from problem gambling. According to the National Council on Problem Gambling about two to three percent of adults experience gambling-related problems each year. These problem gamblers have an uncontrollable urge to gamble and cannot stop gambling despite the negative consequences that result from their gambling. These negative consequences are frequently financial problems that impact the gamblers personal life, family relations, educational endeavors and/or employment.

Sometimes the gambling and problems stemming from the gambling becomes so bad that the non-gambling spouse files for divorce. When this occurs, the non-gambling spouse usually reports that the gambling spouse gambled away a significant amount of community property assets and that there are outstanding gambling debts. However, the non-gambling spouse may not be liable for the outstanding gambling debts.

Generally, all assets and debts incurred during marriage are considered community property. Family Code §2625 makes an exception to the general rule stating that, “All separate debts, including those debts incurred by a spouse during marriage and before the date of separation that were not incurred for the benefit of the community, shall be confirmed without offset to the spouse who incurred the debt.”

This Family Code section provides the court with the ability to assign gambling debts to the gambling spouse. This is one of the few insteances where a court has the discretion to make an equitable division based on fault rather than an equal division of debt.

In the case In re Marriage of Cairo, Wife was able to prove that debt incurred during marriage on credit cards in Husband’s name was for Husband’s gambling. The Trial Court characterized the credit cards in Wife’s name as a community property obligation and the credit cards in Husband’s as his separate property obligation. The Court of Appeal affirmed relying on the predecessor to Family Code §2625, which also stated that debts not incurred for the benefit of the community can be assigned without offset to the spouse who incurred the debt.

On the other hand, if the gambling spouse wins big when gambling with community property assets, then those gambling proceeds could be considered community property assets and equally divided between the parties.

In the case In re Marriage of Shelton, after separation Husband gambled $10,000 of community property monies at a casino in Nevada, won $22,000 and bought Ferrari for $32,000. Husband claimed that $22,000 of the value of the car was his separate property. The Trial Court disagreed and characterized as the car as community property. The Court of Appeal affirmed holding that the character of the gambling proceeds follow the character of their source. In this case the source of the monies used to gamble were community property, therefore, the gambling winnings were also community property. The Court of Appeal rejected Husband’s argument that the winnings were his separate property post-separation earnings because gambling is primarily a game of chance where the skill component is small.

In the case In re Marriage of Wall, Wife used her post-separation earnings (or support payments) to buy an Irish Sweepstakes ticket and won $120,000. Although Husband claimed the winnings were community property, the Trial Court disagreed and awarded the winnings to Wife as her separate property. The Court of Appeal affirmed. Unlike the Shelton case, in this case the source of the monies used to buy the Sweepstakes ticket was Wife’s separate property. Therefore, the Sweepstakes winnings were also her separate property.
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It is not surprising that many California couples decide to adopt pets. But what happens to those pets when the couple decides to seek a divorce? Across the country custody battles over family pets are increasing. Although pets are not technically the couple’s children, they can become a core part of the family that neither spouse is willing to part with. If the couple does have children, the judge is likely to order the pet to stay with the child.One reason these pet custody cases are on the rise is the dissolution of same-sex marriages or domestic partnerships. These legal unions are relatively new and the couples tend to adopt pets in lieu of or in addition to children. Unlike children, pets are a form of property in every state. In the past, pets have been divided up along with the rest of the marital property without distinction. The family courts are changing and beginning to recognize that pets are more like children than furniture. The shift may be resulting from a widespread recognition of pets as part of the family rather than mere possessions. Litigants are now passionate and unashamed to fight for custody of a pet.

When a couple divorces, the best interest of the child guides a judge’s decisions on child custody and visitation. For pets, this is not the case. Since pets are a form of property, the laws regarding pets are generally aimed at benefitting the owner. The court will consider the same factors when deciding who gets custody of the pet as they would in deciding who gets custody of a television set. The court takes into consideration factors such as: whether either spouse owned the property prior to marriage or post separation, how much the property is worth, and any agreement the couple reached about who gets the property.

