Nancy J. Bickford

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TMZ reports that actor Jeremy London managed to finalize his divorce from Melissa Cunningham, get married to Juliet Reeves and become a new father to son Wyatt all in the span of one week! That sure is a lot of change for one person. With all that change, I wonder if he contemplated how his new marriage might affect the terms of his recent divorce.

It is very common for people to get remarried after a divorce. Usually the new marriage doesn’t happen quite as quickly as London’s did. Nonetheless, before getting remarried, it is important to seriously consider how your remarriage can affect many of the benefits that you may still be receiving as the result of a previous divorce. One specific consideration is the possibility of discontinuation of spousal support.

Spousal support, for instance, will cease when the partner who is receiving the support remarries, unless the parties have agreed in writing otherwise (California Family Code Section 4337). If you settled your divorce, your agreement should include a provision to this effect. However, some agreements may specifically state that spousal support will continue to be paid regardless of whether the supported spouse gets remarried. Or an agreement may provide for a lump sum support payment or transfer of property in lieu of support, in which case the supported spouse’s remarriage will not affect the spousal support agreement. If you are contemplating remarriage, it is important to review the terms of your divorce agreement and to be aware of the fact that there is a good chance that as soon as you get remarried, you will stop getting that monthly support check in the mail from your previous spouse.If you are the payor of spousal support and you are the one who remarries, then your obligation to pay spousal support to your first spouse will not cease. However, re-marriage after a divorce will still have a significant impact on the person who was the bread-winner in the first marriage (i.e. typically the one paying support). Not only is that person contributing to the finances of the former household, but he/she is now also financially contributing to the new household. This may pose some issues with your new spouse who might resent the fact that a portion of your money is going to your ex-spouse instead of your new family.
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Having your deposition taken can be one of the most nerve-racking experiences for any family law litigant. One of the best ways to dispel your nerves about your upcoming deposition is to gather as much information about the process as possible. You will always have advance notice of your deposition before it occurs so you will have plenty of time to prepare with your attorney. The deposition notice must contain information regarding the date, time and location for the deposition. However, the deposition notice often does not contain an end time because it is hard to predict how long the question and answer session will last.

According to the California Code of Civil Procedure section 2025.290(a), a family law deposition shall not exceed seven hours. Although this general rule seems simple, there are a few exceptions and other factors to consider. For example, the deposition of an expert witness may exceed seven hours. Depositions of parties in family law cases that have been designated as “complex” may also exceed seven hours. If your case does not fall within any of the general exceptions, you may also ask the court for an order extending the permitted length of a deposition. In order to be granted an extension of the permitted deposition length, it is important to show the judge that your case falls outside the norm.A seven-hour deposition can also take place over the period of one or several days. At the beginning of the case, the attorney may need some preliminary questions answered to determine what the major points of disagreement are. Later in the case, the attorney might finish the deposition by delving into the major remaining issues. In addition, the parties and attorneys cannot ride out the seven-hour time limit by taking several breaks and interrupting the process. At the outset of the deposition, the examining attorney may instruct the court reporter to make notations of all breaks and interruptions in order to get an accurate figure for the true length of questioning. Therefore, although the entire deposition process will likely exceed seven hours, the examiner is entitled to seven hours of pure questioning and answers.

If you and your attorney are conducting the deposition of the other party, it will be crucial to meet and confer regarding the most crucial aspects of the case. Your attorney must decide what questions will be the top priority to ensure those questions are asked prior to the expiration of the seven-hour time limit. In addition, if the question and answer portion of the deposition does exceed seven hours and the other side does not object, the testimony taken after seven hours will not be excluded. A failure to object to the length of a deposition will be viewed as a waiver of the seven-hour time limit.
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Once parents have split and begin residing in separate homes, a common issue in divorces involving children is the decision of where the child will go to school. This is particularly of concern when the parents begin residing in different school districts and don’t see eye to eye on where the child should be getting their education. It wouldn’t be fair to make the child switch schools each week when he/she switches households. So, who decides where the child will go to school in this situation?

Determining where your child will go to school depends on the parties’ custody agreement that has been made an order of the court. There are two types of custody in a divorce case, physical custody and legal custody. Physical custody refers to where the child will live after separation or divorce. Legal custody, on the other hand, refers to who will have the right to make major decisions about the child’s health, welfare and education.

