Nancy J. Bickford

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When people think of “divorce”, they don’t often associate it with the term “amicable”, which means to be “characterized by friendly good will” or “peaceable” (definition courtesy of Merriam-Webster). Thus, “amicable divorce” may seem like quite an oxymoron. However, it is often advantageous to everyone involved if the divorce can be achieved and in a somewhat amicable fashion.

There are several things that both parties can do to overcome the major pitfalls to an amicable divorce, three of which are discussed below. In doing so, both parties are more likely to avoid the high cost, painful feelings, and adversarial aspects that are part of a litigated divorce.Often times, divorcing spouses see the divorce process as a means for revenge and thus an instrument to hurt the other spouse. However, the problem with this approach is that it usually causes the other side to respond in the same manner, thus escalating everyone’s emotions involved. The “blame game” for instance tends to increase tension and prolong the divorce process. Although it is important to recognize that feeling exists, an amicable divorce is more likely achieved when both parties attempt to minimize the role that emotions play in a divorce. Divorce attorneys frequently must advise their clients with respect to this issue.A divorce is essentially about business. Thus, an amicable divorce is best achieved when both parties can openly discuss the terms of the “business”. Communication requires open disclosure regarding assets and liabilities. The more open the parties are with each other, the less likely the attorneys are to be required to seek information through the “discovery process“. The best divorce attorneys regularly work with their clients to facilitate communication between the parties.Efforts to minimize emotions and maximize communication both begin with the delivery of the divorce papers. In a proceeding for dissolution of marriage or legal separation, the moving party must, among other requirements, serve the responding party with a Summons and a Petition for Dissolution. Being served with these papers often incites a tremendous amount of fear, anger and confusion. Thus, it is advisable that the person filing for divorce consider discussing the divorce with his/her spouse prior to actually filing the documents. This will likely minimize the “initial blow” associated with being served with divorce documents.

Implementing the above strategies does not mean that you always have to give up on important issues. Rather, it means that you and your soon to be ex-spouse are willing to work things out in a fair and cooperative manner so that you both end up with an agreement that works for everyone. Despite efforts to achieve an amicable divorce, the divorce process can be quite complicated, especially in San Diego.
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For divorce attorneys in San Diego, one of the most hotly contested issues is typically spousal support. At the end of a divorce case, the parties must agree to a spousal support amount (even if that amount is zero) or have the judge rule on the issue. Spousal support tends to be a contested issue because the law in this area is very subjective and leaves the judge broad discretion to make a fair and just award. In comparison, child support is easier to reach an agreement on because the court is bound by guideline rules and therefore a judge’s ruling is much more predicable. Many parties opt to agree to an amount rather than battle it out and incur significant legal fees and costs.

When making a spousal support award at the end of a divorce case, the court must consider a laundry list of factors outlined in Family Code § 4320. These factors focus mostly on the relative income and assets of the parties. The judge will use information regarding the income and assets of the parties to determine each party’s ability to pay support and/or need for support. Another important consideration for this analysis is the marital standard of living. A court will not usually make an award of spousal support which would increase the standard of living of the supported spouse above the marital lifestyle. The marital standard of living is sometimes referred to a “glass ceiling” for spousal support.

In contrast, if one spouse has increased earnings post-separation, the children are entitled to share in those greater earnings. Therefore, child support will not be capped based on any standard of living. A problem presents, however, when the supported spouse receives significant child support which may increase his/her own standard of living beyond what he/she experienced during marriage. In a 2006 California case, the court held that child support is properly considered as income available to the supported spouse to satisfy the marital standard of living.

This seems to be a logical result because the supported spouse is not likely keeping all of the child support received in a separate account and only applying it towards the children’s expenses or the children’s “share” of household bills. Courts do not keep tabs on parents receiving child support to ensure every dollar is used for the sole benefit of the children. In fact, in previous cases the Court found use of child support funds specifically for the receiving parent’s own benefit as a proper use of child support. Although only one case is currently “on the books” regarding this issue, as the law stands, it is proper to ask a court to consider child support as income available to a supported spouse to meet and marital standard of living in a spousal support case.

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Family law is one of the most emotional and sensitive areas of law. Tensions can run high when child custody, visitation, support, and even domestic violence are involved in a divorce in California. The importance of what is at stake in a family law case can sometimes cause litigants to retaliate against their spouses outside of the family law courtroom. Often in family law, one spouse has greater access to financial resources than the other. In order to prevent bullying and harassment in family law when the parties are on unequal financial footing California enacted Family Code § 2030.

