Nancy J. Bickford

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As we have previously blogged, the majority of couples going through a divorce experience extreme change in their financial situation as they begin untangling one household and establishing two. It seems a little counterintuitive to think that as our economy improves and the average San Diego resident can live a little more comfortably, that more and more people are getting divorced. However, couples have more economic stability today which tends to lessen the financial impact of divorce. Although more money doesn’t necessarily lead to unhappy marriages, it does make divorce more practical and affordable for those who would like to end their marriages. During our recent recession many people chose to stay together because their houses were underwater or one or both spouses were unemployed.

Prior to the recession, typically the most valuable asset owned by divorcing couples was the martial residence. At divorce, the parties usually sold their home and began new lives with the net proceeds. During the recession, couples were unable to sell their homes and realize profits because many San Diego homes were underwater. Therefore, in the face of financial ruin and without any reasonable way to live two separate lives, parties remained married. In the past year, home prices have skyrocketed throughout San Diego. In addition, interest rates have been at a (near) historical low which would enable parties to purchase a smaller home with a manageable monthly payment using the proceeds from the sale of the marital residence. Afraid that the value of their home could plummet again, many couples filed for divorce.

In addition to having assets to divide, an improving economy also means that more people are employed (or have a reasonable expectation of being able to return to work) as they consider divorce. If both parties are able to work or one party is able to earn a higher income, they may be able to maintain two separate households once support is ordered. When jobs were harder to come by and many people were laid off after years of steady employment, numerous California residents struggled to support their family living in one household. For any family, there is only a finite amount of income to apportion for support and living expenses of the supporting spouse. When spouses are struggling to maintain one household, separating into two may not be an option.

Further, one or both parties may have more funds available to retain an attorney in an improving economy. Without the requisite legal knowledge required to navigate the divorce process in California, it is difficult for parties to proceed with a divorce. During the recession, many people could not afford to hire an experienced family law attorney to represent them and protect their interests. Therefore, rather than risk being steamrolled or reaching unfavorable agreements, many spouses decided to avoid divorce altogether.
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When a San Diego couple first considers getting a divorce one of the most common questions is: “How long will it take to be divorced?” Experienced family law attorney’s typically respond that there is no way to estimate the length of any given divorce case with any certainty. The length of time it takes to complete the divorce process is dependent on a number of factors, including:

  • The attitude of the parties
  • The parties’ tolerance for litigation
  • The attorneys (if any) hired by the clients
  • The court’s availability
  • The number and complexity of issues in the case

At a minimum, the parties must wait six months before they can officially terminate their marital status per the mandatory waiting period imposed by California Family Code 2339(a). However, this does not mean that the parties cannot settle all issues in their case and submit their final paperwork pending the conclusion of the six month waiting period.For two Ohio law professors, their divorce and other related disputes has lasted 17 years…so far. The shocking length of this controversy is even more surprising considering the divorce has lasted 7 years longer than the 10 year marriage. This incredibly litigious divorce has resulted in over 1400 entries in the former couple’s divorce file.

Most of the litigation began as a dispute over child custody and visitation. The parties have two children together who are currently ages 17 and 20. Now that one of the children is an adult and the other is nearly an adult, the parties will now turn the focus of their disputes on monetary issues still to be litigated.

Considering the legal background of the parties, most commentators are surprised that they were unable to resolve the majority of their disputes informally. In fact, the two attorneys were chastised by the Ohio 1st District Court of Appeal which wrote, “The parties, who are both law professors and ought to know better, engaged in thoroughly inappropriate behavior that was detrimental to the resolution of their case and to the welfare of their children for which both claimed to be primarily concerned.”

The Ohio District Court of Appeal went as far as to say both professors should be admonished by the Ohio State Bar.

