During marriage, it is pretty common for one spouse to have health insurance coverage provided through his/her employer and to cover the other spouse and the couple’s children under that plan. How will a divorce affect both the spouse’s and the children’s coverage during the divorce proceedings and after the divorce?

Health insurance pending divorce:
While a divorce is pending and you are simply separated from your spouse, if you are currently covered under your spouse’s health insurance plan, your spouse is not allowed to unilaterally remove you or change your health insurance coverage. On page 2 of the Summons, there is a list of the Automatic Temporary Restraining Orders, including a specific order regarding health insurance. If your spouse attempts to remove you from the coverage, talk to an attorney and consider filing a Motion for Contempt.

Health insurance after divorce:
It is common for one spouse to be a stay at home parent without any access to health insurance benefits or employed at a job that doesn’t offer health benefits. If this is the case, getting health insurance after a divorce may be a significant burden and expense especially because after the divorce an ex-spouse is no longer considered a “family member” for purposes of qualifying under the other spouse’s health coverage plan.

To avoid this dilemma, sometimes couples decide to proceed with a legal separation rather than a dissolution of marriage. Although they will be legally separated and property division, custody and support issues will all be resolved in a separation agreement, they will remain married for purposes of remaining qualified under the other spouse’s health insurance plan. The parties may agree to remain legally separated for a specified amount of time (i.e. until the “uninsured” spouse is able to obtain health insurance through other means) before actually filing for divorce.If filing for legal separation is not an option for you and you are instead proceeding with a dissolution, there are still other state and federal statutes (Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act “COBRA”) which allow you to temporarily retain coverage, at a cost, under your spouse’s health insurance plan for a limited period of time after divorce. Many divorces also result in an arrangement whereby the insured spouse makes cash payments to the uninsured spouse as and for health insurance coverage. This arrangement will typically cover the children as well if the uninsured spouse is the custodial parent after the divorce. Making sure that the spouse and children remain insured is an important issue to discuss in settlement negotiations or divorce litigation if the parties cannot amicably agree.
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If you are going to family court then chances are that you have children. With your attorney fees and court filing fees adding up, paying for childcare is likely not an additional expense that you want to incur while attending court hearings. However, bringing your kids to the court hearing is not an ideal alternative. In fact, courthouses, especially family law courthouses, are not the best environment for young children to be a part of. In family court, the atmosphere is typically very emotionally-charged and can be frightening to young children if exposed to what is going on. Luckily, there is an alternative option now as many courthouses offer a Children’s Waiting Room.

California Government Code Section 26826.3 and California Rules of Court Section 10.24 set forth the state’s policy that each court must make an effort to provide a children’s waiting room in each courthouse for the children who are present in court with their parent or guardian attending a court hearing either as a litigant, a witness or for other purposes. The waiting room is supervised and open during normal court hours.The Children’s waiting room is meant to be a safe and nurturing area for children to go while their parents are in family court. The waiting room is staffed with trained volunteers who will care for your children. It is stocked with child-sized furniture, toys and games, which will help keep your child occupied while you attend your court hearing. With your children safely occupied at the Children’s waiting room you are able to focus on your court hearing or other meeting being held at the court.

In California, there are actually sixty-seven courthouses that have children’s waiting rooms. Specifically, in San Diego, a Children’s Waiting Room is currently offered at the following locations: Family Court, Juvenile, North County Regional Center, East County Regional Center, South County Regional Center, and three locations Downtown.
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If you are recently divorced or still in the midst of the divorce process, this holiday season will likely be the first that your children spend time away from you. Throughout the divorce process, when minor children are involved, the main focus of the case is the best interest of the children and making the transition as smooth as possible for them. Divorce can be very distracting as litigants are dividing property, dividing money, dividing time with their children, and unraveling a life together. Once the process is complete and the divorcées settle into new routines, it can be hard to adjust to time alone without the children. Having the children gone for a whole weekend or a couple nights during the week is hard, but manageable. However, when the children are not home on Thanksgiving or Christmas, it is devastating for many parents. Although the holidays will not be the same after your divorce, below is a list of tips to make the transition easier for you.

Make your own plans: Planning is crucial to easing your family through the first holiday season after or during a divorce. In addition to making plans ahead of time with your former spouse regarding how you will share the children over the holidays, make your own plans with people you love. After your children leave to spend a holiday/part of a holiday with the other parent, you should be ready to head to a friend or family member’s place for your own festivity. Although you might not feel up to celebrating with friends and family, they will make the day easier for you and you might just have some fun.Do something for you: If your children will be away for an extended period of time over the holiday break, plan to treat yourself to something you really enjoy. You might book a massage, buy tickets to a show, go out for a nice meal or spend some extra money to upgrade to the NFL network. Giving yourself something to look forward to while the kids are away will make the time apart easier.

