Articles Posted in San Diego

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In most states, the right to a jury trial in a divorce proceeding does not exist. In California, no such right exists. Rather, all divorces in California will be heard solely by the Judge, not a jury. However, in a limited number of states, including Texas and Georgia, whether you are the spouse who filed for divorce or the spouse who received a divorce petition, you have the option to request a jury trial during your divorce proceeding. Most of these states limit the right for a jury to only decide certain issues. In New York, for example, the circumstances are very narrow; a jury is only allowed to decide whether the parties meet the state criteria for divorce.

Texas offers the jury trial rights most broadly. In Texas, the jury consists of 12 jurors who may decide a number of issues. However, certain issues are still reserved for the Judge to decide. For example, the jurors in Texas can decide the issue of child custody, but the Judge will be the one to decide visitation and child support. Jurors in Texas can also determine the value of the assets, and determine which assets are considered separate property versus community property. However, the Judge will be the one to actually determine the division of such assets.

Offering the option of a jury trial in divorce proceedings is a hot topic of dispute. Supporters of offering a jury trial argue that it helps to ensure fairness by thwarting the Judge’s potential bias. Many also support jury trials because they believe that it gives litigants more of an opportunity to tell their side of the story. Another benefit of offering the option of a jury trial in a divorce proceeding is that it encourages parties to try and settle outside of court, since a jury trial is a risk for both sides no matter what the facts of the case are.However, many oppose the idea of a jury trial in a divorce because they aren’t keen on the idea of having the details of their private lives displayed before a dozen strangers. Additionally, divorce proceedings are expensive enough. Adding the option for a jury trial is likely to cause the divorce proceeding to be even more time consuming and expensive Continue reading

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At the heart of any divorce proceeding involving minor children should be the consideration of what is in the child’s best interest. In high conflict cases, where the divorcing parents cannot come to a mutual agreement regarding the custody arrangement for their child or children, the court will need to get involved to determine the appropriate allocation of physical contact and decision making authority that each parent will have with the child. Often times, in order for the Judge to determine what is in the best interests of the child, he or she will need to order a Child Custody Evaluation.

In California, a Child Custody Evaluation is also often referred to as a “730 Evaluation” because California Evidence Code Section 730 permits the court to appoint one or more experts to investigate, render a report and testify as an expert in order to help the Judge determine what is in the best interest of the child. This type of forensic evaluation is much more extensive and formal than just a court-ordered custody investigation. Specifically, if there are concerns about mental health issues, child abuse, substance abuse, parenting practices that may have a negative impact on the child, move away cases, etc. a 730 Evaluation will likely be needed in order to get a thorough, objective and competent analysis of the parents and an assessment of what is in the best interests of the children.Qualified examiners include Marriage and Family Therapists, Licensed Clinical Social Workers, Psychiatrists and Psychologists. In California, the Judge typically selects the evaluator from an approved panel or a list submitted by the parties (so long as the recommended evaluator meets the list of criteria required). The evaluator will be required to act as a professional expert and must act as a neutral throughout the evaluation. 730 evaluations typically involve observations, review of documents and medical records, clinical interviews with the parents and children, and psychological assessments. Any formal psychological testing, however, must be completed by a trained psychologist. It usually takes at least three months to complete all of the necessary evaluations and to draft a detailed written report.

Since the Judge does not know the family personally, he or she will typically depend on the opinion of the expert to understand the parties and their nature of interaction with the child. Ultimately, the main focus of the Judge is to uncover what is the best interest of the child. Therefore, a 730 evaluation usually includes a written recommendation for what the evaluator believes, based on his or her expert opinion, is in the best interests of the child. While the evaluator does offer his or her input, the Judge is the one who ultimately makes the decision regarding child custody. But, the evaluator’s recommendation is usually taken very seriously by the court who may give significant weight to the evaluator’s recommendation. The evaluator may also be brought into court to further explain or defend his or her recommendations. In some situations the evaluator may even be ordered to conduct further studies of the issue at hand. In any case, 730 evaluations can play a big role in high conflict custody cases.
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When you think of sperm donor, you typically think of someone whose involvement in the child’s life doesn’t extend beyond the act of assisting in the child’s conception. This is usually the case for sperm donors as they typically waive all parental rights during the process. However, sperm donor William Moratto recently got pulled into a child support case and a Judge in Topeka, Kansas actually ended up ordering him to pay child support for the child, now 4 years old, that he helped to bring into this world!