In California, a spouse can be sanctioned for engaging in conduct which frustrates the public policy to promote settlement in litigation. This is because in domestic cases it is generally in the best interest of both parties to resolve their differences out of court – especially when children are involved. This case is a good teaching tool which stands for the proposition that not all battles that can be won should be fought. In family law, there are rarely “winners” and “losers” in a case. Both parties tend to suffer through litigation both emotionally and financially. Most battles are not worth the time, effort, and money necessary to win in court.
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In divorce cases where the parties have offshore assets, those assets are generally not reported to the Internal Revenue Service (“IRS”). However, California family law imposes a strict fiduciary duty of disclosure on all divorcing spouses. Throughout the pendency of a divorce case, the parties are under an ongoing obligation to disclose all material facts and information regarding income, expenses, assets and debts.

This includes unreported income and assets hidden overseas. If a spouse has made efforts to conceal income or assets from the federal government he or she may feel very conflicted about disclosing that information in a state dissolution matter. Therefore, the spouse may be torn by a desire to cooperate with the divorce process and make full disclosures yet fearful of criminal and pecuniary penalties which may be imposed by the IRS. In many cases, both spouses may be aware of the offshore assets or at least suspect they exist.

If a California family court determines that a spouse has failed to meet the strict fiduciary disclosure requirements, he or she will likely be sanctioned in an amount sufficient to deter repetition of the impermissible conduct. In high asset/high income cases, the amount of the sanction could be staggering. In addition, failure to disclose an asset exposes the non-disclosing party to the possibility of the court awarding 100 percent or an amount equal to 100 percent of the asset to the other spouse. On the other hand, if a spouse’s failure to disclose offshore assets and/or reportable income to the IRS is discovered by federal authorities, the spouse will likely face time in jail in addition to substantial financial penalties.

In these cases, the client has limited options. The client could attempt to amend prior tax returns to fully comport with IRS requirements and immediately disclose all hidden assets/income in the divorce case. If a client pursues this option, there is still no guarantee of avoiding federal prosecution. If this option is no longer available, the client could enter the Offshore Voluntary Disclosure Program (“OVDP“). The OVDP was started in 2012 and allows taxpayers to voluntarily disclose offshore assets before they are uncovered by other means. Entering the OVDP can help taxpayers avoid criminal prosecution; however, they will likely still face harsh financial penalties for nondisclosure.

It is incredibly risky for a divorcing spouse with hidden assets or income to fail to make efforts to become compliant with IRS regulations. In a divorce proceeding, attorneys and clients spend substantial time and resources digging into the finances of both parties. It is unlikely that hidden assets or income will remain uncovered under such scrutiny.
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Divorce can have a devastating effect on many aspects of the parties’ lives. In some cases, the parties may not even realize the full effect of the divorce for years to come. For example, in the heat of litigation many spouses may not consider how divorce will impact their social security benefits. In order to get specific information regarding your case, it is important to consult with a divorce attorney who is a financial specialist. However, below are a few general principles to consider.

The first factor to consider in any social security analysis in the context of divorce is the date of separation, and accordingly, the length of the marriage. Neither spouse will be entitled to the other spouse’s social security benefits unless the marriage lasted 10 years or more. A marriage which lasts 10 years or more is typically considered a “long-term marriage“. For the purposes of spousal support, if a marriage lasts less than 10 years, the length of a spouse’s spousal support obligation is generally limited to half the length of the marriage. In a marriage of long duration, the term of spousal support will likely not be limited to half the length of the marriage. Therefore, the length of the marriage will be a significant issue in the context of social security and the divorce in general.

If you are looking to collect social security benefits based on your former spouse’s earning record, the next factor that your divorce attorney will ask you to consider is your marital status. You cannot collect social security benefits based on your former spouse’s earning record if you are currently married. However, if you remarried following your divorce and your second marriage ended in death, divorce or annulment, you may still be able to collect social security benefits as a result of your first marriage. Further, the benefit you would collect based on your former spouse’s earning record must be higher than what you are eligible to collect based on your own earning record.

In order to collect social security benefits as described above, you must meet age requirements and your spouse must meet eligibility requirements. The minimum age to collect social security benefits is age 62. In addition, your former spouse must be eligible to collect or currently receiving social security benefits. In other words, you cannot collect benefits based on your former spouse’s income if he or she is not eligible to collect. If your former spouse is eligible to collect his or her social security benefits but has elected not to receive them yet, you must have been divorced for a minimum of two years before you can collect based on your former spouse’s earnings. If you are considering a divorce, the effect it may have on your social security benefits is another factor to keep in mind when planning for your retirement years.