Get organized: Once you have a plan for how you and your co-parent will share the children over the holidays, keep the kids in the loop. Talk with your children about their “exciting” holiday plans and the new traditions you are going to start this year. Instead of focusing on how things used to be in the past, have fun with your kids by coming up with new ideas and holiday traditions. Have a plan for the holiday exchange with your spouse that is short and sweet. Saying a brief goodbye without heartbreak and tears will leave both you and the children with a more comfortable feeling about the separation.
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So not only has your wife/husband left your marriage high and dry, but your ex already has a new boyfriend or girlfriend who is just plain bad news. Perhaps the new boyfriend/girlfriend is an ex-convict, does illegal drugs, is involved in an inappropriate lifestyle or is simply not a good influence to your children. The last thing you are going to want is for that new significant other to be hanging around your kids, and possibly living under the same roof as them, when your ex-spouse has custody of the kids. So what can you do in this type of situation to protect your beloved children from this potential physical and/or emotional risk?

You first need to consider whether you are simply just upset that your ex has already moved on, and thus you are looking for revenge by requesting more custody of the kids, or if your ex’s new boyfriend/girlfriend actually poses a physical or emotional risk to your kids’ health, safety and welfare. If the latter is the case, then you may consider asking the court to award sole physical custody of the children to you.When making a custody order, the court looks at what is in the best interest of the child. California Family Code Section 3011(b)(3) states that the court shall consider the health, safety and welfare of the child when determining what is in the best interest of the child. Thus, if your ex is allowing the new boyfriend/girlfriend to spend time alone with the kids and as a result the children are being significantly negatively affected on a physical or emotional level, then perhaps the court will find that the children’s health, safety or welfare would be at risk if left in your ex’s custody. Or perhaps your ex’s new boyfriend/girlfriend has affected your ex’s ability to properly care for the children. Whatever the situation may be, you will need to prove to the court how the children’s health, safety and welfare would be at risk if left in your ex’s physical custody.

Even if your divorce is already final and custody orders are already in place, the California family law court has continuing jurisdiction over custody matters. According to Family Code Section 3022, custody orders are generally modifiable whenever the court finds that a modification is “necessary or proper” in the child’s best interest. If you have a “permanent” custody order then you may be required to show a significant change of circumstances such that custody modification is essential to the children’s welfare. In any case, if your divorce is already over and custody orders are already in place, then one possible solution is ask the Court to modify the current custody orders to give your ex-spouse less time with the children.
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There are a plethora of differences between one state’s divorce laws and another state’s. Whether one state is better for your divorce versus another is typically a subjective opinion based on whether your specific situation would benefit from community property laws for division of assets, whether you prefer the court to be biased with regard to favoring the mother in a custody battle, etc. However, on a more objective scale, one state may be more preferable for divorce than another state simply based on how expensive and time-consuming the process is and the requirements for filing or actually getting divorced. According to Bloomberg Rankings, the following are the top 5 worst states to get a divorce in based on the state’s court filing fees, minimum time required to complete the divorce process, residency requirements, minimum separation periods before filing and other mandatory waiting periods.

5th worst: California
Unfortunately, California is ranked as the fifth worst state for a divorce. The filing fee just to get the process started is $435, which is one of the highest in the country. In order to file for divorce there is a six month residency requirement. Additionally, California is the only state that requires a six month mandatory cooling off period after filing for divorce, meaning that even if you have resolved your divorce in less than six months, the court will not restore your status to a single person until the six month waiting period expires.

4th worst: Arkansas
Arkansas also made the top 5 for the worst states to get divorced in. Although the filing fee is only $165, the state has a minimum processing time of 540 days, which is the longest in the country. The reason for this lengthy processing time is because there is an 18 month mandatory period of separation, in which living together is prohibited, before the court will grant a divorce.

3rd worst: South Carolina
Apparently, the 3rd worst state to get divorced in is South Carolina because the state requires that couples be separated for an entire year before even being able to file for divorce. The couple must also live apart during that one year separation period. Additionally, the state has a three month residency requirement if both parties are residents of the state, resulting in a minimum processing time of 450 days. If only one party lives in South Carolina, then the residency requirement is one whole year.

2nd worst: Rhode Island
Rhode Island is also near the top of the list for worst states to get divorced in. Although it has a reasonable filing fee of only $120, Rhode Island has the second-longest wait to get a divorce with a minimum processing time of 510 days.