As California family law stands today, there is no pet visitation provision. The courts simply have the authority to award custody of the pet to one party or the other. If splitting couples wish to split time with their pets they must work out a visitation schedule together. These schedules can be negotiated with the help of lawyers and mediators. Some can be rather elaborate and include long-distance traveling for the pet, a holiday schedule, daycare expense sharing, grooming responsibilities, training, treats, food, medical care and other related decisions. Like parents who share legal custody of a child, some couples agree to share a form of legal custody of a pet. This means that both parties will have the right to make decisions regarding the health, safety, and welfare of the pet including end of life decisions.Another area of family law that has begun to recognize pets as family members is domestic violence. In the past, domestic violence restraining orders could not be issued to protect pets. More recently, this has become a common practice. Under California Family Code section 6320(b), “on a showing of good cause, the court may include in a protective order a grant to the petitioner of the exclusive care, possession, or control of any animal owned…the court may order the respondent to stay away from the animal and forbid the respondent from taking, transferring, encumbering, concealing, molesting, attacking…the animal.” Local community organizations have also reached out to victims of domestic violence and their pets. For example, Rancho Coastal Humane Society offers shelter for the pets of these victims while they escape their abusers and seek shelter themselves. Because abusers tend to threaten harm to the animal as a tool to control their victim, these programs facilitate a victim’s decision to escape and take part of the abuser’s power away.

After a long and embarrassingly public divorce, Beverly Hills Housewife Camille and Broadway star Kelsey Grammer reportedly end their custody battle. The couple shares two children: Jude, 7 years old, and Mason, 10 years old. It seems that Camille will have physical custody of the children since their primary residence will be with her. Kelsey will reportedly have “meaningful contact” with the children. After a 13-year marriage it appears both stars have moved on. Kelsey remarried within two weeks of finalizing his divorce. He and his new wife are expecting twins. According to Camille’s statements on her show the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” , she is also happily in a relationship with lawyer Dimitri Charalambopoulos.

Camille filed for divorce on July 1, 2010 after learning of Kelsey’s affair with a stewardess, Kayte Walsh. Kelsey was able to marry his new wife Kayte Walsh before settling all aspects of his divorce with Camille through the bifurcation process. In order to accomplish this, Kelsey asked the judge to grant a divorce decree while suspending the division of the large and complex marital estate. The estate is estimated to be worth $120 million dollars and because the couple did not have a prenuptial agreement, Camille demanded $50 million.

We have blogged several times about the potential problems that Facebook and other social media sites can have on a divorce. The same potential for problems also applies to the text messages you send. Although it is sometimes difficult to get text messages into evidence (meaning properly in front of a judge), once the text message is in evidence, it could change the outcome of your case!Unlike Facebook and other social media posts, text messages cannot be deleted or recalled. Any text that you send to your spouse, or even to a third party, can end up being used against you in a divorce. With phones now having up to 64 gigabytes of storage, or more, texts from many years ago could end up being presented as evidence to the judge in your divorce case.

• If you threaten to harm your spouse in a text, that may be the basis for a restraining order, or even criminal prosecution.

• If you call your spouse names in texts, the judge could end up with an unfavorable opinion of you.

• If you say one thing in your declaration (such as, “I do not use drugs”) and text something contrary to your spouse or a third party (such as, “I can’t believe how stoned I was at the party”), you will ruin your credibility with the judge.

In a recent story on NPR, Ken Altshuler, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, provided the following tips for keeping your texts out of court, upon which I elaborate:

• Do not text your spouse anything that you would not want a judge to see. This also applies to Facebook and other social media posts, messages or comments, emails, and even voice mail messages. It is always best to assume that any text, anything you write or any voice message you leave for your spouse will end up in front of your judge. Some examples of what not to post, blog or text about can be found here.

• If your spouse or former spouse sends you an inappropriate text, do not respond in kind because a judge will see that. The judge usually does not care who started an inappropriate exchange because the exchange is usually just a small part of the bigger picture. In one of my cases after reviewing hateful emails back and forth between the parties, the judge (slightly misquoting Mercutio’s famous line from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Julie), said “A pox on both your houses.” When the other party blurted out, “She started it!” the judge replied, “Sir, two wrongs do not make a right – and your emails back to here were totally inappropriate, no matter who started it.”