If one parent is awarded sole legal and physical custody of the child then the decision of where that child will go to school is left solely up to that parent and typically based on that parent’s residence. The other parent won’t have any legal rights to chirp in regarding where to enroll the child. However, in many California divorces, the parents are awarded joint physical and legal custody of their children. This means that both parents will have significant periods of physical custody such that the child has frequent and continuing contact with both parents. Additionally, both parents will have equal rights to make decisions about the child’s education. This often becomes a problem when the parents reside in different school districts and their preferences don’t align regarding where the child should attend school.Unless the custody agreement provides otherwise, the child will typically be able to attend school in either the school district in which mom resides or the school district in which dad resides. One parent may prefer his/her school district because it will be easier for transportation purposes. Or maybe the other parent thinks that his/her school district has a better sports team for the child. Whatever the parent’s reasoning may be, the issue needs to be resolved before the school year begins. If the parents are unable to reach a mutual agreement on which school their child will attend, then the issue will need to be litigated.
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If you have not started dating during the divorce process, it is a good idea to remain single through the final stages of divorce (within reason). A lot of the major kinks get worked out and all of your paperwork gets finalized at the end of the divorce process. Depending on the amicability of your divorce, if your soon-to-be ex-wife finds out that you are dating someone new, it may derail the entire settlement/closure of your case. On the other hand, if your divorce is extremely contentious and has been dragged out for years, it may be more reasonable for you to begin dating prior to the end of the case. The most important thing is to gauge the situation and to take into consideration how your new love life could impact you financially and emotionally in your divorce.

Once you are officially single, it is important to have clear boundaries with your ex-wife. Are you calling her weekly “just to catch up”? Do you still have personal belongings in her home? Although it is nice to remain friendly with your former spouse (especially if you have children together), it’s probably not a good idea to stay so close. Frequent communication with your ex-wife and trips to her house might create confusion for the both of you during a difficult time. Men should definitely not rush into new relationships just because they are divorced, but it is also healthy to fully separate from a former spouse. Try to avoid pressure from friends and family to “get back out there” if you are not ready. A stereotype persists that men are less emotionally damaged from divorce and that all divorced men are excited to start dating groups of new women. However, if you are not ready for that it could backfire for you creating even more unnecessary drama in your life.When you decide it is a good time to start dating again, it may be a good idea to make some changes to your physical appearance. If you have a gym membership, start going more often. If not, get a membership and start working out on a regular basis. Take better care of your body by eating healthier foods. Show off your new physique with some new clothes. These physical changes will boost your confidence (especially around women) and help improve your overall attitude and mood. When you feel better about your appearance then you can start building a more positive self-image. Overall divorce can be a stressful, exhausting, and devastating process. However, the best way to get past your divorce is to learn from your mistakes, focus on the good memories, and start a new future.
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A custody battle is all about your children so your actions and behavior during the custody battle should also be all about the children and making sure that they are the top priority. Below are some tips for things to do or not do if you are fighting for custody of your child or children:

1) Do not discuss legal matters around your child. No matter how angry or upset you are with your spouse, your child is not the person you should be venting to about the divorce. Consider meeting with a therapist or at least save the divorce discussions for your adult friends.

2) Despite the anger and resentment you may have towards your soon to be ex-spouse, do your best to encourage your child to have a relationship with your soon to be ex-spouse. It’s important for a child to have both a mother and father role model in his/her life.

3) Avoid separating your child from your soon to be ex-spouse’s family members (i.e. grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.). Remember that just because you and your spouse have chosen to call it quits doesn’t necessarily mean your child should have to forfeit his/her relationships with extended family members. Also, when you feel the urge to say something bad about your ex’s family members, remember that even after the divorce your child will still be related to them even though you will not.

4) If you have been ordered to pay child support, do not withhold that support just to punish the other parent. By doing so, you will ultimately be punishing and deprived your child as child support is meant to help out with expenses related to the child.

5) Respect your spouse’s privacy rights when your child is in his/her care. As much as you may want to snoop on your spouse and make sure that your kids are being taken care of, the more respect you show your spouse then more you will likely receive in return. Additionally, so long as your child is not in danger, avoid trying to control every move of what your child does while in the custody of your spouse.

6) Be open to the possibility that a 50/50 shared custody arrangement may not be in the best interest of your child. Keep your child’s unique needs in mind. This is especially true if you have a special needs child who may not react well to change and different environments.
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It is not uncommon in San Diego divorce cases for spouses to accuse each other of improperly hiding or failing to disclose community assets. However, before pursuing any legal course of action for relief in court, it is advisable to collect substantial evidence of misconduct. Often times what seems like wrongdoing at first can simply be explained by clarification of a misunderstanding or the production of supplemental information. In the instance where a spouse is failing to disclose property or making substantial efforts to conceal assets, it may be necessary to seek court intervention. One common thread to accusations of concealment of property is the involvement of a third party.

Obtaining relief from a third party is much more difficult in the family law arena than it is in general civil litigation. In a general civil case or criminal prosecution, any party involved in a conspiracy can be joined in the action and held directly accountable for their involvement. Family law judges hear much more personal types of cases and therefore are hesitant to drag third parties or businesses into divorce or custody disputes.

