Nancy J. Bickford

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As a divorce attorney, most of my clients come to see me for the first time with some misconceptions regarding California family law and/or divorce procedures. When clients mention divorce to family and friends their loved ones often have some input and suggestions based on personal experience or “horror stories” they have heard. While they are well-intentioned, family and friends may not be completely on point with their legal advice. Below is a list of common divorce myths and urban legends that I often spend time debunking with my clients.

“Title of Property Controls“: Some clients come into my office assured that if a bank account, house, or retirement account is in his or her name it is “their” asset and will not be divided with his or her spouse pursuant to the divorce. Wrong. While title of property can be relevant to determining whether the property is community (and will be divided equally by a court) or separate (and will be confirmed to the title holder), title is not dispositive to the characterization of property. As a general rule, all property acquired during marriage (except by gift, inheritance, or devise) is community property and subject to equal division. This means that even if title to a vehicle is held by one spouse, that vehicle will be subject to equalization if it was acquired during marriage with community funds.“The Mom Will Get Custody”: As we have previously blogged, there are many misconceptions about the role of gender in family law, especially regarding custody and visitation. Pursuant to the California Family Code, it is in the best interest of the child(ren) to have frequent and continuous contact with both parents. Legally, there is no distinction between fathers and mothers as the preferable parents.

“Spousal Support and the 10 Year Mark”: The myths and urban legends regarding spousal support (commonly referred to as “alimony”) in California are plentiful and most of them relate to the ten (10) year mark of a marriage. Although the length of marriage is a consideration for the court when it determines the length of time a paying spouse is obligated to pay spousal support, there is no minimum length of marriage required to receive spousal support. In addition, the length of the marriage has little to no bearing on the amount of support ordered.

“I Do/Don’t Have to Maintain My Spouse’s Health Insurance”: On the issue of health insurance clients tend to believe what they want to hear. The paying spouse believes that when he/she files for divorce he/she can cancel the health insurance of his/her spouse. In contrast, the supported spouse who is often carried on his/her spouse’s health insurance policy believes his/her spouse should maintain this policy indefinitely. Upon filing for divorce/service of the Summons (depending on whether you are the Petitioner or Respondent), Standard Family Law Restraining Orders take effect which prohibit cancelation of a spouse’s health insurance policy. In addition, upon divorce, a party cannot remain on his/her former spouse’s health insurance policy absent COBRA coverage.
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After 23 years of marriage, Kris Jenner filed for divorce from Bruce Jenner. Sources say that Bruce “celebrated” his upcoming freedom by dropping $50,000 on a new NASCAR-approved UTV race car. Although the Jenners’ divorce documents allege that their date of separation was back in 2013, a significant impulse buy before their divorce is even close to final could potentially cause some problems, when it comes to division of their property.

When couples go through a divorce, the court (or the parties via settlement) will make decisions about how to divide their assets and debts. Since California is a community property state, assets acquired during marriage are considered community property and thus subject to 50/50 split between husband and wife. Assets acquired before marriage or after the parties’ date of separation, on the other hand, are considered separate property of the spouse who acquired it. However, issues can arise when a significant asset is purchased after the couples’ separation but before their divorce is finalized. For instance, purchasing a new vehicle after separation may complicate a divorce as it relates to disclosure of assets and determining whether the new vehicle is indeed separate property.One potential issue with purchasing a new car after separation is inadequate disclosure. Once a spouse files for divorce each spouse will be required to draft and exchange Preliminary Declarations of Divorce (“PDODs”). One aspect of the PDODs is the Schedule of Assets and Debts, which outlines all of the parties’ assets and debts, including vehicles. If you have already exchanged your PDODs and then later purchase a new vehicle (before the divorce has been finalized), then you will need to disclose this new purchase to your spouse. You will likely need to augment your Schedule of Assets and Debts to reflect the new asset. The new vehicle will also need to be addressed in your Martial Settlement Agreement. It’s important not to omit any of your assets from your final divorce paperwork, even if you are sure that the asset is your separate property.

Another potential issue with purchasing a new car after separation is determining whether it truly is separate property or not. If the date of separation is a contested issue, then determining whether the new car was purchased “during marriage” or “after separation” may be quite a problem. If you and your spouse cannot agree on a date of separation then it may need to be litigated in court. Once the date of separation is decided and it is clear that the vehicle was purchased after that date of separation, it does not mean that you are home free. You then need to look at the source of the money that was used to buy the vehicle. If you used your earnings that you acquired after separation then the source of the money was separate property. But if you used money from a joint account that you and your spouse acquired during marriage or if you traded in a community property car, then the new vehicle might not be your separate property.

