Articles Posted in Divorce

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If you grew up in 1990s, chances are you are familiar with the Beanie Babies fad. However, if you somehow missed out on that craze, Beanie Babies were the extremely popular stuffed animals made by Ty Warner, Inc. (later renamed as Ty Inc.). They were so popular and “valued” that in 1999 a divorcing couple actually went to count to divide up their Beanie Baby collection. No, I am not kidding! Apparently, the couple was unable to figure out how to divide up their Beanie Babies by themselves, without court intervention, so they literally took them all to court and divided them one by one in front of the judge.

While the family law court provides individuals with their “day in court” to allow a judge to make a decision about their case, most people will agree that it seems pretty ridiculous to go to court to have Beanie Babies divided. Even as a family law attorney, I am a big proponent of helping my client resolve as many of their issues outside of court as possible.

Going to court can be very costly for both parties. They are not only paying their attorney’s hourly fee, but there are other costs involved such as paying for a court reporter. Additionally, going to court means that if you are a working individual, you will have to take time off work to attend the hearings. Also, the divorce process will likely take much longer. The courts are extremely backed up and hearings are typically set months out. The longer your divorce goes on, the more anger, resentment and frustration seem to build up. Is it truly worth the time, attorney fees and emotional impact?So many issues can be dealt with outside of a court room. This includes division of your precious collection of Beanie Babies with your soon to be ex-spouse. If the value of your precious items is at issue, then bringing in a third party appraiser might be helpful. Also, when negotiating division of assets outside of court, it is important to carefully consider the item’s current and future value. It may be a huge risk to assume that items, like Beanie Babies, will have a significant future value. If you let your spouse keep a $20,000 vehicle at no charge or offset, in order to keep your beloved collection of Beanie Babies, you might be highly disappointed when years down the road you find out that Beanie Baby is still only worth less than $10. It’s a significant risk when you don’t know the item’s future value, but it’s a risk you might have to take to move the negotiating process forward and stay out of court while proceeding with your divorce.
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Divorcing couples must divide their house, cars, money, furniture, businesses, retirement accounts and everything else they own. Division of property is just one unpleasant but inevitable part of the divorce process. In most cases, the parties own few antiques or family heirlooms, if any at all, and possibly a few other valuable items. However, for those couples with several pieces of art or even an art collection, dividing personal property can be much more complicated.

Many collectors of art are sentimentally connected to specific pieces and do not look at the piece of art the same way they would look at any of their other assets, like a savings account for instance. Consequently, the art collector will be less likely to divide the art in the same manner that he/she is willing to divide the kitchen appliances or family vehicles. Therefore, when dividing art it is important for the divorce attorneys and parties to find a solution that will make everyone as happy as possible.

Before coming up with a solution to divide the art, the parties are advised to make an inventory that details each piece of art that was acquired during their marriage. They should also include, in the same or a separate list, all art acquired prior to the marriage or after the parties’ separation, which will be confirmed as the respective party’s separate property. One way to inventory the art is to create a spreadsheet that lists the name or brief description of the piece of art, the place where the art was purchased, the current location of the art (i.e in the family residence, in a storage unit, displayed in a gallery, etc.), the purchase price and the current value, if known.The value of the art is not necessarily the price that was paid for it. So in order to know the value of the art, the parties might consider hiring an appraiser to come appraise each piece of art. It may seem like just one additional cost to add to the ever growing divorce expense list, but having the art appraised could make a big difference when figuring out how to equitably divide it between the spouses. If the spouses cannot agree on a joint appraiser, then each spouse can hire their own appraiser. However, if the appraisals conflict significantly, it may make negotiations over division of the art a bit more complicated. One way to resolve this issue is for the couple to agree to split the difference between the two conflicting appraisals. If the couple (with the help of their attorneys) is able to figure out a way to divide the art, rather than taking the issue to Court, everyone is more likely to come out happier with the result.
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January has been a busy and exciting month at the Law Offices of Nancy Bickford. After the New Year we hit the ground running and are busy at work filing new divorce petitions and continuing to push forward with settlement discussions and litigation preparation. Perhaps this has been due in part to the first Monday of January being known as “Blue Monday”, which legal experts have more appropriately dubbed as “Divorce Monday”.

