Articles Posted in San Diego

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San Diego Family Courts can be intimidating for those unfamiliar with appearing before a judge. Whether appearing with a divorce attorney or in “pro per” (an unrepresented party), it is important for family law litigants to be familiar with the “dos” and “don’ts” of San Diego Family Courts. The following is a few tips on how to earn favor with local family law judges when appearing before them.

1. Be Respectful

The most important thing to remember when appearing in court is to be respectful to every individual you encounter, including the opposing party and/or attorney. Judges in a divorce proceeding are not referees and do not want to witness parties arguing or fighting with each other in open court. Therefore, it is imperative to act with civility in the courtroom by giving every person a chance to tell his/her story without interruption or argument.

Another way to respect the court and legal process is to avoid the use of cell phones and other electronic devices in the courtroom. Judges say that cell phones on vibrate are just as distracting as a cell phone ringing. So it is best to put your cell phone on silent, or better yet, turn it completely off when entering the courtroom. Further, texting in court is not advisable.

2. What to Wear and What Not to Wear

Wearing the appropriate clothing to court does not go unnoticed by the local family judges. When appearing in court, it is not necessary to wear a full suit or dress outside of your comfort zone. However, judges appreciate when parties are not distracting with their clothing and they dress modestly. Dressing conservatively is also another way to show respect to the court.

3. Facial Expressions, Commentary and Body Language

In San Diego Family Law courtrooms, the judges sit at a particularly advantageous vantage point and can see everyone’s behavior at all times. Judges are always watching the litigants, the attorneys, and even all of the people sitting in the audience. According to family law judges, it is incredibly distracting if any person makes facial expressions, nods, shakes his/her head, raises his/her hand, and otherwise takes attention from the proceeding. Remaining still and attentive in a family law hearing may be easier said than done. It is often difficult for parties to remain calm if the opposing attorney or litigant is telling the judge information the party does not want public or does not believe to be accurate. However, in such circumstances, waiting patiently for your turn is greatly appreciated by the judge.

In all situations local family law attorneys should lead by example and demonstrate civil and appropriate behavior for litigants in court. If you have a question regarding courtroom decorum, please ask an experienced family law attorney.

Learn more about the divorce attorneys at Bickford Blado & Botros
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Often when non-lawyers imagine going to court they picture themselves being represented by a knowledgeable and experienced attorney. The courtroom and legal system can be intimidating to those unfamiliar with the process because of the immense amount of specific procedures and rules that must be followed. However, despite their inexperience in the legal field, many California spouses are self-represented in their divorce. When a party to a divorce action is not represented by an attorney he or she will be considered “pro per”.

San Diego spouses decide not to retain attorneys in divorce actions for a variety of reasons. One of the most prevalent reasons is the cost. Family law attorneys in San Diego typically charge between $175.00 and $450.00 per hour depending on the experience level of the attorney. Depending on the particular case and the work involved, a spouse’s attorney fee bill can potentially cost tens of thousands of dollars. In order to avoid that cost, many litigants utilize free legal resources available throughout the San Diego community. Unlike in criminal law, family law parties are not entitled to representation. Therefore, there is no “public defender” equivalent in the family law system.

Learn more about jurisdiction and divorce in California

In order to reduce the cost of getting divorced, if the parties are splitting amicably, some divorcing couples will elect to have one spouse hire an attorney to handle all of the formalities. In this type of case, only one of the spouses is represented by the divorce attorney. The attorney will only owe professional duties to their client, not the other spouse. If the parties are in agreement regarding all issues, the attorney can prepare all of the paperwork for an uncontested divorce while the spouses only incurs one set of legal fees.

Another alternative often utilized by San Diego family law litigants is limited scope representation. Spouses can retain an attorney to review work they have done alone on their case. Additionally, parties can hire an attorney to represent them in an important hearing or for one or two issues in the case. If you cannot afford full representation and are worried about the custody and visitation or property issues in your divorce, you may be able to find a divorce attorney willing to handle those limited issues.

Read more about limited scope issues in divorce

Despite the cost of legal representation, it is important to consider what is at stake in a family law case and whether it is worth the risk of self-representation. The consequences of making a mistake in a family law proceeding can be devastating and may persist long-term. Also, it may be prudent to consider the time and effort that is often required in a family law case and whether you will have the ability to miss days of work for court hearings and devote hours to preparation. If you are unsure about whether you want to handle your divorce alone, contact a San Diego family law attorney for a consultation to find out more information.

www.BickfordLaw.com


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In a San Diego divorce, a party’s date of separation is the first date when either party subjectively (mentally) decided the marriage was over, finished, and not salvageable. The parties’ overt actions usually demonstrate that subjective frame of mind. For instance, there can’t be ongoing marriage counseling to save the marriage after the date of separation. The date of separation of the parties to a divorce can be a hotly contested issue. Sometimes, when parties do not agree on the date that they separated, the court must step in to help.