Family Code § 2030 states:

“In a proceeding for dissolution of marriage…and in any proceeding subsequent to the entry of a related judgment the Court shall ensure that each party has access to legal representation.”

The goal of Family Code § 2030 is to ensure both parties have equal litigating power in a family law case. This code section dis-incentivizes the party with access to greater financial resources from “burying” the other party with motions or discovery because they will likely be ordered to contribute to the other party’s legal fees based on a “need and ability” analysis. In some cases, three may be one party who has access to significant funds, is an attorney, or works in the legal profession. That party may file lawsuits against his or her spouse in other courts in an attempt to distract or financially drain the other party and avoid Family Code §2030. The question becomes, does the family court have any ability to provide the spouse relief from the unfair tactics employed in other civil courts?

Under Family Code § 2030, the Court has the ability to award attorney fees to one party for expenses incurred in any proceeding related to the prosecution or defense of a divorce case. This has been interpreted by California courts to include civil cases filed against one spouse for the purpose of creating a result in the divorce case. In one California case, Husband filed multiple lawsuits, unrelated to the parties’ divorce, against Wife in a civil court. Wife was forced to spend significant time and funds defending the suits and was unable to properly focus on the parties’ divorce. Wife asked the family court to order Husband to pay the attorney fees she incurred in the civil lawsuits. The family court determined that it had the authority to grant Wife’s request under Family Code § 2030 and ordered Husband to pay her attorney fees.
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Former NFL player and Super Bowl champ, Jeremy Shockey, and Daniela Cortazar enjoyed a brief eight months of nuptial bliss before Shockey filed for divorce in January 2013. TMZ now reports that Shockey “is playing dumb with his finances according to his soon-to-be ex-wife.” Cortazar claims that Shockey’s net worth is over $15 million but apparently Shockey is pretending to know nothing about his finances in his legal documents. Shockey is even refusing to provide information regarding his net worth. Cortazar is asking a judge to punish Shockey with fines or jail time. More importantly though, to get a fair share in the divorce settlement, Cortazar should take prudent measures to make sure that Shockey doesn’t have any hidden assets tucked away.

Hidden assets are those assets which are not readily visible typically because signs of ownership have been concealed or disguised by the other spouse. Hidden assets typically include liquid assets such as bank accounts, mutual funds, stock and bonds. These types of liquid assets can easily be transferred into another person or entity’s name. Sometimes, these assets are even transferred into accounts in banks offshore which prohibit being touched under the laws of the particular country.

Learn more about divorce and property divisionHidden assets are particularly important in divorce cases because when a court does not know about a particular asset, it cannot properly divide the asset or award it to one party or the other. Hiding assets is clearly illegal because both spouses lawfully have a claim to all marital property during a divorce proceeding. Therefore, being attentive to marital finances can help ensure that your divorce settlement is fair to you.

The first step in hunting down hidden assets during a divorce proceeding requires a diligent tracking and study of all financial records. Looking at old financial statements may help to identify suspicious transactions. For instance, an asset may initially be present in financial documents and then suddenly it has disappeared near the time of divorce or during divorce proceedings.

Other tips on finding hidden assets include the following:

  • Get a credit report on your spouse. Credit reports may contain information regarding financial accounts or credit that are unknown to you.
  • Look for payment of excess income tax and then a subsequent filing for the tax refund after the divorce.
  • Have items such as artwork, hobby equipment, antiques, original paintings, etc. appraised.
  • Be diligent about locating any cash kept as traveler’s checks. You can do this by tracing bank account deposits and withdrawals.
  • Look for any inconsistencies which may indicate delayed disbursements of bonuses or stock options.
  • Be aware of any income that isn’t reflected on either financial statements or tax returns.

Read more about property division and divorce in San Diego


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In San Diego Family Courts, Judges take the issue of breach of spousal fiduciary duty very seriously. Harsh punishments are available in family court for nondisclosure of assets, failure to provide truthful information regarding income and assets and other misconduct. In April 2013, the California Court of Appeal ruled in In re Marriage of Simmons, a case of first impression. In this case, Mr. Simmons failed to disclose a separate property savings account with a value of $245,850.24. As a result of Mr. Simmons’s breach of fiduciary duty, the trial court awarded Ms. Simmons the account in full. However, the appellate court reversed that award.