It may be best to simply avoid buying any significant assets before your divorce is final. Unfortunately, divorces are often dragged out over a couple of years or more and thus it is unrealistic for parties to avoid making new purchases. Luckily for the Jenners, sources say that the couple has already reached an amicable settlement regarding the division of all of their assets, so it doesn’t look like Bruce’s recent vehicle purchase will pose that much of a problem.
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For many people, their first experience with a courthouse is through a divorce proceeding. Going to court for the first time can be intimating for someone who does not know what to expect. If you have not been inside a courtroom before you likely imagine it is similar to images portrayed on television. In San Diego, the courthouses and courtrooms are vastly different than the courthouses and courtrooms shown on popular T.V. shows. Below is a list of tips to help you become prepared for your first trip to one of San Diego’s family law courthouses.

Parking:
In San Diego County there are six different courthouses that your case can be assigned to. Your case assignment will be based on the zip code of you or your spouse. Some of the courthouses (Vista, South Bay, and East County) have their own parking lots where litigants can park for free. However, these lots may fill up fast so you will want to allow extra time to find parking before your hearing. The three courthouses downtown do not have connecting parking lots and do not reimburse for parking. Litigants can park at a nearby lot (with a cost ranging from $10-$24 dollars for the day) or a metered parking space. Again, it is important to allow for extra time to find parking before your hearing.

Security in the Courthouse:
The San Diego County Sherriff’s Department staffs the security at all of the county’s family law courthouses. When you first enter a family law courthouse you must pass through the metal detectors and place all of your personal belongings on the conveyor belt to be x-rayed. If you want to pass through security without any problems, leave any weapons (including household items that could be used as a weapon) at home or in your car. Depending on the rules at the particular courthouse your case is assigned to, you may be required to remove your jacket and/or your belt before passing through the metal detectors. The security check will take a little time, so you will want to arrive a few minutes early to account for that.

Navigating the Courthouse:
After you make it through security, locate the department that your case is assigned to and wait nearby for the courthouse to open. You can often confirm you are in the right place by reading the signs posted outside of the department. Most courtrooms will post a list of the hearings for each calendar that day. One list might say 9:00 AM and have a list of name and then another might say 1:45 PM and have a different list of names. If you think you are in the right place and your case is not listed on the appropriate list, you should check with a bailiff.

The Courtroom:
Do not be alarmed if you are in the right place at the right time, but the courtroom is locked. It is very common for the courtrooms to open up much later than the time matters are originally set to be heard. When the judge is ready to hear your case, a bailiff will make the announcement that the department is open. Once the announcement is made, file in with the rest of the litigants and check-in with the bailiff. Before the judge takes the bench, the bailiff needs to review the list of hearings and determine which parties are present. If the bailiff has checked your name off the list, take a seat and wait for your matter to be called. While you are in the courtroom make sure that your cell phone is turned off. The courtroom will likely have other rules such as no gum chewing, food, drinks, hats, etc. Family law hearings are public; therefore, you will likely hear other cases go before you and your matter will be heard with the other litigants present in court.
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It comes as no big surprise that Katharine McPhee, American Idol finalist and actress in Smash and Scorpion, is divorcing her husband, Nick Cokas after six years of marriage. The couple became estranged about a year ago when McPhee was photographed kissing Smash director, Michael Morris, after the two of them had lunch together in Los Angeles. At the time, Morris was married, and actually still is married, to actress Mary McCormack.

TMZ reports that in McPhee’s divorce documents she claims that she was separated from Cokas at the time of the kissing incident with Morris. Cokas, on the other hand, is claiming in his responsive divorce documents that the separation was actually in May 2014, seven months after the kissing incident between McPhee and Morris. The couple’s date of separation is a significant point of contention because it will determine what portion of the money that Katharine has recently made will be considered her sole and separate property, rather than community property. McPhee has approximately $700,000 owed to her from Columbia/Epic records, so this isn’t exactly a small chunk of change that we’re talking about.