Marotta had responded to a Craigslist ad from a couple requesting a “private” sperm donor. The artificial insemination process did not involve a licensed physician but the couple did present Marotta with a sperm donor contract, which Moratto believed was a valid agreement indicating his intention to cease any parental role following the donation. Little did Marotta know that his donation would later cause him be on the hook for thousands of dollars of child support.Marotta argued that he was only a sperm donor and not a “parent” for purposes of barring his liability for child support. Unfortunately, the Judge found that Marotta’s claim of being just a sperm donor was nullified because the state’s statute specifically requires the donation to be made to a licensed physician if the donor wants to be treated as if he were not the birth father. Thus, the Kansas statutory bar to paternity could not be applied to Marotta as a defense against being subject to the rights and responsibilities of parenthood, including potential liability for child support. Would the same hold true in California? Like Kansas law, California Family Code Section 7613 also offers a statutory basis disqualifying a sperm donor from being subject to a child support obligation for the child he helped conceive. The California statute provides that “[t]he donor of semen provided to a licensed physician and surgeon or to a licensed sperm bank for use in assisted reproduction of a woman other than the donor’s spouse is treated in law as if he were not the natural parent of a child thereby conceived, unless otherwise agreed to in a writing signed by the donor and the woman prior to the conception of the child.”

The Court further ruled that Marotta did not properly waive his rights as a parent despite the written agreement that he signed with the couple at the time of the donation. The Court reasoned that a parent cannot terminate parental rights by contract. Rather a termination of parental rights can only occur in one of three ways: 1) adjudication of child in need of care, 2) relinquishment and adoption or 3) a judicial finding that the parent is unfit to act as a parent. For information regarding when a parent in California is able to voluntarily terminate his/her parental rights, please see our webpage titled “Termination of Parental Rights”.
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In San Diego family law cases “four-way” meetings are commonly used to settle divorce cases. A four-way meeting (commonly referred to as “four-way”) in a divorce action is a face-to-face meeting between the two parties and their respective attorneys. Four-ways are notoriously dreaded by family law litigants because the litigants will be required to sit in a room with their spouse and discuss the “tough issues” which have created an impasse to settlement. Family law attorneys also conduct “five-way” meetings and invite a financial expert (or any other type of expert) to weigh in on the discussion. In preparation for an important four-way there are many things a litigant can do to help the process move along smoothly.

Meet with your Attorney Beforehand: Experienced family law attorneys make it a habit to meet with their clients before any four-way. This meeting provides the client with an opportunity to discuss his or her concerns, goals, and fears with the attorney. In turn, the attorney can provide clarification if needed and ensure the client’s interests are protected and validated. The “pre-meeting” is also a good time to discuss communication preferences and for the attorney to find out if the client expects to communicate on behalf of him/herself or would rather take a “back seat” to the conversation.

Focus on your Goals: During a four-way when the litigants are sitting face-to-face, it is often tempting for one or both parties to be critical, accusatory, or sarcastic. These types of comments can often derail otherwise good progress and deter settlement. Try to focus on the “bigger picture” during the four-way and save any pent up feelings of anger and resentment for another day. It is much easier to convince the other side that what you want is best for him or her as well.

Listen with an Open Mind: Generally attorneys decide to hold a four-way because the parties have reached some impasse in negotiations which the attorneys believe can be resolved. If both you are stuck in the mud on your relative positions then neither of you are working toward a mutually beneficial resolution. Further, it is unlikely that if the issue proceeds to court, either of you will get exactly what you are asking for. This is because courts are generally limited to fixed solutions they can provide. A four-way meeting provides the attorneys and clients a chance to consider alternative solutions and avoid the court system altogether. Many issues litigated in family law cases are much too personal and important to just hand over to a stranger to decide. Certainty and peace of mind are often more valuable than the issue the parties are fighting over.
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Word is out that actress Hilary Duff and ex-hockey player Mike Comrie have separated and are on the road to a divorce. The couple married in August 2010 and Duff gave birth to their son, Luca, in March 2012. According to TMZ, the couple has mutually agreed upon having an amicable separation and they intend to share joint custody of their son. They even plan on remaining best friends after the divorce.

So often we hear of couples who have just decided to separate or divorce and they are full of feeling of anger, resentment, and shock. But cases like Duff and Comrie who actually seem to be quite pleasant as they separate make you wonder if they did something different from the start. Perhaps the way they informed each other of their desire for a separation/divorce was done in a manner to minimize those heightened emotions that we so often hear about.