California Family Code § 721 imposes “a duty of the highest good faith and fair dealing” on spouses when dealing in transactions with each other. Family Code § 1100 clarifies that duty by stating that it “includes the obligation to make full disclosure to the other spouse of all material facts and information regarding the existence, characterization, and valuation of all assets in which the community has or may have an interest…” During a divorce case, both spouses are obligated to disclose all assets regardless of whether those assets are community property or separate property. The court may impose various sanctions for failure to disclose an asset. If a spouse discovers an undisclosed asset he or she may request 100% of the asset or an amount equal to 100% of the asset as a remedy.

Although the Family Code is clear regarding the availability of the “value of the asset remedy” if the asset is community property, Mr. Simmons disputed the availability of that remedy with regard to separate property assets. The appellate court agreed with Mr. Simmons and, for the first time, ruled that the “value of the asset remedy” is not available if a spouse has only failed to disclose separate property assets. However, despite the appellate court’s inclination to rule in favor of Mr. Simmons, it was still aggravated by his pattern of misconduct. Therefore, the appellate court remanded the case back to the trial court level directing the trial court to consider any additional sanctions it would like to impose against Mr. Simmons. Various other family codes, such as Family Code § 271, are available to the trial court as authority upon which to base an additional sanctions awards.

Under Family Code § 271, the court may impose monetary sanctions against a party for obstreperous conduct which impedes the policy of settlement in a divorce case. The court is not limited to an amount of sanctions and may impose them in an amount sufficient to deter future misconduct. Under this provision, the Simmons trial court may decide to order $245,850.24 in sanctions against Mr. Simmons for failure to disclose his separate property asset.

Breach of fiduciary duty is a complex divorce issue that requires representation by a competent attorney. Don’t settle for less when determining your rights.

www.BickfordLaw.com


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As a result of a divorce, many parents are ordered to make child support payments until the child turns 18 (or 19 if he or she is still in high school, living at home, and cannot support himself or herself). Child support is designed to help with child care costs and all other expenses that are associated with being a full-time parent. If children are young at the time of the divorce, child support payments may continue for quite some time.

Unfortunately, during that often lengthy period of time the payor parent (the parent paying child support) might die prior to the time his or her child support obligations have been completed. If this happens, the question remains whether the child support payments then terminate upon the payor parent’s death.

While the death of the parent would be devastating enough for any child, it would be even worse if that child then had to suffer financially as well because the child support payments would no longer be received on his or her behalf. Luckily in California, when a non-custodial parent who is ordered to pay child support dies, his or her obligation to continue to pay child support lives on.

Several cases in California have specifically held that an order to pay child support pursuant to a divorce decree or settlement agreement survives the death of the payor parent and remains a charge against the payor’s estate. The payor’s estate might include bank accounts, 401(k)s, cars, houses, etc. The living, custodial parent would need to file a creditor’s claim against the payor spouse’s estate. To the extent that they are part of the probate estate, child support payments would take priority over other obligations of the estate.

But what if the deceased payor parent doesn’t leave an estate sufficient to cover his or her remaining child support obligation? One way to ensure that child support payments will continue to be received after the payor parent’s death is to secure those payments through a life insurance policy. California Family Code Section 4012 states that “upon a showing of good cause, the court may order a parent required to make a payment of child support to give reasonable security for the payment.” In other words, this gives the court authority to require a parent to provide life insurance as security for child support.

Another option is for the surviving parent to seek benefits on behalf of the child from the Social Security Administration if the deceased parent was gainfully employed for a period of time.

www.BickfordLaw.com


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School is finally out and the sun is shining…summer vacation has officially arrived! Unfortunately, child custody arrangements are a hot item for potential conflict during the summer months because the daily routine often goes out the window leaving the possibility for chaos to emerge. Spending the warm carefree summer months battling over child custody issues is not fun for either parent and it is certainly not fun for the kids. Kids look forward to summer vacation all year long so it’s important that divorced or divorcing parents deal with summer vacations and child custody arrangements in a cordial way.

Child custody in the summertime doesn’t have to be plagued by conflicts! Here are some tips for avoiding those potential conflicts with your spouse and your kids during the three school-less months:

Plan vacation schedules in advance
Agreeing on a vacation schedule is the first step in dealing with child custody during the summer months. A vacation schedule can replace a regular child custody agreement if it is approved by a court and made legally binding. Agreeing on a temporary schedule for the summer vacation months well in advance will help to avoid many potential conflicts.