Read more from SSA.gov about qualifying for divorced spouse benefits
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Just because you’re in the process of ending your marriage through divorce doesn’t mean that it’s the end of all hope for future love, romance or even another marriage in the future. However, while you might be eager to move on with your love life by jumping back into the dating scene, there are a few reasons why you might want to take a step back and put dating on hold until after your divorce is finalized.

  1. Both dating and going through a divorce require a lot of time and attention.

    Going through a divorce can be extremely time-consuming, exhaustive and emotionally draining. This is especially true when the divorce is contested and there are children involved or there are complex, high-valued assets at issue. Jumping into a new relationship might not be the best move as you will need to devote a significant amount of time, energy and resources into finalizing your divorce. Also, if you want your new relationship to be successful then it is advised that you enter into it when you are emotionally, psychologically and financially stable. Otherwise, your new relationship might head down the same path as your marriage did.

  2. Dating could result in issues related to child custody.

    If you are going through a divorce and there are minor children involved then dating can cause several issues that might affect custody and parenting arrangements. First of all, divorce is not only difficult on the spouses involved but also on the children. By bringing a new boyfriend or girlfriend into the children’s lives too soon might cause emotions of resentment and confusion to surface as the children have likely not had an adequate amount of time to adjust to and grasp all of the changes the come along with a divorce. Adding another person to the mix is just another change that is not in the best interests of your children.

    Also, keep in mind that custody arrangements might also be affected if your new boyfriend or girlfriend has a bad (i.e. criminal) past. Legal fees will likely skyrocket if the focus of the divorce becomes about the new significant other, rather than just the two spouses.

  3. Infuriating your ex-spouse is not the best idea during a divorce.

    If you begin dating while going through a divorce and your soon-to-be ex-spouse finds out, then he/she might react in a not so pleasant manner, to say the least. Inciting emotions of anger and jealousy will only lead to a more complex divorce as your spouse will be less likely to want to settle with you and the divorce will have less of chance of being as amicable as you had hoped. Finding someone new while ending the relationship with your current spouse will only add fuel to the fire in a contested divorce.

When it comes to dating while going through a divorce, it’s important to take a step back and look at the reasons why it might be in your best interest to wait until the divorce is officially over before seeking someone new. Even though you might feel lonely during a divorce and feel a longing to fill an empty space, remember that a divorce is only a bump in the road and that you have plenty of time afterward the divorce is final to begin moving on with your life. Focusing on resolving your divorce, rather than putting your time and energy into dating right away, will likely result in a quicker divorce with hopefully less emotional exhaustion.
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Laura Wasser is an LA divorce attorney who represents Hollywood’s most famous celebrities. Considering her clientele, Wasser encounters her fair share of drama in her practice. Recently Wasser published a new book entitled “It Doesn’t Have to Be That Way” full of intriguing divorce stories and advice for any divorcing couple. Although Wasser has been involved in many divorce battles, she provides her readers with the following ten tips for a civilized divorce.