The way you break the news to your spouse about your impending separation or divorce can really play a part in laying the foundation for how your divorce will play out. Most people remember the precise details about how his or her spouse broke the news that he or she wanted a divorce. Those parting words will inevitably be extremely difficult but there are certain approaches that may lead to a better parting for both parties.Choose the Right Words: Choosing your words carefully will help to increase the amount of conversation that you provoke from your spouse and decrease the amount of shock that he or she will inevitably experience. Perhaps you are just pondering the thought of divorce, or you are interested in a trial separation. Or maybe you have made up your mind that you want a divorce. Whichever path you have chosen to take, it is important to be clear with your spouse by clearly specifying the degree of finality that you want. For instance, if you are not completely set of the idea of divorce and still just pondering the possibility, you probably don’t want to come out and say to your spouse, “I want a divorce!” Rather, you could approach your spouse by explaining that your relationship doesn’t seem to be improving and inquire what he/she thinks about a separation. This will allow your spouse the opportunity to engage in a conversation with you rather than feeling completely and utterly shocked and merely focused on the word “divorce.”

On the other hand, if you are certain that a divorce is what you want or need, you might want to approach the conversation in a more gentle manner and in the right time and place as to avoid or at least reduce a sudden fury. Your spouse will probably already be devastated at hearing the words “I want a divorce,” so deliberately hurting your spouse’s feelings on top of that and already showing greed about what you want in the divorce will only serve to heighten his/her anger, resentment and urge to be litigious.

Your actions and words will have corresponding reactions. So although a few
words so early on might not seem like a big deal, the choices you make when breaking the news to your spouse that you want a divorce may very well affect your entire divorce process and your life in the future.
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On March 1, 2014, the San Diego Superior Court began offering a “One Day Divorce” option at the San Diego’s Downtown Family Court. This pilot program provides the option for eligible parties to complete their entire divorce is just one short day. Sounds pretty amazing, right?!

The goal of the program is for parties to walk out of the courthouse with their judgment papers in hand. Parties first meet with a family law expert to go over the terms of their proposed divorce settlement or the process for a default judgment. Then the parties will receive hands on assistance with completing any forms necessary to finalize their divorce. If all of the forms are completed, the parties may appear in court that same day to receive their final judgment.

Offering an extremely fast and affordable resolution to the otherwise typically lengthy divorce process is what the “One Day Divorce” program aims to do. This seems like quite the innovative option. But it inevitably comes with some pitfalls. For starters, those impacted by the new program won’t be as widespread as one would think. Rather, eligible parties are limited only to those who have already filed a petition for divorce or separation in San Diego County at least six months ago, are self-represented, have served the summons and petition on the other party, a proof of service of summons or a response has been filed with the Court, and there are no contested issues. In addition, if either spouse has retirement benefits that were earned during marriage, such benefits must be listed on the petition or response in order to be able to complete the judgment. These limitations narrow down the pool of eligible couples dramatically.

On the other hand, the “One Day Divorce” program doesn’t appear to be as limited as the eligibility requirement for a summary dissolution. Unlike summary dissolutions, the “One Day Divorce” program’s parameters are not limited to couples who have been married less than five years, have no children of the marriage, do not have any interest in real estate, do not have debts over a specified amount, do not have community assets over a specified amount, agree to waive spousal support, etc. This means that cases involving long-term marriages, spousal support, custody, high assets, etc. may take part in the program. However, such cases may be quite complex and perhaps a “one day divorce” approach wouldn’t serve the best interests of the parties. Rather, they might be better off with legal representation to ensure equal bargaining power and knowledge between the parties. Also, the appropriate amount of time and expertise to review all aspects of their divorce might be necessary to ensure that the parties fully understand their situation and have sufficient time to received legal advice before settling.

In any event, the success of the “One Day Divorce” program will heavily depend on its execution. For instance, the “family law expert” that will meet with the parties during the One Day Divorce process poses potential concerns. What will this person’s limitations be? Will he/she act as a mediator or give legal advice? Is he/she a licensed and experienced divorce attorney? If the program’s intent is to solely help parties who have reached agreement on every single aspect of their divorce and either don’t have any further questions or are not able to get legal advice at or during the one day process then perhaps the program will indeed have potential for those truly uncontested cases. But, if the family law expert’s role is to give legal advice then that would likely be another story.
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A divorce may be hands down one of the most difficult things a person can go through. Just like the loss of life, a divorce is a loss of a relationship, the loss of stability, and the loss of life as one has known it to be. Consequently, individuals going through a divorce typically experience some or all of what is known as the five stages of grief. These stages include: (1) denial; (2) anger; (3) bargaining; (4) depression; and (5) acceptance.