And the Worst State to get Divorced in is: Vermont
According to Bloomberg Rankings, the worst state to get divorced in is Vermont. Married couples filing for a no fault divorce must live apart from each other for at least six months. Also there is a one year residency requirement before a divorce will be granted. But before the judge actually approves the divorce and it becomes finalized, there is an additional three month waiting period that must expire.New Hampshire: Easiest State to Obtain a Divorce
Unlike the above states, which have the most expensive filing fees, most extensive waiting periods and the most stringent residency and minimum separation period requirements, Bloomberg Rankings rates New Hampshire as the easiest state for a divorce. Perhaps this is because in New Hampshire there is no minimum processing time or minimum residency requirement, which makes the process for getting a divorce much faster. So couples in Vermont should consider going “next door” to New Hampshire for their divorce!
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Family law is the most personal and emotional area of law for the litigants. Family law issues penetrate your finances, your time with your children, and even your home. It is sometimes difficult for divorcing spouses to be completely open and honest with their divorce attorneys from the onset of the case. This is understandable considering that the client probably spent hours during the initial consultation and retaining process being probed with very personal questions by a stranger. It is imperative to resist the urge to hold back information from your attorney during the beginning of your case. Especially if your case is contentious, all of your “dirty secrets” will be revealed in time and your attorney needs to be prepared to defend you.

Divorce attorneys hear shocking confessions each day and do not sit judging you for your past mistakes. In addition, a confidential relationship exists between attorneys and their clients ensuring that all of the client’s secrets remain private. However, it is much better to divulge all of the information that may be used against you privately to your attorney rather than be questioned about it in open court. Family law attorneys are trained to defuse negative or difficult facts in your case, but your attorney cannot do that if he or she does not know all of the pertinent information.

It is helpful to consider the following questions during the initial phase of your divorce case:
1. What is the worst thing your spouse might present to the court about you, even if this is not true?
2. Are there any friends or family members that would be willing to testify against you?
3. Have you been convicted of a crime?
4. Do you have any mental or physical health issues?
5. Have you previously been represented by another lawyer in your divorce case?
6. Have you had past involvement with a child protection agency such as child welfare services?
7. Do you have any other children that are not a result of your current marriage? If so, are you supporting those children? If so, are you caring for those children?
8. Do you have a history of substance abuse?
In addition to considering the above questions, also feel free to tell your attorney any information which might be uniquely important to your individual case.
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Family law is such an emotional and unpredictable area of law. Because of the various personal, economical, and emotional factors that are involved in divorce cases, it is difficult to pin down the “right” path for each family. If a divorce case proceeds to trial and a judge ultimately decides the outcome of a case, there is a clear “right” and “wrong” analysis for the issues before the court. It is a judge’s job to hear all of the facts and evidence presented and then to apply the law as directed by the family code and case law precedent. But what if the parties want to reach an agreement for an outcome that would not be obtained in court? Is it “wrong” for the parties to enter into agreements that are outside the scope of potential outcomes in the courtroom?

Many California divorce lawyers use what a court might do in a particular case as the measuring stick for settlement negotiations. Some attorneys highly discourage their clients from entering into agreements which are outside of the norm. However, courts will apply the family code and case law which only amount to “default” rules. Just as if the parties’ entered into a premarital agreement (commonly referred to as a “prenup”), divorcing parties can decide to avoid the default rules and opt for a different agreement. At Bickford Blado & Botros, we encourage our clients to come up with creative solutions to their divorce case in order to avoid trial.The default code sections and case law are not for everyone. It is impossible to structure a “one size fits all” solution for divorces. Sometimes parties do not believe that the law applied to their case generates a “fair” outcome. For example, the parties may think it is fair to divide their assets equally after a long term marriage without consideration for separate property rights of reimbursement. However, although settlement is encouraged by both attorneys and judges, it is important to ensure both parties are adequately informed regarding their legal rights before they sign off on any agreement.

In order to appropriately weigh the costs and benefits of settlement versus litigation, both parties should sit down with their respective attorneys and discuss their legal rights and likely outcomes at trial. Both parties should also carefully consider the potential emotional and financial cost of litigation.
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An MSC is the shorthand term for a Mandatory Settlement Conference in family law cases. In essence, an MSC is a procedure by which the parties can meet to attempt to settle their case before heading to trial. According to the San Diego Superior Court Local Rule 5.2.8, divorcing litigants are actually required to attend an MSC before the court will give them a trial date.

Both parties and their counsel, if they have counsel, must be present at the MSC. A family law attorney will be appointed by the court to act as a temporary judge and assist the parties and their respective counsel with attempting to reach a settlement at the MSC. If the parties reach a settlement, then the terms of their settlement will be written down and all parties will sign the necessary paperwork to finalize their judgment. If a complete settlement is not reached, then the court will assign a trial date for the parties and their counsel to come back to court and litigate the contested issues.

