The overnight hit television show Glee has become extremely popular with its teenage audience. The show follows a group of fictional high school students as journey through their teenage years. One of the show’s attractions is its many singing and dancing numbers performed by the students for their glee class. Glee’s most recent episode entitled “Choke” featured a more serious topic, domestic violence. Harsh criticism has followed the show’s depiction of this important cause, one critic stated “Choke is a morally reprehensible hour of television, one from which the show many never fully recover.” The most common complaint from viewers and supporters of the fight against domestic violence is that the show gave the topic an “insultingly short shrift”.

Glee attempted to shed some light on various misconceptions about domestic violence. The victim in this episode is the loveable “Coach Beiste”. Beiste is a large and masculine woman who always had trouble finding a date because of her macho nature. She is the coach of the boy’s football team for the high school and is often seen lifting weights and screaming at the players. Recently Beiste married Cooter Menkins, a well-liked football recruiter. Regardless of size, shape, appearance or gender any person can be victimized by domestic violence. In fact, because so many instances of domestic violence go unreported, it is difficult to get a clear understanding of what is exactly going on behind closed doors. Throughout the United States only one out of every four incidences of domestic violence get reported.

The episode portrayed one incident in which, out of an alcoholic rage, Cooter punched Coach Beiste and gave her a black eye. Alcoholism, drug abuse and addiction in general are often researched in connection with domestic violence. Although researchers debate the actual percentage of domestic violence incidents, which are fueled by substance abuse, generally many batterers admit they consumed alcohol or abused illegal drugs on the day of the incident.

Like many victims who do not want to disclose incidents of violence, Coach Beiste told her coworkers and students that she got her black eye in the gym from a punching bag. Victims hide their injuries for a number of reasons including, but not limited to fear of the abuser, judgment from friends and family, in efforts to protect their abuser, out of a belief that police and other agencies cannot help them. San Diego offers many resources throughout the community that specialize in helping victims of domestic violence. The San Diego Family Justice Center is a one-stop-shop for all victims regardless of whether they are ready to leave their abuser.

The key to understanding the crime of domestic violence is recognizing that it is a deliberate pattern of abuse that results in a cycle. Throughout the cycle, the couple rotates through many stages and these stages can appear in any order and possibly occur all in one day. Generally in the cycle there is a tension-building stage where the abuser is becoming angry and the victim may feel as if he or she is walking on eggshells in the relationship. Next an incidence of violence including emotional, physical or sexual violence can occur as a result of the mounting tension. Following the violent incident the abuser is likely to apologize and promise it will never happen again or blame the victim for the incident. The next stage typically is called the honeymoon stage or the “making-up” stage where the abuser fulfills most of his or her promises and the victim might believe he or she has changed. The last seen of Glee’s Choke episode depicts Beiste returning to her husband after she vowed to leave him. This is not uncommon and a predictable part of the cycle.

Any situation involving domestic violence is dangerous. Please contact us if you have questions regarding the effects of domestic violence on child custody or divorce. Nancy J. Bickford is the only attorney in San Diego County representing clients in divorces, who is a Certified Family Law Specialist (CFLS) and who is actively licensed as a Certified Public Accountant (CPA). Don’t settle for less when determining your rights. Call 858-793-8884 in Del Mar, Carmel Valley, North County or San Diego.