There are two categories of joinder, mandatory joinder and permissive joinder. Mandatory joinder is used in a limited set of circumstances which are largely procedural. Permissive joinder is a much more arguable area of these laws because the exercise of the court’s discretion in making a decision regarding permissive joinder is the “reasonableness” standard. Whether joinder is considered “reasonable” is highly fact driven and the “reasonableness” of joinder may vary greatly from judge to judge. With such broad discretion and open-ended guidelines, it is impossible to predict with any certainty the outcome of a motion for joinder.A request to join a third party you believe has been conspiring with your spouse to hide property is within the court’s broad permissive joinder criteria. Pursuant to California case law, the court may order joinder of a third party to which one spouse purportedly made an unauthorized gift of community property. For example, if you have evidence to suggest that your spouse is “selling” off community assets to a friend for little to no consideration, you may be able to join the third party who has “bought” community property. Many times, the friend will be holding the property for the spouse until the divorce has concluded and then will return the property to the spouse. These types of cases are difficult to prosecute without substantial evidence of misconduct. However, if you can prove your spouse gifted community property to a third party you may be able to join the third party in your divorce action.
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According to CNN, Cara Cox was reunited with her mother, Jodie Borchert, 4 years after vanishing from Florida with her father, Aaron Cox, against child custody orders. Cara Cox was just 8 years old at the time when she was taken by her father following a weekend visit. For nearly 4 years there were no leads on Cara’s whereabouts. However, a break in the case came on May 12, 2014 when a tip led authorities to a remote area in Mexico, 1,700 miles away, where both Cara and her father were living under aliases. Authorities arrested Aaron Cox and recovered Cara. For Cara’s mother, the wait was finally over.

For some divorcing couples, the fear of your spouse abducting your child in violation of your child custody orders is a serious concern. If you are going through a divorce or have recently divorced, there are some precautions that you can take. First, it is important to keep a record of important information about your ex-spouse including his/her social security number, driver’s license number, vehicle description and license plate number, physical description, etc. Second, it is important to keep a record of important information about your child including his/her height, weight, hair color, eye color, fingerprints, and any unique physical characteristics. Third, it is recommended that you keep an updated list of addresses and telephone numbers of your ex-spouse’s relatives and friends both here and abroad. Lastly, you should take photographs of your child every six months because a recent photo may prove very helpful if your child is abducted by your ex-spouse. Also, as much as you may not want to keep any pictures of your ex-spouse around, keep a recent photo of him/her on hand as well for the same reason.

There are many great smart phone apps to help you keep your child’s information handy, such as The FBI Child ID. Created by the Federal Bureau of Investigation, this app lets parents store their children’s photos plus other identification (height, weight, hair and eye color, age) for quick access if a child ever goes missing. The information is stored on the iPhone only until parents need to send it to authorities. Notable features include safety tips, checklists for what to do if something happens to your child, and shortcuts to dial 911 or the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Parents also have the ability to email info immediately to law enforcement agencies if the unthinkable occurs. (Free; iPhone, iPad)Another great smart phone app is Find My Kids. Using GPS in real time, this app helps you keep track of and automatically locate where your child goes with his phone. If he’s traveling alone, you can confirm that he arrived at a specific destination, or if he’s meeting up with friends, they can confirm each other’s locations. Location info is never shared with anyone else beyond those who have permission to see it, and data is saved for later review. Even though the app is free, parents will need to purchase a subscription for the tracking feature. (Free to download, service requires a monthly fee; iPhone, iPad)

If your child has been abducted you will likely experience a tremendous amount of shock and emotions and won’t be able to think clearly. Thus, it is important that you take the above precautions so that you are prepared for this awful situation.

If you think that your child is at risk of being abducted by your ex-spouse then is it vital that you have a very clear child custody order that outlines the extent to which your ex-spouse has authority to travel with your child. You should keep a copy of the current order in a safe and easily accessible place. Although court orders are not typically recognized in foreign countries, the Hague Convention is an international treaty that provides a method of returning a child who has been abducted by a parent (in violation of custody and visitation orders) from one country that is a member of the Hague Convention to another country that is a member of the Hague Convention.
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Not all divorces are alike. Particularly, divorces involving spouses who have a special needs child will have specific considerations that should be addressed during the divorce process. Some key issues that need to be considered during a divorce proceeding in regard to a special needs child include the following:

1. Physical Custody
In California, the courts award custody based on what is in the best interest of the child. However, one consideration is that the “cookie cutter” parenting plan for a typical child will likely not work for a child with special needs. Special needs children, such as children with autism, often have difficulty with transitions because they are not comfortable with changes in environment. In addition, a special needs child may not understand the concept of time like a typical child would. The goal should be to design a parenting schedule that prioritizes the child’s unique medical, physical and mental needs.