  1. Marriage is a contract. Although this “tip” seems harsh, it is true. Marriage is a contract between adults and when that contract ends, parties must wrap up their relationship in accordance with default California community property laws (unless a premarital agreement is in place). Further, once the relationship originally established between two people has changed, a new relationship must be discussed and negotiated.
  2. Divorce is a business transaction. Another harsh reality regarding divorce is that it is a business transaction. It may be difficult to calmly divide up the life you shared with your spouse, but emotional outbursts will only hinder the process. Wasser recommends parties keep their cool when negotiating divorce issues. Taking unreasonable positions in an attempt to punish your ex-partner will inevitably increase fees and delay the divorce process.
  3. Dissolve it before it gets ugly. The dissolution process will proceed more smoothly if the parties have maintained amicable feelings toward each other. If the parties still respect and care for each other, they are more apt to reaching mutually beneficial resolutions in the event of a dispute.
  4. Before discussing divorce, consider what you want to say. The opening discussion regarding divorce can set the tone for the entire dissolution process. If the parties openly discuss their options and agree to proceed in a collaborative manner, the divorce will likely proceed much smoother than if the parties open the dialogue with insults and threats.
  5. Keep your feelings to yourself. By wrapping up family, friends and co-workers in your divorce you may disclose too much information. It is important to keep the details of your divorce confidential by only sharing them with your attorney and a therapist if you are seeing one.
  6. Be prepared to share. If you have been the primary earner in the marriage you should be prepared to split all of your marital assets and to pay child and/or spousal support. This legal principal applies regardless of gender. The Court will order a female breadwinner to pay support just as a male breadwinner. Additionally, the parties should begin considering sharing their children and the difficulties of being apart from them.
  7. Do not behave badly in front of your children. For the well-being of your children, it is always best to make every effort not to involve them in the divorce process. This requires both parents to refrain from making disparaging remarks about the other in the presence of the children.
  8. Be graceful under pressure. In the event your spouse takes a “less than graceful” approach to the divorce process, it is important to remain stoic. Regardless of the poor behavior of one party, it is not appropriate to retaliate.
  9. Split assets together. Parties can save significant attorney fees and costs by reaching agreements together regarding smaller assets such as personal property in the family home. Often couples walk through the family home together and discuss what they would like. Read more about property division methods
  10. Don’t sleep with your ex-partner. Having a sexual relationship with your ex-partner post-separation can greatly impact your divorce case. A sexual relationship implies the marriage is not over and may change the date of separation.

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As we have previously blogged in “Understanding Parental Alienation in California Part 1,” parental alienation can be extremely detrimental to the children and alienated parents involved. Luckily, there are ways to combat parental alienation and attempt to reunite the child and alienated parent who have been affected by parental alienation.

How Courts Deal with Claims of Parental Alienation

Courts have found ways to address claims of parental alienation and seek remedies that will repair broken relationships and help establish both parents as having a role in raising the child. In mild to moderate cases of parental alienation, a child custody evaluation will typically be performed by an expert to determine how severe the problem is and what kind of therapy and child time sharing should be recommended to help improve the relationship between the child and “alienated” parent.

However, in severe cases of parental alienation, sometimes the only solution is to remove the child from the parent who is alienating the other parent and to instead place the child with the alienated parent. But, before a judge will change the custody arrangement, they will typically require that a psychological evaluation to be done. Unfortunately, such evaluations can take anywhere from three months to a year to complete. In addition, some evaluators will simply argue that the detriment caused by parental alienation can simply be cured with therapy and thus the evaluator will not recommend a custody change to the alienated parent, but instead will recommend a reunification plan involving therapy. If it appears that reunification is not working then the court will typically want the same or new psychologist to re-evaluate the situation, which will take additional time.

Reuniting Alienated Parents with the Child

As an alienated parent, reuniting with your child can pose several challenges. As a result of the parental alienation the relationship with the child is likely very fragile and must be handled carefully in an attempt to repair what has been broken.

However, with proper psychological care, time and patience it is possible to attempt to reverse the effects of Parental Alienation Syndrome and mend your relationship with your child.

It is also advised that the alienated parent not retaliate against the other parent. Rather, if the alienated parent acts reasonably then the parent who is causing the alienation will hopefully be influenced to do the same.
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While broken marriages can be stressful and emotional for both spouses involved, it is typically the children who end up suffering the most throughout the parents’ continued divorce battles. One prime example is where children end up suffering from “parental alienation syndrome,” which is commonly associated with child custody battles that occur during and after divorce. Parental alienation can be extremely detrimental to the child and the alienated parent alike.

What is Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation occurs when one parent acts in a manner that attempts to cause the child to reject the other parent by undermining and thwarting the child’s relationship with the other parent. The purpose of such alienation is usually an effort by one parent to gain or keep custody of the child.