Denial:
In the denial stage of grief, an individual going through a divorce is typically attempting to deny the reality of their situation and begins to develop a false, preferable reality. Children under the age of 6 years old are typically not affected by their parents experiencing the “denial” stage of grief because they believe that the situation is only temporary. Grade school children may be affected in the sense that they will come up with their own “magical” explanation for what they perceive is going on. Teenagers are affected differently in that they tend to want to act as the caretaker for the parent who is experiencing the denial stage.

Anger:
In the anger stage of grief, an individual going through a divorce recognizes that their sense of denial cannot continue and instead they manifest anger with themselves or with others, especially those who are close to them. Children under the age of 6 years old are significantly affected by their parent(s) experiencing the anger stage because they tend to assume that the anger is directed towards them. Young children especially think that their parents’ issues are their issues too. Grade school children are the most developmentally vulnerable to alienation while their parent(s) are experiencing the anger stage of grief. They tend to form an alignment with one parent. Teenagers are affected in that they tend to identify with the parent who has been wronged in the divorce. Teenagers begin to form their own opinions and may reject the anger by trying to stay away from it.

Bargaining:
In the bargaining stage of grief, an individual going through a divorce typically hopes that they can somehow avoid or undo the cause of the grief. This stage of grief has the most differences in its affect on children, based on their age group. Children under the age of 6 years old are typically aware of who is or is no bargaining. They may find it frightening because they perceive the parent, who they are so dependent on, as being weak. School age children, on the other hand, get excited about bargaining because they tend to believe in the chance of reunification. Teenagers try to act as a mediator. Teenagers also tend to distance themselves from the weaker parent and align with the parent who will provide them with what they want.

Depression:
In the depression stage of grief, an individual going through a divorce begins to understand the certainty of their loss and may become silent and spend much of their time crying and upset. Surprisingly, children under the age of 6 years old are not typically impacted by their parent(s) experiencing depression. Grade school children, however understand it and expect the other parent to “rescue” the depressed parent. Teenagers, on the other hand, perceive their parent’s depression to be dangerous and typically don’t want any part of it.

Acceptance:
In the acceptance stage of grief, an individual going through a divorce begins to come to terms with their loss and typically has a more objective view and stable, calm mindset. Children under the age of 6 years old are positively affected by their parent(s) going through the acceptance stage because they sense the hope and positivity. Teenagers, however, want to get the most of their parents who experiencing this newfound positivity and typically seek minimal supervision.

Although not everyone experiences the five stages of divorce (or experiences them in a different order) it is important to remember that how a parent deals with the divorce can have a direct correlation to how the child deals with the divorce, depending on the child’s age.
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If you are recently divorced or nearing the end of your divorce process, you might want to start by checking off everything on your post-divorce to do list so that you can finally move on and focus on yourself.

Once the divorce is nearing the end, you probably want nothing more than to move on from it and think about anything else. The fact of the matter is that even once the divorce is over you will still have a long list of financial housekeeping items related to the divorce. Below is a list to help you remember some of these items to take of (to the extent they are applicable to your situation) so that you can work towards turning the page and beginning a fresh new start.

1. Remove your husband’s name and UPDATE all of your financial documents, credit cards, utility bills, medical records, employment records, passport, driver’s license, auto, health and homeowners insurance policies, IRS records, Social Security Card, Title to real property and any professional licenses to reflect the following changes in your basic information, to the extent applicable:
a. Name change b. Address change c. “Single” status instead of “Married”
d. New trustee
2. Update your beneficiary designation on all life insurance plans, IRAs, 401(k), mutual fund accounts, bank accounts, brokerage accounts, etc. (if your ex-spouse is your current primary beneficiary and you want someone else to be designated as the beneficiary upon your death).

3. Revise your will: you will likely want to revise your will to take your ex-spouse off and designate others to inherit from you. If you are removing your ex-spouse, who was also designated as your Executor then you will also need to choose a new Executor of your estate.

4. Research health insurance options.

5. Think about changing your “Emergency Contact” where applicable if your ex-spouse is currently listed as your only person to contact in case of an emergency.

6. Obtain a certified copy of your divorce decree: to make many of the changes listed above you might be required to produce a certified copy of your divorce decree. Try to obtain extra copies early on so that you don’t have to delay the process of checking off items on your to do list.