• Do not send messages that set your spouse up for an inappropriate or angry response. On the other hand, some Judges will look into who started it. You do not want your judge to find that you were the party that started it, or someone who is baiting the other side. This could ruin your credibility with the judge for the rest of your case.

• If you are worked up and want to send your spouse a message, take time to calm down before putting anything in writing. Again, if it is in writing, you must assume that your judge will eventually read it. If you are unsure about a written response to your spouse, send it to your attorney for review before sending it to your spouse.

Always remember, do not text anything to anyone that you would want the family law judge in your case to see or read.
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How do I collect unpaid or back child support in San Diego?

Times are tough already between the economy and normal monthly expenses stacking up. The last thing a custodial parent needs is to worry about obtaining and collecting child support. Attorneys in the San Diego area can help you obtain and collect unpaid or back child support that is owed to you.

Why do I need a Child Support Order?

If you are the primary custodial parent, you have a right to child support to help with your monthly expenses. The non-custodial parent is just as responsible for providing for the child(ren) as you are. Having an oral agreement for child support with the non-custodial parent is not good enough. You need to obtain an order from the court for the child support agreement to be enforceable. Without a court order the non-custodial parent has no legal obligation to pay child support to you even if you have agreed to terms for child support payments. If the co-parent stops paying the amount of child support you informally agreed to, then you will have little recourse if he or she stops making payments and you will not be able to collect arrears for the months they did not pay or only partially paid.

How do I file for child support?

Obtaining a court order is easier than it sounds and the state’s enforcement tools (discussed below) often provide incentive for the non-custodial parent to pay child support.

If you were not married to the child’s parent at the time the child was conceived, you will have to first file a Petition to Establish a Parental Relationship (“Petition”) to establish paternity. You will need to provide your attorney, and the court, whatever information you have about the other parent’s whereabouts and your relationship with that person. The Petition also allows the court to make child support orders once paternity is established.

If you were married when the child was born, paternity is presumed unless the other parent challenges paternity. However, you will have to file an Order to Show Cause to obtain child support. The court will determine a guideline amount based on both parent’s income, timeshare with the children, and various other factors.
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On Tuesday, February 7, 2012, the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled Proposition 8 unconstitutional. The voter-passed initiative banned gay marriage in the State of California. As a result, California’s state constitution was amended to read; “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” Activists argued that, by allowing gay marriage, California schools would be infiltrated with inappropriate material that undermined heterosexual marriage. Immediately, lawsuits were filed challenging the ban. There are many supporters on both sides of this issue and the Ninth Circuit’s ruling is likely to be appealed to the United States Supreme Court. Anticipating this move, the Ninth Circuit stayed it’s ruling. However, counties across the state are beginning to prepare for the anticipated influx of same-sex marriages that will most definitely ensue once the stay is lifted.Some of Proposition 8 supporters and opposition can agree that once the voters speak, their decisions should be honored. In the Federal District Court of the Northern District of California, Judge Vaughn R. Walker found that Proposition 8 violated the equal-protection rights of the same-sex couple who filed the lawsuit. Judge Walker and the Ninth Circuit agree that banning same-sex marriage is a violation of the 14th Amendment of the United States Constitution because it discriminates against a group of people. The voters of California have rejected same-sex marriage twice and twice they have been challenged in the courts.

Currently, a total of six states grant same-sex marriage licenses including: Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York and Vermont. The government of Washington D.C. also grants same-sex marriage licenses. In addition, Maryland recognizes same-sex marriages performed in other states, however it does not grant same-sex marriage licenses. On Tuesday February 8, 2012 the State of Washington Legislature passed a bill permitting gay marriage. That bill was signed into law on February 13, 12.