The following behavior will typically lead to claims of parental alienation:

  • Not allowing the other parent to see or visit the child;
  • Refusing to allow the child to talk to the other parent on the phone;
  • Mis-informing the other parent about child’s special events so that it appears that the other parent chose not to attend;
  • Creating a perception that the other parent is dangerous;
  • Discarding mail or gifts sent to the child by the other parent;
  • Creating expectation that the child must choose a side; and
  • Bad-mouthing the other parent.
Parental Alienation’s Effect on the Children – PAS

Parental Alienation Syndrome (“PAS”) is a form of psychological injury to the child as a result of the above behaviors, wherein the child becomes “brainwashed” or manipulated into viewing the alienated parent in a negative light. As a result, the child adopts negative views of the other parent which in turn causes the child to reject the other parent and choose no longer want to spend time with that parent.

This can be extremely detrimental for any child. However, it is important to note that Parental Alienation Syndrome is not recognized a psychiatric diagnosis, but rather it is a theory that was developed by Dr. Richard Gardner. Nonetheless, there is even scholarly consensus that parental alienation (which leads to Parental Alienation Syndrome) is a form of abuse to children.

Parental Alienation’s Effect on the Parents

The impact of parental alienation is not only detrimental to children involved but also to the alienated parent, who involuntarily loses contact with the child, which in turn impairs his/her relationship with the child. In severe cases of parental alienation, the love and bond that the alienated parent once had with the child may be completely destroyed beyond what seems possible to repair.

In Understanding Parental Alienation in California Part 2 we will explore ways that courts deal with claims of parental alienation and tips for reuniting the alienated parents with their children.
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Another one bites the dust. TMZ reports that singer, Ben Harper, and actress, Laura Dern, are officially divorced. In 2010, after five years of marriage and two children later, Harper filed for divorce to Dern’s surprise. The couple reportedly tried to reconcile back in 2012, which turned out to be an utter failure. Now a year later, a Judge has signed off so they are officially divorced and will now be restored to their “single person” status.

Read more about the divorce from TMZ.com

So how exactly do divorcing couples, like Harper and Dern, know when their divorce is officially finalized? In other words, when can they truly move on with their lives and know that their marital status has been restored to “single” person status? In California, a divorce cannot be absolutely finalized until: all of the issues are resolved, a judgment has been signed by a judge and processed by the court, and the six month waiting period has lapsed.

Resolution of All Issues

Issues related to divorce (division of property, custody, child and spousal support, etc.) can be resolved by default, agreement by the parties, through court proceedings where the judge makes an order, or a combination thereof.

The California Divorce 6 Month Waiting Period

Many of our San Diego clients are familiar with the “six month rule”. This rule is codified in California Family Code Section 2339(a), which states that marital status cannot be terminated any sooner than six months from the date that the Respondent was served with the petition for dissolution of marriage or the date of appearance of the Respondent, whichever occurs first. One purpose of this six-month waiting period in California is to give the parties a chance to reconcile or reconsider pursuing the dissolution. Many divorcing couples will often times give the marriage one last shot. However, if the parties fail at reconciling, like Harper and Dern did, or have simply have no intention at all to reconcile, then they still cannot get a divorce until the six month waiting period has been met. The parties may prepare and even finalize their divorce judgment prior to the end of the six month date, however, they will not become “officially” divorced until the six months has lapsed. However, if the parties do not resolve all of the issues prior to the six month date, then they will not be automatically divorced on that date.

Final Divorce Judgment

Once all issues have been resolved, then all of the necessary paperwork must be filed with the court. Thus, even if all issues have been resolved and the six month rule is met, a divorce is not truly final until there is actually a judgment signed by a judge and processed by the Court. The parties will receive a Notice of Entry of Judgment, which means the Judgment is or has been processed but they need to wait for the rest of the Judgment documents, which will be returned to the person who filed them once the Court is done processing them and it will note the date upon which the parties will be restored to the status of single persons.

If you are interested in properly finalizing a divorce from your spouse we can provide you with information and guide you through the process. Our team of experienced attorneys is prepared to litigate on your behalf. If you wish you schedule a consultation with Bickford Blado & Botros, please call us at (858) 793-8884.
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