Foster good communication with the other parent
It is absolutely crucial to communicate with the other parent and notify him or her of any vacation plans and summer activities so that the child’s location is known in the event of an emergency. It’s always a good idea to also notify the other parent if vacation plans change. Keep in mind that when a parent refuses to disclose vacation plans to the other parent, both parents might end up in court. Unless there is a compelling reason not to, a judge will most likely order the parent to divulge vacation plans for safety reasons. This will cost time, money, and stress which could easily be avoided with open communication.

Be sensitive to your child’s emotions
Summer child custody schedules are often quite a big change from the normal daily routine during the school year. Sometime kids are sent to different cities or states to be with the other parent, which might cause an emotional reaction. It’s important for parents to be sensitive and understanding even when the child expresses that he or she misses the other parent. It’s important to not take the child’s reactions personally and to instead focus on the extra time you get to spend with the child.

Read more about the opinion of children in custody and visitation disputes

Don’t Skip or Tweak Child Support Payments
A change in time-share over the summer months (and likely resulting change in financial situation) does not mean that support payments can be skipped or tweaked. Unilaterally skipping or tweaking a support payment is sure to cause conflict with the other parent. Instead, a child support modification should be properly sought with the courts.Keeping these tips in mind this summer when dealing with child custody arrangements is likely to result in a lot more fun in the sun with your kids!
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You may remember our previous blog highlighting the celebrity divorce of Bethenny Frankel, founder of SkinnyGirl Cocktails, and Jason Hoppy. Well, their bitter divorce battle continues to grab entertainment headlines, which report that the soon to be ex-couple is actually still living together in their five million dollar New York City apartment with their 3-year old daughter, Bryn. As if a divorce isn’t already stressful enough, try living in the same household as your soon- to-be-ex while going through the often long, drawn-out divorce proceedings. Frankel tells PEOPLE, “My living situation is very, very stressful…I don’t think it’s very healthy for anyone involved. It’s very upsetting. You just have to endure it.”

It may seem puzzling why Frankel would continue to endure the stress of sharing an apartment with her soon-to-be-ex when she can clearly afford to move into her own place and not have to face Hoppy on a day-to-day basis. Perhaps her reasoning is related to two main concerns related to moving out of the marital home while the parties are going through the divorce process. The first concern is whether moving out of the home will affect a party’s claim to ownership when assets are being divided down the road. The second concern is whether moving out could adversely affect a party’s standing in his or her battle for primary custody of the child or children.

The martial home is likely a significant asset, if not the most significant asset in many divorces. So it’s reasonable that divorcing spouses would worry that “abandoning” the home would make it more difficult for the one who leaves to make a claim on the property in a divorce settlement. If both claim ownership of the home then would that ownership be jeopardized if one party moves out? As California divorce attorneys know, if the home was acquired during marriage then it remains a marital asset subject to distribution regardless of who remains in the home during the divorce process.

If money is not an issue, then many divorce attorneys often advise clients to physically separate when going through a divorce, which usually means moving out of the marital home. A little distance can often times do a world of good for parties who are going through the divorce process. However, when a party does decide to move out of the marital home, there needs to be some serious discussions about the status of the marital residence. Aspects that need to be addressed include: the care, maintenance and financial obligations regarding the home in the interim, items left in the home, and whether the party left in the martial home will have exclusive use and possession of the home. The parties and their divorce attorneys need to discuss the whether the spouse who remains in the home has an expectation of privacy or if the spouse who moved out will be entitled to some use or enjoyment of the home after moving out.

Another concern regarding moving out of the marital home is with respect to child custody. Since both Frankel and Hoppy want primary custody of their daughter Bryn, they might be concerned that moving out of their NYC apartment could adversely affect their standing in their battle for primary custody. Until a parenting plan is in place, “abandoning” the marital home could indicate that parent’s lack of interest in the child’s daily life if the child remains in the marital home with the other parent. This concern can potentially be resolved by establishing an interim custody schedule which ensures that the parent leaving the marital home will have frequent and continuous access to the child. The parent who moves out could also have his or her divorce attorney argue that the purpose of moving out was to reduce ongoing marital conflict out of concern for the child’s well-being throughout the divorce proceedings.