California voters were not alone when they rejected gay marriage. State after state has followed suit. When put to a popular vote, gay marriage is frequently vetoed. In fact, in 31 of the 31 states where gay marriage was put to a vote, the voters refused to pass the referendum. Interestingly, a Field Poll taken in 2008 concluded the majority of Californians approved of legal same-sex marriage. In 2010, a CNN poll reached similar results. The poll found that, on a national scale, the majority of Americans approved of legal same-sex marriage. In 2011, the Pew Research Center reached the same conclusion finding 46% of Americans in favor of same-sex marriage and 44% opposed. Considering all of these statistics, why do voters reject same-sex marriage in the polls? Whatever the reason, a conclusion to this tumultuous battle is not on the horizon anytime soon.Please contact us if you are considering a divorce from your spouse, a legal separation, or have questions regarding custody. San Diego Family Law Attorney Nancy J. Bickford is the only board-certified divorce lawyer in San Diego who also holds an MBA and a CPA. Don’t settle for less when determining your rights. Call 858-793-8884 in Del Mar, Carmel Valley, North County or San Diego.

News just broke that reality star, Kim Kardashian, has her legal team working very hard to ensure her divorce from basketball player, Kris Humphries, is handled in a private mediation; no cameras allowed! It’s Kim’s hope that by taking their divorce out of the spotlight, the proceedings won’t take longer than the actual marriage itself. A source close to the Kardashian family adds:

“A public trial is the last thing that Kim wants, and she has instructed her lawyer to formally petition the court so that the divorce can be heard by a mediator, which is routinely done in California, since it’s a no-fault state. Kim doesn’t want a long drawn out trial. She wants the mediation to be private, confidential, and legally binding. She and Kris have no assets together and kept separate bank accounts, so this is a fairly routine divorce proceeding. Kim just wants this over and done with.”

Mediation is an alternative to going to court. It is a confidential process by which the parties get to try and settle the case with a third party neutral (mediator). It allows the parties a chance to communicate and have the opportunity to be heard. The greatest benefit to mediation is that you and your spouse get to come up with the terms of the agreement rather than the Judge deciding for you. There is a risk with putting fate in the courts, because you and your spouse know better than anyone, what is best for you and your family. It provides a win-win for the parties because you each have a role in making the agreement. On the other hand, when you go to court, one or often both parties are dissatisfied with the Judge’s decision. Mediation will save time and money by not going through the court process, which can take months or even years for all the aspects of the divorce to become final and can be extremely expensive.

In California, it is required if you have children to attend mediation when getting a divorce to determine custody. Family Court Services interviews you and your spouse regarding the health, safety, and well being of the children involved. The mediator will determine what is in the best interest of the child(s) and propose a custody arrangement to the Judge. It can be as specific as you want including who the child(s) will be with for birthdays and holidays. Before going in front of a judge for your divorce, you may want to consider trying to work something out with your spouse instead by doing what’s known as a divorce mediation as well.

San Diego County is known throughout the state of California for being less litigious, and more settlement-oriented, than other counties. There are attorneys who have specialized training in mediation and are settling the vast majority of their cases. Issues included in divorce mediation include but are not limited to: Distribution of property, child custody, child support, spousal support, retirement benefits and taxes. Some issues may be more difficult than others to discuss, but it is the mediator’s job to keep the lines of communication open, brainstorm ideas with you and provide a safe environment for each of you to speak in an amicable way. Lack of communication or arguing may have been one of the reasons for your divorce; mediation has the ability to help you communicate with each other again, if only for the sake of your children.
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Many San Diego residents own businesses that continue to operate and generate income throughout the owner’s divorce. It is well established in California, absent an agreement otherwise, that a spouse is entitled to an interest in community property assets. Community property generally consists of all assets acquired during the marriage. We have previously blogged about the date of separation and its importance in the division of property in a dissolution proceeding. Business owners are confronted with a unique problem – is their business community property? What about the increase in value between the date of separation and trial?As a general rule, for the purpose of division of the community estate upon dissolution of marriage, the court shall value the assets and liabilities as near as practicable to the date of trial. Any income or assets acquired by a party between separation and divorce are separate property. However, the value of a particular asset is not determined until the date of trial. For example, consider this hypothetical. Husband and Wife decide to separate with intent to end the marriage accompanied by objective acts to demonstrate that intent. At the time of separation, the couple owns a house that is worth $150,000. Husband decides to move into a nearby apartment and Wife takes over all mortgage payments. Because they have a daughter still in high school, the couple decides not to file for divorce immediately. Two years later, because of market fluctuations, the house is worth $200,000. Although Husband moved out of the house and Wife made each mortgage payment following separation, they are both entitled to share in the increase in profit. The court may make orders to account for the mortgage payments made by Wife, but Husband will generally share in the increased value. Real property values can fluctuate dramatically between the date of separation and trial because parties may separate months or years before their case is finalized. If the asset is a typical community property asset such as a family home the value is determined as close as possible to the date of trial.