Although the public might assume that kissing someone other than your spouse means that the married couple is separated, this isn’t necessarily true. From a legal perspective, a couple’s date of separation is the first date when either party subjectively decided the marriage was over, and not salvageable, and their overt actions demonstrate that subjective frame of mind. Physical separation is not sufficient to show that you are separated because some people live separate but do not intend to end their marriage. The Court will look at your conduct toward each other to determine when the marriage “ended” for purposes of choosing the date of separation.

An instance of infidelity is also not sufficient to determinatively set the parties date of separation. Since the kissing incident, it was reported that McPhee and Cokas were working on their marriage and that Morris and McCormack had also reconciled. McPhee and Cokas were even see walking their dogs together and smiling. Cokas also claims that he has plenty of evidence to show that they didn’t separate until May 2014. He claims that he has emails and texts evidencing their relationship. Other sources also claim that the couple was in marriage counseling after the kissing incident in an effort to save their marriage. So just because McPhee was caught kissing another man, doesn’t mean that was their date of separation.
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If you are recently divorced or still in the midst of the divorce process, this holiday season will likely be the first that your children spend time away from you. Throughout the divorce process, when minor children are involved, the main focus of the case is the best interest of the children and making the transition as smooth as possible for them. Divorce can be very distracting as litigants are dividing property, dividing money, dividing time with their children, and unraveling a life together. Once the process is complete and the divorcées settle into new routines, it can be hard to adjust to time alone without the children. Having the children gone for a whole weekend or a couple nights during the week is hard, but manageable. However, when the children are not home on Thanksgiving or Christmas, it is devastating for many parents. Although the holidays will not be the same after your divorce, below is a list of tips to make the transition easier for you.

Make your own plans: Planning is crucial to easing your family through the first holiday season after or during a divorce. In addition to making plans ahead of time with your former spouse regarding how you will share the children over the holidays, make your own plans with people you love. After your children leave to spend a holiday/part of a holiday with the other parent, you should be ready to head to a friend or family member’s place for your own festivity. Although you might not feel up to celebrating with friends and family, they will make the day easier for you and you might just have some fun.Do something for you: If your children will be away for an extended period of time over the holiday break, plan to treat yourself to something you really enjoy. You might book a massage, buy tickets to a show, go out for a nice meal or spend some extra money to upgrade to the NFL network. Giving yourself something to look forward to while the kids are away will make the time apart easier.

Get organized: Once you have a plan for how you and your co-parent will share the children over the holidays, keep the kids in the loop. Talk with your children about their “exciting” holiday plans and the new traditions you are going to start this year. Instead of focusing on how things used to be in the past, have fun with your kids by coming up with new ideas and holiday traditions. Have a plan for the holiday exchange with your spouse that is short and sweet. Saying a brief goodbye without heartbreak and tears will leave both you and the children with a more comfortable feeling about the separation.
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After you retain a family law attorney and file your petition or response for dissolution or separation, one of the first things that your divorce attorney will likely do is hand you a blank Form-150 and Form 142 and ask you to start gathering a plethora of documents related to your income, assets and debts. This can be very overwhelming for clients, especially those who are still dealing with the emotions and shock of grasping that they are about to go through a divorce. Consequently, the importance of preparing complete and accurate preliminary declarations of disclosure (“PDODs”) is often ignored because it appears to be a very daunting task for divorcing spouses.

Family Code Section 2100 specifically states that “a full and accurate disclosure of all assets and liabilities in which one or both parties have or may have an interest must be made in the early stages of a proceeding for dissolution of marriage or legal separation of the parties, regardless of the characterization as community or separate, together with a disclosure of all income and expenses of the parties.” It’s important that the parties get started on their PDODs right away because pursuant to Family Code Section 2104, the petition must serve his/her within 60 days of filing the petition and the Respondent must serve hers/his within 60 days of filing the response. Also, having PDODs allows the parties to move forward in identifying potential issues of dispute and resolving financial issues early on.

The PDODs are comprised of the following:

1) Declaration of Disclosure (FL-140): This form is signed by the party and is simply a summary of the attachments enclosed with the PDODs. You will note that all tax returns (personal, corporate, etc.) filed in the past two years need to be included.

2) Income and Expense Declaration (FL-150): This form is a summary of the party’s current income from all sources and his/her monthly expenses. Paystubs from the past two months need to be attached to the form.