In fact, it is quite common for divorcing spouses to disagree about when their date of separation is. These disagreements are usually financially motivated since California is a community property state. This means that in California, community property rights only accrue from the date of marriage until the date of separation. Thus, the date of separation can significantly affect the size of the divisible community estate during a divorce. Some legal, financial, and other practical considerations for the parties to keep in mind when considering divorce and arriving at a date of separation (by way of agreement or decided by the Court) include the following:

  • Stock options: Divorce attorneys will advise their clients that a later date of separation will usually give the community more interest in a stock option.
  • Post-separation bonuses: A later date of separation will give the community a greater interest in a post-separation bonus upon divorce.
  • Pensions: A later date of separation in a divorce will give the community more interest in a pension.
  • Spousal support: A later date of separation from your spouse may provide for more spousal support. The duration of the marriage is one of the twelve factors a California court will weigh in determining the amount and duration of permanent spousal support.
  • Value of a business: A later date of separation in a San Diego divorce will value a sole practitioner’s business at a later date.
  • Pereira or Van Kamp considerations: If the separate property business was brought into the marriage, the community’s interest would stop growing at the date of separation.

The implications of the date of separation in a divorce can be quite significant. With the above considerations in mind, if for example Husband is the primary breadwinner and Wife is a stay-at-home mom, Wife may want to establish a later date of separation in order to maximize the community estate. Husband, on the other hand, may want to establish an earlier date of separation for the divorce so that his income, bonuses, commissions, etc. earned after the date of separation will be characterized as his separate property instead of community property. Clearly, selecting the date of separation can be a complicated matter that may require the advice of an experienced divorce attorney.

www.BickfordLaw.com


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Spousal support is an issue commonly litigated in a divorce in San Diego. Carol Abar filed for divorce after sixteen years of marriage, when she learned that her husband had sexually assaulted her daughter. In a hearing on spousal support (commonly referred to as alimony in San Diego), a California family court ordered Ms. Abar to pay $1,300 per month in support to her daughter’s abuser. Although Ms. Abar presented evidence to the court that her husband molested her daughter for years, the court determined that an award of spousal support was appropriate in the divorce case based on the parties’ relative income.

In 2012, Ms. Abar’s ex-husband, Ed Abar, plead guilty to the rape of her daughter and was sentenced to approximately one year in jail. At that time, Ms. Abar had paid about $22,000 in spousal support. While Mr. Abar served his sentence, the family court temporarily stopped payment of support. Recently, Mr. Abar was released and is now requesting $33,000 in arrears. Mr. Abar is also requesting the court to order Ms. Abar to resume support payments.

Learn more about divorce and family support

It is clear that such a spousal support award is an outrageous miscarriage of justice. In order to tighten the gaps in the California Family Code which may allow perpetrators of domestic violence to collect spousal support, Governor Jerry Brown signed more stringent legislation last year. As divorce attorneys in San Diego are aware, if at the end of a case either party has requested spousal support, the court will weigh 14 factors which are listed in Family Code §4320. Upon consideration of these factors, the court will determine how much spousal support to award in a divorce case, if any. Family Court judges were always required to consider documented history of domestic violence between the parties to the divorce, and were also required to consider criminal conviction of an abusive spouse in making a decision. However, the new legislation added a different twist to those old provisions.

Newly enacted Family Code §4324.5 states that “in any dissolution of marriage where there is a criminal conviction for a violent sexual felony…an award of spousal support to the convicted spouse from the injured spouse is prohibited”. This code section applies as long as the divorce is filed within 5 years of the conviction, time served, end of probation or end of parole. Now, a San Diego family court judge will have no discretion to make an award of spousal support in a divorce matter where the supporting spouse was a victim of a violent sexual felony perpetrated by his or her spouse.

Read more about spousal support from the divorce attorneys at the firm

Despite this added layer of protection for spouses, currently there is no family code provision preventing child abusers from receiving spousal support. The family code has evolved since the first support order was made in the Abar divorce case, but it seems that it will not be able to offer Ms. Abar any relief from her obligation to support her ex-husband.

www.BickfordLaw.com


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In San Diego, once parties decide to file for divorce, it is not uncommon for them to be in a rush to just “get it over with”. However, rushing through the divorce process is easier said than done.

One of the most important factors in determining the length of the divorce process is whether the parties and their attorneys decide to take the litigation path, the mediation path, or a combination of both.