7. Close joint credit cards and open new bank accounts and credit cards in your name so you can start establishing your own credit history.

8. Talk to a Financial Adviser to start planning for your financial future.

The list of things to change and update post-divorce can be overwhelming. The best way to approach your to do list is to take a look at all the documents you were required to produce during your divorce proceeding and then attack it one at a time. Your Schedule of Assets and Debts that was prepared during your divorce should have a comprehensive list of the accounts that you should think about updating.
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The “date of separation” is one of the most important issues to determine at the beginning of any divorce case. The date of separation marks the end of the martial community and represents the termination of the marriage for the purposes of determining the length of the marriage. From the date of separation forward, all earnings and accumulations of both parties are their separate property. In order for the date of separation to occur the following two factors must be present: (1) the parties must be living “separate and apart” and (2) at least one spouse must have the subjective intent (evident through objectively evaluated actions) never to resume the marital relationship. Until recently, many San Diego family law attorneys believed that, in order to live separate and apart, the spouses needed to maintain two separate residences. However, this issue has always been debatable for other divorce attorneys.

On October 25, 2013, the First District Court of Appeal cleared up the “living separate and apart” debate for the family law community. The First District Court of Appeal sustained a trial court’s holding in In re Marriage of Davis which stands for the proposition that it is not necessary for spouses to maintain two separate residences in order to be “separated” for the purposes of determining date of separation. The court opined that factors, other than living in two separate residences could satisfy the “separate and apart” requirement to establish the date of separation. In particular, the court relied on a change in how the parties handled their finances and the fact that Ms. Davis filed for divorce in its conclusion that the parties lived “separate and apart” while still residing under the same roof.

If you believe you have separated from your spouse but are still living in the same residence with him or her, you might consider the actions of the Davis couple in order to establish a case for date of separation. One of the most important considerations in the Davis case was the change in how the parties handled their finances. In Davis, the parties began depositing their individual earnings into separate bank accounts. Each month, the parties would deposit a certain amount of funds into a joint account which would be used to maintain the household expenses. However, each party was responsible to pay for their own personal expenses with their separate funds. In addition to separating their finances, in Davis the parties began to sleep in separate bedrooms and ceased sexual relations.

In general, the Court will look for a shift in the parties’ behavior to determine the date of separation. Therefore, if the parties have always maintained separate bank accounts throughout marriage, the Court will not likely give as much weight to that factor as it did in the Davis case.
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Word leaked recently that former Florida congressman and host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe”, Joe Scarborough, quietly divorced his wife, Susan Waren, back in January 2013. The couple, who actually filed for divorce in September 2012, was married for 12 years and they have two minor children together. Despite going through a divorce, the couple apparently managed to keep their divorce under wraps.

Many clients who are considering divorce or already in the process of a divorce wonder what they should keep to themselves during a divorce so that they can have a “quiet divorce” like Scarborough. Keeping a divorce quiet will ride on what and how much you share with your children, spouse, friends, coworkers, the Court, etc.

Keeping Quiet With Your Children
If you are going through a divorce and you have children then it is important that you consider drawing boundaries for yourself regarding what you share with the children – especially young children. This doesn’t mean that you need to lie or hide things from your children. But rather, information pertaining to the divorce should be rephrased in a manner that won’t be as detrimental to the kids’ well-being. For instance, your children don’t need to know who’s “fault” it is that mommy and daddy are getting divorced or what the details are regarding how your assets will be divided. Rather, your children simply need to know that both during and after the divorce they are safe and will be loved by both parents just the same. When it comes to divulging your divorce to your kids, “less is more” if you don’t particularly want their teachers, classmates, and friend’s parents to know about your private life.

Keeping Quiet With Your Friends, Coworkers, and Spouse
What you discuss with your attorney, both written and oral, is subject to the attorney-client privilege. As the client, you are the holder of the attorney-client privilege and only you can waive that privilege. If you want to keep your divorce quiet and not jeopardize that privilege by publicly disclosing the communication, then don’t be too liberal in the information that your share with your friends, spouse, coworkers, etc.

Keeping Quiet With the Judge
If you feel like you need to talk to someone about your spouse or your divorce at large, the Court might not necessarily be your best outlet. The court only wants to hear evidence that is relevant to the issues at hand, separation of assets and debts or valuation of property for instance, not whose fault it is for the divorce. Rather, you might consider meeting with a counselor so that you are able to get everything off your chest in the right setting.
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