3) Schedule of Assets and Debts (FL-142): This form sets forth a summary of the party’s assets and debts. Many people think that their separate property doesn’t have to be disclosed; however, all known assets and debts, including your separate property, community property and your spouse’s separate property that you know of must all be disclosed. This means all tangible and intangible items ranging from a residence to airline frequent flyer miles to student loans. Along with each asset or debt listed, you need to attach supporting documents. You may redact part of the account number on the account statements to protect your privacy.

4) Declaration Regarding Service of Preliminary Declaration of Disclosure (FL-141): This form is confirmation that of the date that you served your PDODs on the other party.

5) Proof of Service (FL-335): The proof of service is what is actually filed with the Court to let the Court know when you served the other party with your PDODs.

Failing to have complete and accurate preliminary declarations of disclosure can lead to potentially significant monetary and other sanctions. However, if you serve your PDODs and later realize that you have changes or updates, you can amend your PDOD at any time. However, you must file a Proof of Service of each amendment with the court.
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Heidi Klum and Seal are officially divorced and back on the market. TMZ reports that their split was actually quite amicable and they had no issues with dividing property and figuring out spousal support thanks to a post-nuptial agreement that they signed after marriage. Although they did not have a pre-nup, their post-nup kept most of their earnings separate and their divorce process was streamlined because they didn’t fight over money. It is reported that neither party will get spousal support from the other and they have even worked out a custody agreement for their four children.

If couples, like Klum and Seal, marry without a prenuptial agreement (aka “pre-nup”) there is still an opportunity to enter into a legally binding agreement regarding property division and support in the event of a divorce. They can do so after they are already married in what is known as a post-nuptial agreement (aka “post-nup”). This is common when couples don’t like the stigma attached with a pre-nup, have a very short engagement and don’t necessarily have time to draft a pre-nup, have children from a previous marriage or perhaps their circumstances have changed such that they wish they would have taken the step to sign a pre-nup. Really the only difference between a pre-nup and a post-nup is that a post-nup is signed after marriage, rather than before. Other than that, it is still a legally binding agreement should the parties decide to get divorced later on.

A post-nup must be in writing and signed by both of the parties. While the parties are free to negotiate the terms of their post-nup, they should be fully informed about all of their assets and debts and they should be represented by independent counsel. Drafting a post-nuptial agreement is an opportunity for married couples to analyze their assets and debts and then set terms that are acceptable to both parties. It will allow the parties to gain a common understanding of how to handle contentious financial issues.A post-nup might include designations regarding which assets and debts are to be considered separate property, the amount of spousal support to paid to one party, the right to manage or dispose of property, the role of a spouse in a business, and division of community property in the event of a divorce or separation. A post-nup might also address how to divide money in a blended family where one or both spouses have children from a previous marriage. However, a post-nuptial agreement cannot address child custody or child support. If the parties’ marriage does eventually dissolve, the post-nup will essentially serve as the framework for drafting a marital settlement agreement.
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It is common in contested divorce cases for one or both parties to hire a family law attorney. Divorce attorneys are experts in the law; however, they are not all necessarily experts in specialized areas that some divorces involve. Throughout San Diego County there are a variety of experts who work with family law attorneys to help clients in the divorce process. Depending on the issues in the particular case, a psychological, vocational, medical, or financial expert may help the parties overcome impasse and move the case forward. However, although experts can be invaluable assets in a divorce, hiring an expert can be expensive and may lead to a battle of experts in the courtroom.

Financial Experts & Vocational Experts

Disputes over child support and spousal support can drag a divorce out for months or even years. When one spouse is self-employed, the parties often take vastly different positions on the paying spouse’s income. In order to save time and significant attorney fees, some attorneys recommend hiring a neutral expert to conduct an income analysis. The financial expert will examine all materials provided by both parties and has the ability to request additional documents needed to conduct the analysis. The expert will then provide both sides with a report outlining his or her opinion on the self-employed spouse’s income available for support.

If one or both parties disagree with the analysis for some reason, he or she may hire an independent expert to conduct a similar analysis or review the work of the neutral. However, if both parties accept the analysis, they can reach an agreement on support quickly and move forward in the case. In addition to performing an income analysis, a financial expert may also be hired to value a business or analyze various accountings.

Another common reason for a support dispute is a disagreement over the level of income one or both spouses should be earning. If one or both parties are unemployed or underemployed the parties can hire a vocational expert to conduct an evaluation of the ability and opportunity for the party to become employed. Pursuant to the findings of the vocational expert, the parties can agree to impute income to the unemployed or underemployed spouse.