The Litigation Path

If the parties and their attorneys determine that they are unable to work cooperatively with the other side and that court intervention is necessary, they must follow the litigation process outlined below. A highly litigated divorce typically proceeds as follows:

Petition
If a Petition has not already been filed, one party must file a Petition and Summons and formally serve these documents on the other side. This process is commonly referred to by San Diego family attorneys as “filing for divorce“. The party who filed the Petition is known as the “Petitioner” and the other party is known as the “Respondent”.

Response
The Respondent must then file a “Response” to the Petition within 30 days of service. Both parties will then begin completing their Preliminary Declarations of Disclosure which includes a Schedule of Assets and Debts and an Income and Expense Declaration. Within these documents, the parties will explain their income and their monthly expenses in addition to identifying all community property assets and obligations.

Motions
Next, the parties can file various motions requesting relief such as temporary child or spousal support, temporary child custody and visitation orders and attorney fees. The timeline for all motions to be heard ranges from an average of 30 days to a year depending on the number of motions, complexity of issues and requests for continuances. If custody and visitation is a disputed issue in the case, the parties must attend Family Court Services mediation or another private mediation.

Discovery
The parties may conduct discovery to find out more information regarding disputed issues. If spousal support is disputed, the parties may investigate issues such as income and assets. If any disputes arise during the discovery process, the parties may file Motions to Compel with the Court to enforce their rights. Should the parties have complex assets or income which is difficult to ascertain, one or both parties may elect to hire experts to weigh in on these issues.

Mandatory Settlement Conference
In San Diego, before the case proceeds to trial, the parties must attend a Mandatory Settlement Conference. This is a meeting between all parties, attorneys, and an independent experienced local family law attorney. If the parties do not reach an agreement, the case may proceed to trial. At trial, both parties present their side of the story with regard to disputed issues. The judge will make a ruling and determine the outcome of all disputed issues.

It is evident from the above timeline that a litigated divorce takes a significant amount of time, money and effort. Even with the assistance of counsel, many divorcing spouses who litigate a large amount of issues call their divorce a “full time job”. In our next blog post, the divorce attorneys at the firm will post about “The Mediation Path”. Stay tuned!

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Sharing Custody of Children During Religious Holidays

As previously blogged about in “Part I: Religion and Child Custody,” a common issue in divorce revolves around which religion a child will follow after parents separate. Another common issue recognized by divorce attorneys is how to fairly share custody of children during religious holidays. The recent passing of the Easter holiday likely posed a special concern for divorcing parents with children. In our previous post, we discussed parents with sole legal custody.

Read more about custody and divorce in Del MarJoint legal custody presents divorce attorneys with unique issues. If both parents share joint legal custody, and one parent objects to the other parent’s decisions regarding the child’s religion, a judge will have to determine whether the child can be raised as a Catholic, Buddhist, Jewish, etc. The courts will generally first consider the religion that the child was raised in while the parents were still married and order that the child continue to be raised in that same religion.

Since the right to raise a child as the parent sees fit and the right to freedom of religion are both protected by the Constitution, courts must be careful not to infringe on these constitutional rights while still protecting the best interests of the child.

Joint physical custody means that both parents share in the right to spend time with the child or children. Despite custody agreements, problems always seem to arise with regards to holidays, especially when each parent has his/her own religious beliefs and traditions. Holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are usually easy to compromise, because they have alternative days to give each parent equivalent time. However, the same cannot be said for religious holidays such as Easter. Easter does not have an alternative celebration date. Divorce lawyers must consider their client’s faiths when providing legal advice.

In order to deal with this problem, many divorce attorneys will advise their clients to agree to alternate custody between holidays each year, such as Easter and Thanksgiving. However, for some parents who are particularly religious or have long-lived family traditions, they do not consider the Easter holiday to be equivalent to the Thanksgiving holiday. Thus, shared custody on holidays needs to be determined well ahead of time and with the children’s best interests in mind.

Children With Parents of Different Faiths

Another problem arises where divorcing parents are of differing faiths. For example, where one parent is Christian and the other is Jewish, the Easter and Passover holidays usually pose a concern regarding child custody because the holidays often fall near each other on a calendar. Sometime these two holidays will even occur on the very same day. Therefore, it is extremely important that these situations are discussed early on, and that divorce lawyers draft custody agreements that spell-out exactly what will happen with regards to custody to the greatest extent possible.

www.BickfordLaw.com
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Which Religion do Children Follow when Parents of Different Faiths Divorce?