Nonetheless, many San Diego divorce attorneys will generally advise clients with custody disputes to just stay in the marital home together if possible, like Frankel and Hoppy are doing. First, it helps to avoid creating a potential new status quo regarding the “primary residential parent” where the divorce process is taking an extended period of time. And second, when the parties continue to live together under the same roof emotions tend to get heated. As a result, there may be more incentive to conclude the divorce quicker by negotiating a divorce settlement.

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Los Angeles Lakers star Steve Nash has allegedly been in a bitter child support battle with his ex, Alejandra Amarilla. TMZ reports that Nash allegedly doesn’t want to pay up because he is worried that Alejandra, who is an excessive spender, will waste the child support payments by spoiling the kids with expensive luxuries that they do not need. If ordered to pay child support, can Nash limit what Amarilla uses the child support payments for?

Child support payments can be used for anything that is considered “necessary” for the child’s care and well-being. This generally includes things such as the child’s food, clothing, school expenses, after-school expenses and toys. Costs for rent or mortgage, utility bills and other household items are also typically justified as going towards the basic care of the child.

However, California (like a majority of the states) does not require the parent who receives the child support payments to give an accounting to the other parent of how the child support money is spent. Only ten states allow courts to demand an accounting of expenses and spending of child support money received in ten states (Colorado, Delaware, Florida, Indiana, Louisiana, Missouri, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Oregon and Washington). Also in Alabama, courts are allowed to demand such accounting under certain circumstances.Here in California, it is merely presumed that the child support money is spent on the child. Thus, the parent who is making the child support payments does not have much say regarding how the money is used once it leaves their hands.

But what happens when the parent paying the child support suspects that the money is being used not only to care for their children but that it is also going towards the other parent’s personal needs? Unfortunately, not much can be done unless the child’s needs are actually being neglected or ignored. The payor parent won’t be able to seek a modification in his or her child support order from the court without significant evidence that the child’s needs are not being met by the parent who receiving the child support payment.

While the parent paying spousal support may want reassurance that their hard-earned dollars are actually going towards their children’s needs, rather than their ex’s luxuries, unfortunately the law in California is not set up to provide such reassurance. So if Nash is indeed ordered to pay child support to Amarilla, it looks like he won’t have much support from the family law court in keeping tabs on Amarilla’s spending.

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San Diego Family Courts can be intimidating for those unfamiliar with appearing before a judge. Whether appearing with a divorce attorney or in “pro per” (an unrepresented party), it is important for family law litigants to be familiar with the “dos” and “don’ts” of San Diego Family Courts. The following is a few tips on how to earn favor with local family law judges when appearing before them.

1. Be Respectful

The most important thing to remember when appearing in court is to be respectful to every individual you encounter, including the opposing party and/or attorney. Judges in a divorce proceeding are not referees and do not want to witness parties arguing or fighting with each other in open court. Therefore, it is imperative to act with civility in the courtroom by giving every person a chance to tell his/her story without interruption or argument.

Another way to respect the court and legal process is to avoid the use of cell phones and other electronic devices in the courtroom. Judges say that cell phones on vibrate are just as distracting as a cell phone ringing. So it is best to put your cell phone on silent, or better yet, turn it completely off when entering the courtroom. Further, texting in court is not advisable.

2. What to Wear and What Not to Wear

Wearing the appropriate clothing to court does not go unnoticed by the local family judges. When appearing in court, it is not necessary to wear a full suit or dress outside of your comfort zone. However, judges appreciate when parties are not distracting with their clothing and they dress modestly. Dressing conservatively is also another way to show respect to the court.

3. Facial Expressions, Commentary and Body Language

In San Diego Family Law courtrooms, the judges sit at a particularly advantageous vantage point and can see everyone’s behavior at all times. Judges are always watching the litigants, the attorneys, and even all of the people sitting in the audience. According to family law judges, it is incredibly distracting if any person makes facial expressions, nods, shakes his/her head, raises his/her hand, and otherwise takes attention from the proceeding. Remaining still and attentive in a family law hearing may be easier said than done. It is often difficult for parties to remain calm if the opposing attorney or litigant is telling the judge information the party does not want public or does not believe to be accurate. However, in such circumstances, waiting patiently for your turn is greatly appreciated by the judge.

In all situations local family law attorneys should lead by example and demonstrate civil and appropriate behavior for litigants in court. If you have a question regarding courtroom decorum, please ask an experienced family law attorney.

Learn more about the divorce attorneys at Bickford Blado & Botros
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