Statistics have shown that “Divorce Monday” is the busiest day for divorce lawyers because it is the most popular day for couples to file for divorce. Over the holidays and festive season many couples endure a variety of strains on their marriage. Extra time with in-laws is bound to cause some tension among couples. The over indulgence in alcohol may bring out some couples’ true emotions and anger with one another. And all the gift buying is pretty much a given for financial strain and arguing among married couples. No to mention the extra time spent with your spouse, instead of being away at the office, over the holidays is likely to highlight relationship problems and cause the cracks to start showing.

Despite these strains that many married couples inevitably go through during the holiday season, many people want to wait until after Christmas and the New Year before actually taking that step to file for divorce. This is especially true for those couples who have children because they don’t want to take away from the excitement of the holidays. Thus a flurry of couples decide to wait until that first working Monday after the New Year to seek the help of professionals to dissolve their marriage. Hence why this day is known among lawyers as “Divorce Monday.”

Those who start their divorce proceedings in January have a better chance of being done with their divorce by the end of the year. In California, the divorce process will take a minimum of six months from the date the person filing for divorce officially lets his/her spouse know about the divorce. Of course, it could take much longer if the parties end up litigating issues and are able to reach an amicable settlement. But at least by filing in January, the parties have a better chance of being able to call themselves single at the beginning of the following year if all goes smoothly in the divorce process.
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A name change is one on the top of the “to do” list when a couple first marries. The new bride will decide whether she would like to keep her maiden name, take her husband’s last name or hyphenate the two. Recently, some grooms have also changed their names upon marriage taking their new bride’s name or even hyphenating their names. Although the groom name change is a new trend on the rise, more often than not, the bride will take some form of her new husband’s name instead. Often at the time of divorce, there are many other stressful and pressing factors to consider besides a name change. In addition, depending on the length of the marriage, it may seem like second nature for the wife to continue using her married name without considering a name change.

If you are going through a divorce it is important to consider whether or not you would like to be restored to your former name prior to finalizing your divorce. If you and your spouse have resolved your divorce by agreement, it is easy to check the name change box on the final forms and/or include the appropriate provisions in the settlement documents. If you and your spouse did not reach an out-of-court settlement and proceed with trial, you can request a name change from the judge at the end of your case. After the divorce process is complete, the procedure for a name change is more difficult. If you are considering a name change during the pendency of your divorce, it is important to discuss that issue with your attorney so that he or she can take the proper steps to ensure the change is included in the final divorce paperwork.If you have already changed your name pursuant to your final divorce judgment, there are still additional steps you must take in order to complete the process and avoid future logistical problems. With a new name, you will need to obtain a new social security card. Your social security number will not change, but your name will appear different on your new card. Procedures for requesting a new social security card are outlined on the Social Security Administration‘s official website. A request for a new social security card can be submitted personally at the nearest Social Security Administration office or by mail.

After you obtain a new social security card, you will need to request a new driver’s license from the California Department of Motor Vehicles. Unfortunately, the DMV requires you to appear in person in order to request a new driver’s license under these circumstances. With a new driver’s license and social security card, you can request a new passport, credit cards, debit cards and update all of your information on other financial accounts.
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If you have recently retained an attorney to represent you in your divorce proceeding, chances are that you already have or will soon receive what is known as a “litigation hold letter.” Although you will inevitably receive many other letters and forms at the onset of your divorce proceeding, it is important to pay close attention to this particular letter.