With the recent passing of Easter, a Christian holiday, and Pesach (Passover), a Jewish holiday, parents of different faiths may be left wondering which holiday their child will celebrate after a divorce. Because divorcing parents don’t always agree on whose religion the children will follow after divorce, the Court is often left to make a determination as to which religion the children will practice, if any.The Fourteenth Amendment substantive due process clause grants parents a liberty interest in directing their child’s religious upbringing. Therefore, Courts must protect each parent’s Constitutional right to raise the child as that parent sees fit (as long as the welfare of the child is not endangered). However, when parents divorce, the Courts are often left to decide which parent’s constitutional right will prevail in determining the religion of their child. Family law attorneys take a number of factors into consideration when advising clients about their options in regards to their children’s religious upbringing.

Child Decides

Often times the Court will simply allow the child to decide which religion, if any, to follow because it is merely an exercise of the child’s First Amendment right to freedom of religion. Unfortunately for divorce lawyers, no black letter law exists regarding what age a child must be to decide his or her own religion. However, courts generally consider children over 12 to be able to make decisions about their religious preferences.

By allowing the child to determine his/her own religious preference, the courts are not encroaching upon the parents’ Constitutional rights. The parents may continue to practice the religion of their choice, and they have already had the opportunity to exercise their Fourteenth Amendment substantive due process liberty interest to direct their child’s upbringing.

Parent With Sole Legal Custody

When a child is not deemed fit to decide for himself/herself, divorce attorneys note that the court will look to which parent has been awarded legal custody. As discussed in previous blogs, legal custody gives a parent the right to make decisions regarding a child’s health, education, welfare and even religious decisions. If a parent has been awarded sole legal custody of the child, then that parent alone can make all the decisions regarding the child’s religious preference and activities without getting the consent of the other parent or an order from the court.

Parents with Joint Legal Custody

Tomorrow, in “Part II: Religion and Child Custody”, we will discuss the issues presented to divorce attorneys by parents who share joint legal custody of their children. Continue reading

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For many Del Mar families, real estate is their most valuable asset. Because the prices of the average family home are so high, many families must invest significant funds into real estate just to live in the area.

However, upon divorce, all community property must be divided equally by the court.

If the parties have no other assets as valuable as the family home, it must be sold and the proceeds divided.

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Peter Robbins, voice of the beloved Peanuts character Charlie Brown, was arrested on Sunday, January 20th, on charges of making criminal threats and stalking. Robbins was the voice of Charlie Brown in both “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “It’s a Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” television specials.

ABCNews.com reported that, while the details of the arrest warrant were not immediately available, the charges related to Robbins stalking his ex-girlfriend and making criminal threats against a plastic surgeon.

nbcsandiego.com reported that it all started with a breast enhancement performed on Robbins’ former girlfriend, Shawna Kern, by La Jolla plastic surgeon Lori Saltz. Apparently Robbins and Kern were a couple at the time the procedure was performed, but broke up sometime thereafter. After the couple split, Robbins allegedly demanded his money back from Saltz, stalking her and threatening her life if she did not refund the money.

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There many paths to ending a marriage in San Diego – including settlement, trial, uncontested divorce and simplified divorce. Many couples struggle for months and even years to work out the complex issues involved in divorce such as property division, support, and custody and visitation. Dutch entrepreneur, Jim Halfens, created a new method of divorce used in the Netherlands called the “Divorce Hotel”. Using this method, a couple checks into the Divorce Hotel on a Friday, and with the help of family law attorneys and mediators, checks out on Sunday with divorce papers in hand. Instead of the typical hourly rate, the couple pays a flat fee for their stay in the Divorce Hotel.After experiencing great success in the Netherlands, Halfens is attempting to bring his novel concept to the United States, which is known for its extraordinary divorce rate. Halfens is not only negotiating with hotels and local family law attorneys, but also with television production companies. Halfens is attempting to start a new reality show which follows the couples through their stay at the Divorce Hotel. Many prominent divorce lawyers have expressed serious doubts about the practicality of Halfens’ concept. These attorneys are concerned that most divorces are too complex and/or acrimonious to be completed in a single weekend. U.S. divorce attorneys do agree that the concept may be successful in cases where the divorcing couple remains on friendly terms and has a relatively straightforward marital estate to divide.

Read more about uncontested divorce here

Many obstacles can prevent the Divorce Hotel method from succeeding. A divorce proceeding can be dragged out because spouses often hide money, undervalue assets, and perpetrate fraud. Discovering these inconsistencies and seeking out the truth regarding the marital estate takes time, money, and a lot of effort by experienced family law attorneys. This work can skyrocket the cost of a divorce by increasing costs, fees, and may even require hiring an expensive expert. In order to combat this reality, Halfens screens the couples that apply to stay at the Divorce Hotel. His team tries to weed out its applicants and only admit those who are willing to mediate and work together to reach a solution. Couples who bicker or barely speak to each other are rejected.

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