There is an exception to this general rule. Under California Family Code section 2552(b), “Upon 30 days’ notice by the moving party to the other party, the court for good cause shown may value all or any portion of the assets and liabilities at a date after separation and before trial to accomplish an equal division of the community estate of the parties in an equitable manner.” Any party may petition the court to value an asset at the date of separation rather than closer to trial by showing that this alternate valuation is fair. A date of separation valuation of property is appropriate when the hard work and actions of one spouse alone and after separation, greatly increases the “community” estate, which then must be divided with the other spouse. However, if the asset increases in value from non-personal factors such as market fluctuations or inflation, it is fair that both spouses share in that increased value.

When a spouse operates a community property business after separation, there is a sense of unfairness when applying the general rule that the business must be valued as of the date of trial. The law recognizes that an increase in value of these businesses is primarily a reflection of the contribution of the owner’s services. This exception applies especially to professional businesses such as law practices, medical practices, or contracting businesses. If the skill and reputation of the owner accounts for an increase in the assets value, the court may value the asset at the time of separation and divide the property accordingly.

Often, the line between being married and being separated is blurred. Couples considering divorce have the option to experiment with a trial separation in order to give the spouses time to consider if divorce is their best option. Other couples decide to file for divorce and later reconcile. Sometimes those couples continue with the marriage and other times they resume divorce proceedings. The decision to end a marriage can be difficult and messy, however the parties’ actions between the time of separation and a dissolution judgment can impact their case significantly.One reason why date of separation is so crucial is that it is used as the dividing line between the beginning and the end of the marriage. Surprisingly, for the purposes of property division, the date of divorce is not used as the date of the end of the marriage. California is a community property state. This means, for the most part, any contributions by either spouse after the date of marriage belongs jointly to both spouses. Any income of either spouse belongs jointly to both spouses. Further, any property or assets purchased with that income belongs jointly to both spouses. Few assets such as inheritances or property acquired before marriage are separate property.

To complete the divorce process, depending on the circumstances, can take anywhere between a few months to over a year. Presumably, both spouses will continue working during this time and purchasing assets. Do these assets and income belong to the respective spouses as separate property or to the spouses jointly as community property? How will these assets be divided upon divorce? Under California Family Code section 771, the earnings and accumulations of a spouse, while living separate and apart from the other spouse, are separate property of the spouse. Therefore, anything acquired by either party between the date of separation and the divorce is separate property. The next problem is – when did the couple “separate”?

Date of separation is often a hotly contested issue because it can determine how a number of significant items are distributed. For instance, it can determine whether a marriage is long-term or short-term, if one spouse is entitled to the lottery winnings of the other, and whether one spouse is entitled to any number of valuable assets acquired by the other spouse during the dissolution process. It would seem that deciding when the parties separated is an easy task that both parties could easily agree on. However, in a potential divorce situation, the behaviors of the parties can be confusing and separating spouses often send mixed signals to each other. When determining the parties’ date of separation, the court looks to their private conduct rather than how they behave publically. This comes from an understanding that many couples keep up public appearances of a marriage for many different reasons such as for the benefit of any children they have. The ultimate question to be decided in determining the date of separation is whether either or both parties has the subjective intent to end the marriage and furthers that intent through objective conduct. This is a factual question and the court looks at various steps taken by the spouses to demonstrate the final breakdown of the marriage.

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