Family law attorneys will typically send their clients a litigation hold letter right after the attorney has been retained by the client. These written directives are also known as “preservation letters” or “stop destruction requests.” In anticipation of potential future litigation, a litigation hold letter or notice is essentially written instructions requiring that you preserve all documents and electronically-stored information (“ESI”) which could be relevant evidence. ESI refers to any information that is created, stored or utilized with computer technology. This includes emails, computer and network activity logs, digital recordings, voice mails, web-enabled cell phones and portable devices, internet files, computer drives, disks, CDs, etc.

Generally, the obligation to preserve evidence begins when a party knows, or reasonably should know, that the evidence is relevant to future or current litigation. In other words, the evidence is reasonably calculated to lead to the discovery of admissible evidence, is reasonably likely to be requested during discovery, or is the subject of a current discovery request from the opposing party. Thus, if not already triggered, receipt of the litigation hold letter will trigger the duty to preserve relevant evidence.The scope of the hold depends on the specific facts of the case and what is likely to be at issue in future litigation. Typically, the hold will apply to all sources of data including emails, calendar entries, cell phones, accounting software, hard drives, thumb drives, contacts and task lists. Most documents today are in digital form, which is why preservation of ESI is particularly important. This does not mean that you have to save every single email or scrap of paper, but you should suspend routine destruction of documents and ESI as it relates to relevant evidence that might be useful to your opposing party. Even if your hard drive or phone breaks, for example, you need to refrain from disposing of it until your attorney says it’s okay.

If you have any questions before you delete anything or throw something away, you should speak with your attorney because there are severe penalties for what the court deems to be the destruction of evidence. You may be exposed to possible liability and sanctions. For instance, the Court may prohibit you from presenting certain evidence yourself, the court may decide issues without any input from you or the court may even make you pay for the recreation of the lost or damaged electronically stored information.
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The term “Legal Separation” and “Dissolution” are distinctly different in that a legal separation does not result in dissolving the marriage itself, while a dissolution of marriage does indeed dissolve the marriage and will return the parties to their single status. There are several reasons why a spouse may want to file a petition for legal separation rather than a petition for dissolution of marriage. Some common reasons are because of the person’s religious background, an interest to maintain certain healthcare benefits, or perhaps because the parties do not qualify to file for divorce because they have not met the residency requirement (there is no residency requirement to file a petition for legal separation in California).

Information about the Divorce Process.

If you initially filed for a legal separation for one of the reasons listed above or for any other reason, but you decide that would prefer a divorce, then you will need to convert your case into one for divorce. In California, you are able to convert your legal separation to a divorce at any point during the legal process, even after your legal separation is final. Either spouse can be the one to request that the legal separation be converted into a dissolution of marriage.If a judgment of legal separation has not yet been obtained (meaning that you have filed your petition for legal separation but the proceedings are still pending) and your spouse has not yet responded to your petition, then so long as the residency requirement is met, you (the Petitioner) can simply file an amended petition and check the box for “Dissolution of Marriage”. Your spouse will need to be served again with the amended Petition. However, if a judgment of legal separation has not yet been obtained but your spouse has already filed his or her Response to your original Petition for Legal Separation, then you may need to request approval from the Court.

If a judgment of legal separation has already been obtained from the court and you later decide that you would prefer a divorce, then you cannot just file an amended petition. Instead, you will need to start over with a new case by filing a petition for dissolution of marriage and pay the filing fee again.

Regardless of the status of the petition for legal separation, either spouse can petition the Court for dissolution of marriage. Because of this, it is typically better to simply petition for dissolution of marriage from the get-go unless both parties agree to the legal separation or a legal separation would benefit one or both parties. Also, it is important to keep in mind that the six month waiting period to be returned to single status does not start ticking until the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage has been served on the Respondent, despite the status of the petition for legal separation.
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It is not uncommon for spouses who have filed for divorce to question their decision to end the marriage multiple times throughout the process. Getting a divorce is life-changing for both spouses. Sometimes, after one or both parties realize the implications of divorce, they begin to reconsider whether their differences are really “irreconcilable”. If you have filed for divorce, but would like to take a step back from the proceeding to reassess your decision, there are a few options to consider.