Psychological Experts

Just as support disputes prolong the divorce process, custody and visitation battles can do the same. Sometimes it is helpful for the parties to hire an expert to evaluate the custody and visitation issues and make a recommendation to the parties. In addition, psychological experts also may be hired to evaluate one or both parent’s ability to parent the children. Therapists can be used in family law cases to conduct reunification therapy in an attempt to repair the relationship between one party and his or her children.
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If you and/or your spouse are contemplating divorce, one of the initial considerations is whether you should file for divorce or wait for your spouse to file first. Specifically, is there an advantage or disadvantage to filing for divorce first? In a typical divorce proceeding, it does not make a big difference whether you are the petitioner (first to file) or respondent in your case. In the court’s view, both parties are on a level playing field. The petitioning party is not penalized for filing first, but he or she is also not rewarded in any way. In addition, the San Diego Superior Court charges the same filing fee ($435) for filing the Petition for Dissolution and the Response to Petition for Dissolution. Combined, the parties will spend $870 just to make their appearances in a divorce proceeding.

There can be a slight advantage to being the first to file for divorce if you and your spouse reside is different zip codes. Your divorce case will be assigned to a particular courthouse based on representations made in the Petition. If you would like your case heard at the courthouse near your home, you should file a Petition before your spouse. If you believe there may be some advantage to you if the case is heard at the courthouse your spouse’s zip code is assigned to, you can file a Petition and have the case assigned to that courthouse. The petitioner will decide which courthouse his or her divorce case is assigned to. Consulting with an experienced family law attorney who has worked in the different courthouses throughout San Diego County can help you make the decision regarding where to file your case.

In a small number of cases, the first party to file can have a significant outcome on the divorce proceedings. If you and your spouse live in different states or even different counties within California, you should consider filing for divorce as soon as possible. When two spouses live in different counties, the responding spouse will be required to travel to a different county to attend court hearings. This has the potential to be an inconvenience and makes communication with a local attorney slightly more difficult. However, if you and your spouse live in different states, you will want to compare the laws of that state to family code statues and cases in California. It is imperative that you consult with a divorce attorney immediately to determine if you could be greatly disadvantaged if your spouse files for divorce out of state.

If you and your spouse share minor child(ren), the jurisdictional issues involved in your case may be even more complicated. Becoming informed of your options is the first step you can take towards protecting your rights.
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Gender neutral language has not always been present in the California Family Code.
For instance, the current California Family Code Section 4323(a)(1) reads as follows:

“Except as otherwise agreed to by the parties in writing, there is a rebuttable presumption, affecting the burden of proof, of decreased need for spousal support if the supported party is cohabiting with a person of the opposite sex. Upon a determination that circumstances have changed, the court may modify or terminate the spousal support as provided for in Chapter 6 (commencing with Section 3650) of Part 1.” [emphasis added]

In other words, as the current provision stands, if you are paying spousal support to your ex-wife and she is now living with a member of the opposite sex (i.e. a new boyfriend) then a family law judge will presume that your ex-wife doesn’t need as much spousal support and you could perhaps petition the court for a modification of spousal support. This of course is merely a presumption, not a certainty, so your ex would have an opportunity to show the judge that there is not a reduced need for spousal support.

The problem with the provision as it is currently written is that many divorce attorneys represent clients who are paying spousal support to their ex who is actually cohabiting with a same-sex partner, with whom they are in a romantic relationship. If your ex-wife is now living with a female roommate and you have established that their relationship is indeed intimate then you would want the family law judge to presume that her need for support is now reduced. But because the presumption only applies to cohabitation with a person of the opposite sex, herein lies the problem that many San Diego attorneys come across.

However, in July 2014, Governor Jerry Brown passed Senate Bill 1306, which will remove biased language from the California Family Code and instead recognize married spouses equally, regardless of their gender. With the passing of SB 1306 and the subsequent changes to Family Code Section 4323 (a)(1), gender distinction in this family code section is essentially being rendered obsolete. Family Code Section 4323(a)(1) will read as follows and will take effect on January 1, 2015:

“Except as otherwise agreed to by the parties in writing, there is a rebuttable presumption, affecting the burden of proof, of decreased need for spousal support if the supported party is cohabiting with a nonmarital partner. Upon a determination that circumstances have changed, the court may modify or terminate the spousal support as provided for in Chapter 6 (commencing with Section 3650) of Part 1.” [emphasis added]
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