Prior to the MSC, you or your attorney will need to prepare a settlement conference brief, which must state your proposal for resolution of each contested issue and the reasons for each proposed resolution. This settlement conference brief must be served to your spouse/your spouse’s attorney and the settlement judge no later than 4 p.m. three court days before the MSC date. The purpose of the brief is to help the settlement judge become familiar with your case and your position on each of the issues. In addition to preparing and serving the settlement conference brief, your attorneys are required to “meet and confer” either in person or over the phone at least five court days before the MSC. The goal is to identify the open issues and attempt to resolve as many of them as possible prior to the MSC. The results of the discussion must be included in your settlement conference brief.The process of an MSC may sound similar to that of a mediation. However, an MSC differs in that it takes place in the courthouse rather than at an attorney’s or mediator’s office, it is conducted by a judge/temporary judge, and the parties do not have to pay a mediator’s fee. Also, MSCs are typically much shorter in time than mediation. Consequently, MSCs usually don’t result in settlements as often as mediations do. However, both MSCs and mediations are a voluntary process, meaning that the case will only settle if both parties are willing to compromise. The MSC judge will not make a binding decision about your case, like he/she will at trial.
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Not all divorces are alike. Particularly, divorces involving spouses who have a special needs child will have specific considerations that should be addressed during the divorce process. Some key issues that need to be considered during a divorce proceeding in regard to a special needs child include the following:

1. Physical Custody
In California, the courts award custody based on what is in the best interest of the child. However, one consideration is that the “cookie cutter” parenting plan for a typical child will likely not work for a child with special needs. Special needs children, such as children with autism, often have difficulty with transitions because they are not comfortable with changes in environment. In addition, a special needs child may not understand the concept of time like a typical child would. The goal should be to design a parenting schedule that prioritizes the child’s unique medical, physical and mental needs.

2. Legal Custody
Legal custody is about which parent will make the decisions with regard to the child’s health, education and welfare. In the case of a special needs child, it is very important that the parents advocate in unison with regard to matters involving the child’s placement, services and therapies. Special needs children typically have a team consisting of doctors, therapists, school personnel and childcare providers. If the parents are unable to work together with the team to make these decisions, then the court should be requested to decide which parent should be the one to have such decision making authority.3. Child Support
When litigating your divorce case, it is important to educate the judge as to the unique requirements of a special needs child. You may want to request that the court consider unique un-reimbursed expenses that relate to caring for a special needs child. Although the Court uses a formula to calculate child support, that amount may be adjusted for cases in which the children have special medical or other needs that require child support to be greater than the formula amount. The Court may consider a wide range of add-on expenses such as various therapies, special schools, medication, which the special needs child require to facilitate his or her progression. Another consideration to keep in mind is that child support may even extend beyond age 18 in certain circumstances.

4. Medical Insurance/Life Insurance
Families with a special needs child typically spend thousands of dollars each year in uninsured medical expenses. Consequently, it is important that divorcing parents address the topic of medical expenses (including health insurance premiums and uninsured medical expenses). Also, in some states, such as California, the court may order a parent to secure his/her child support obligation through a life insurance policy.
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Okay, so it might sound a little crazy to think that you can celebrate a divorce. But why not?! You’ve spent the past months or possibly years either settling or litigating your case so you deserve a celebration! Just make sure your divorce is actually final before you begin the celebration festivities.

One way to celebrate the newly single you is by taking time away and going on a “divorcation”. Whether it’s a trip with your best girlfriends or an adventurous getaway by yourself, traveling can help free the mind of all of the stress and emotions you have endured throughout the divorce. Spending time in warm weather will also help lift your spirits. And if you’re looking to mingle and meet new people post-divorce, a cruise might be the way to go.Another way to celebrate your divorce is to throw yourself a divorce party. This means inviting all of your friends and family who helped get you through what was arguably the most difficult time in your life and ordering a divorce cake…and yes, many bakeries are quite accustomed to this request.

If the divorce has left you with empty pockets then maybe a “divorcation” or big party isn’t the best choice. Instead, grab your PJ’s, a big bag of popcorn and find a comfy seat on the couch to watch one of the 10 best divorce movies of all time… Irreconcilable Differences, Stepmom, Liar Liar, Kramer v. Kramer, First Wives World, Waiting to Exhale, Mrs. Doubtfire, Jerry Maguire or Along Came Polly.

Celebrating your divorce also requires you to celebrate YOU and your newfound independence. Start by getting a new cell phone number or think about going back to school to get that advanced degree that you always wanted.

However, before you begin planning your divorce celebration, whatever it may be, you need to be sure that your divorce is actually final. In California, your marriage cannot be terminated until at least six months and one day from the date that you or your spouse served the petition for divorce and the court summons or when you/your spouse responded to the petition. However, your divorce does not automatically become final at the end of the six months. But rather, your divorce is final after the judge signs the divorce Judgment. The court clerk will then mail the divorce judgment to each spouse (or their respective attorneys) and the date that the judgment was filed will be stamped in the upper right corner.
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