Reconciliation: If you and your spouse have made the decision to reconcile and no longer wish to pursue a divorce, you may dismiss your divorce petition. Once you dismiss your divorce case your proceeding will end, but neither side will receive a refund of any fees or costs expended pursuing a divorce. This is an important consideration because if the divorce petition is dismissed, but you later decide to re-file for divorce, both parties will have to pay their respective $435.00 filing fees just to file their initial paperwork.

Legal Separation: If you are not ready to obtain a divorce, but also are not interested in reconciliation, you have the option to convert your divorce petition into a petition for legal separation. Through the legal separation process, the parties can obtain similar orders as through the divorce process such as support orders, custody and visitation orders and property division orders. After making a request for legal separation, the court will continue to track your case setting status conferences and encouraging you and your spouse move through the system. If you change your mind later, you also have the option to revert back to the divorce process and terminate your marital status.Suspend the Proceedings: While parties are attempting to decide whether to continue with the divorce or legal separation process, they have the option to suspend the divorce process through agreement. The parties or their attorneys can prepare a stipulation and order that is filed with the court that will put the entire case on hold. Divorce litigants are not be required to fulfill deadlines and make court appearances while their divorce case is suspended. You may also want to suspend the proceedings if you and your spouse have decided to get a divorce, but cannot actively participate in the process. Parties may agree to suspend the divorce process for medical reasons, work-related concerns, or even issues related to their minor children.
If you are trying to navigate the procedural options for your divorce, it is important to consult with an experienced family law attorney to learn the implications of each option.
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The realm of family law, as is the case with pretty much all areas of law, is filled with lots of legal paperwork and legal jargon. Being able to understand and properly fill out the judicial council form is half of the battle for a layperson. These forms can provide you with a lot of information that will be helpful throughout your case. The divorce petition, for example, is one of the first forms filed in a family law action. Even without having a family law attorney to review and explain the form to you, you can easily learn a lot by yourself simply by taking a close look at the Petition from top to bottom.

The Petition (i.e. Form FL-100 on the top right corner) is a one page document (front and back) that you will receive when your spouse has filed for a divorce, separation or annulment. Beginning at the top left of the document, you can note whether your spouse has hired an attorney to represent himself/herself or if he/she is in pro per and intends on proceeding without legal representation. If your spouse has hired an attorney, the attorney’s name, state bar number and address will appear in this box. You can then visit www.calbar.ca.gov to perform an attorney search or you can review various websites to get more information about the attorney that your spouse has hired.

Below the contact information section of the form, it will specify the address of the court. This will tell you where your case will be heard so you know whether you will have to drive to North County San Diego, downtown, East County, etc. to attend your court hearings.

Below your names, there is a box that indicates whether the Petition is for 1) Dissolution of Marriage, 2) Legal Separation or 3) Nullity of Marriage. This lets you know when your spouse actually wants a divorce or if he/she prefers to get a legal separation. If your spouse checked the Nullity of Marriage box then your spouse is contending that your marriage is not legally valid.

Under the section of “Statistical Facts” you can see what date your spouse is claiming is your date of separation. If you disagree, you can claim a different date of separation on your Response form. A family law attorney can help assist you in determining the appropriate date of separation to claim.Under Section 4 and Section 5 of the Petition your spouse should have listed all items that he/she contends are his/her separate property and which items are community property and subject to division by the court.

If your spouse has filed for either a dissolution of marriage or legal separation then he/she can either claim that the reason is because of irreconcilable difference or incurable insanity. This selection will be marked in Section 6 of the Petition. There are several reasons why a person can request a nullity of marriage. If your spouse is filing for nullity of marriage, his/her reasoning will be identified in Section 6 as well.