2. Legal Custody
Legal custody is about which parent will make the decisions with regard to the child’s health, education and welfare. In the case of a special needs child, it is very important that the parents advocate in unison with regard to matters involving the child’s placement, services and therapies. Special needs children typically have a team consisting of doctors, therapists, school personnel and childcare providers. If the parents are unable to work together with the team to make these decisions, then the court should be requested to decide which parent should be the one to have such decision making authority.3. Child Support
When litigating your divorce case, it is important to educate the judge as to the unique requirements of a special needs child. You may want to request that the court consider unique un-reimbursed expenses that relate to caring for a special needs child. Although the Court uses a formula to calculate child support, that amount may be adjusted for cases in which the children have special medical or other needs that require child support to be greater than the formula amount. The Court may consider a wide range of add-on expenses such as various therapies, special schools, medication, which the special needs child require to facilitate his or her progression. Another consideration to keep in mind is that child support may even extend beyond age 18 in certain circumstances.

4. Medical Insurance/Life Insurance
Families with a special needs child typically spend thousands of dollars each year in uninsured medical expenses. Consequently, it is important that divorcing parents address the topic of medical expenses (including health insurance premiums and uninsured medical expenses). Also, in some states, such as California, the court may order a parent to secure his/her child support obligation through a life insurance policy.
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Okay, so it might sound a little crazy to think that you can celebrate a divorce. But why not?! You’ve spent the past months or possibly years either settling or litigating your case so you deserve a celebration! Just make sure your divorce is actually final before you begin the celebration festivities.

One way to celebrate the newly single you is by taking time away and going on a “divorcation”. Whether it’s a trip with your best girlfriends or an adventurous getaway by yourself, traveling can help free the mind of all of the stress and emotions you have endured throughout the divorce. Spending time in warm weather will also help lift your spirits. And if you’re looking to mingle and meet new people post-divorce, a cruise might be the way to go.Another way to celebrate your divorce is to throw yourself a divorce party. This means inviting all of your friends and family who helped get you through what was arguably the most difficult time in your life and ordering a divorce cake…and yes, many bakeries are quite accustomed to this request.

If the divorce has left you with empty pockets then maybe a “divorcation” or big party isn’t the best choice. Instead, grab your PJ’s, a big bag of popcorn and find a comfy seat on the couch to watch one of the 10 best divorce movies of all time… Irreconcilable Differences, Stepmom, Liar Liar, Kramer v. Kramer, First Wives World, Waiting to Exhale, Mrs. Doubtfire, Jerry Maguire or Along Came Polly.

Celebrating your divorce also requires you to celebrate YOU and your newfound independence. Start by getting a new cell phone number or think about going back to school to get that advanced degree that you always wanted.

However, before you begin planning your divorce celebration, whatever it may be, you need to be sure that your divorce is actually final. In California, your marriage cannot be terminated until at least six months and one day from the date that you or your spouse served the petition for divorce and the court summons or when you/your spouse responded to the petition. However, your divorce does not automatically become final at the end of the six months. But rather, your divorce is final after the judge signs the divorce Judgment. The court clerk will then mail the divorce judgment to each spouse (or their respective attorneys) and the date that the judgment was filed will be stamped in the upper right corner.
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During a divorce, a judge, a mediator or the parties will make decisions regarding how to divide the marital property, like the residence, the vehicle, savings accounts, and stocks accounts. But what about the couple’s digital assets, like their iTunes music library, MP3s, Kindle eBooks library, etc.? These assets aren’t exactly tangible, yet they may still be considered martial property subject to division during a divorce.

Digital assets are comprised of intangible goods such as digital books, music and movies. These are most typically stored in iTunes accounts or other MP3 storage accounts and Kindle eBook accounts. Digital assets can even include digital storage, social media accounts and blogs. These digital assets raise the question of whether they are subject to division during a divorce and whether or not they can be valued.

Although there is not much law on this subject, when it comes to the division of digital assets, many states will divide the digital assets using an “equitable distribution” system to divide, allocate and value these assets. The “marital property” will be assigned a value and then it will be distributed equitably, or fairly, between the spouses. Such division does not always result in a 50/50 split, but rather it is what is considered a fair split.However, just like a car cannot be split in half, neither can many digital assets. Additionally, unlike the ownership of a car which can typically be transferred quite easily to the other spouse, transferring ownership of digital assets is not always feasible. In fact, some user agreements do not even allow for transferring ownership. A judge’s ruling will not even supersede these user agreements. To resolve the issues that division of digital assets pose, the spouse who owns the iTunes and Kindle libraries may be awarded them, while the other spouse may be awarded a different asset in leui. Another option is for the spouse who is awarded the asset to “buy-out” the other spouse based on the value of the asset awarded to him/her.

Although the division of digital assets is a relatively new area of the law, as more digital products continue to develop, I suspect that divorce attorneys will see a lot more issues involving digital assets and thus a lot more law on the topic.
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