Section 7 of the Petition will give you an idea of what your spouse is requesting as far as custody of your children, if any, who will pay attorney fees and spousal support, etc. Please note that just because your spouse checks the box, does not mean that the court will order his request. Don’t take these checked boxes at face value and remember that the law may not even support your spouse’s requests.
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Spouses who are served with divorce papers usually fall into one of two categories: completely shocked or not surprised. Whether you expected your spouse to file for divorce or not, receiving divorce papers can be an overwhelming experience. Likely you will served with a large packet of forms, some of which have been completed by your spouse and some of which are blank. In addition to the standard divorce packet filled out by your spouse, you will also receive notices issued by the court. All of this information can be confusing and difficult to process if you are not familiar with family law and procedure.

Once you are served with divorce papers one of the first thing you should decide is whether or not you want to retain an attorney at the onset of your case. An experienced family law attorney can demystify the divorce process and take over a lot of the work that needs to be done. In addition, the attorney will understand what the court requires of family law litigants and can ensure you do not miss deadlines and court appearances. At Bickford Blado & Botros, we offer a variety of services to divorcing parties. You can retain an experienced family law attorney to consult with you and answer your questions throughout the process or you can opt for full legal representation. In addition, we offer attorney-assisted divorce wherein our paralegal will help prepare all of the necessary divorce paperwork.If you decide not to retain an attorney at the beginning of your case, you should begin to familiarize yourself with the courthouse where your case has been assigned and note any hearings which are currently on calendar. At the onset of each divorce case, the court will assign a judge to hear the case and may even notice the first status conference at which the parties or their attorneys are required to appear. After you have reviewed all of the documents served by your spouse, you will want to determine how contentious your divorce will be. Depending on the circumstances, you may want to reach out to your spouse in an attempt to discover what issues you agree on and which issues you and disagree on. If you both are in agreement to proceed amicably, you can discuss mediation with a professional or informal conversation to resolve disputed issues.

Regardless of how you and your spouse agree to proceed with the divorce, you should talk to a professional (either your attorney or someone at the family law facilitator’s office) about the upcoming deadlines in your case and which forms you should be filing to protect your rights.
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Along with the New Year comes a plethora of New Year’s resolutions. Most people chose a resolution like exercising more, eating less or starting a new hobby. Some are able to stick to their resolution the whole year while other barely make it through the first of the year. For divorced individuals, there are a handful of resolutions that could put you on the right track for the upcoming year if you can resolve to stick to it throughout the year. These resolutions focus on improving your post-divorce relationships with your ex-spouse, your children and yourself.

Whether you just wrapped up your divorce or you have been divorced for quite some time, there is always room for improvement in the following areas.

1. Attempt to Communicate Better with Your Ex-Spouse
Divorce is filled with a variety of emotions, typically emotions that include a whole lot of anger and resentment. After the divorce is finalized you might have a bitter taste in your mouth and want nothing to do with you ex-spouse. However, if you have kids, chances are you aren’t quite done seeing or speaking with your ex. Do yourself a favor and make a resolution to work on communicating better with your ex-spouse. Simply avoiding the snarky emails to your ex can put you in a step in the right direction. And if you’re up to it, perhaps you could try going to lunch with your ex-spouse. This will give you an opportunity to catch up on the children’s activities and exchange information. Better communication will inevitably lead to better co-parenting.2. Put your Attention on Your Kids, Not your Ex-Spouse
Chances are you have spent a whole lot of time thinking about your ex-spouse…thoughts about what you could have done to make it work or thoughts about how upset you still are with him/her. Well it’s a new year and that means its time to shift your focus to your kids! Whether they show it or not, your kids have gone through a lot of change as a result of your divorce. Putting more attention on your kids can help them adjust in the New Year.

3. Limit Sharing Your Private Life on Social Media
Although Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites offer you the perfect opportunity to just say what is on your mind and let the whole world know about it, resolve to stop “bashing” your ex-spouse through your status updates. Also, if your ex-spouse can still view your social media profiles think about putting a halt to posting intimate details of your new relationship. If there were unresolved feelings between the two of you, this will give your ex-spouse a chance to heal without stirring up more feelings of anger and resentment.
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