Articles Posted in Divorce and Remarriage

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Divorce is never ideal. Even in the most amicable of divorces, it is never the outcome that any couple dreams of on the day that they fall in love and decide to get married. However, as difficult as divorce might be, financially, emotionally, and otherwise, imagine the alternative. Imagine that you are stuck married to a spouse with whom you are miserable, just because the laws of your county make it that way.

This is exactly the case in the Philippines, the only country in the world (outside of the Vatican), where divorce is still illegal. There, couples may file for a legal separation, which would allow them to lead separate lives and split their property, but they remain legally married. If parties do become legally separated, they are not able to remarry later, and even worse, if they become engaged in a new relationship even after legal separation has been granted, they risk being criminally charged for committing adultery. Continue reading

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Much to our dismay, the couple once lovingly known by the public as “Bennifer,” a.k.a. Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, announced back in June of 2015 that they were going to get a divorce. This was just before the couple’s 10-year anniversary. They reportedly consulted with legal counsel, mediators, and business managers, and agreed that they wouldn’t file the actual divorce papers until after they mediated and resolved all of the issues surrounding custody and property division.

Now over a year since the divorce news broke, neither Jen nor Ben has actually taken the plunge and filed a divorce petition. While Ben has been fairly open about the fact that he never wanted to split from Jen, it finally sounds like the divorce is officially off the table. In their case, the couple is pretty lucky that they didn’t yet file their divorce paperwork. Although it is not difficult to have a divorce petition dismissed, they did not have to bother with the extra steps necessary in actually filing for divorce and then filing a request for a dismissal.

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“Will you marry me?” Once that special question is popped, generally it is followed up with that beautiful, but expensive diamond ring placed on her finger. So what happens to the ring when the wedding doesn’t happen?

Generally, once a gift is made in California it cannot be revoked. However, Civil Code § 1590 provides a specific rule for the gift of an engagement ring.

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Those who haven’t been too jaded by divorce may choose to re-marry again. Perhaps they now know what they are looking for (or certain characteristics they are trying to avoid) in a partner or they are simply in a difference stage of life and ready for another go at marriage. But after all of the time, money and emotions that many couples go through to get divorced, the last thing you would probably expect is for that couple to give their relationship another try after their divorce has already been finalized and they have been restored to single status.

Believe it or not, people change, circumstances change, and sometimes ex-spouses are actually able to rekindle their flame post-divorce. If you are thinking about remarrying your ex, then you not only need to proceed with caution, but you also need to become educated on how your reconciliation or re-marriage will affect your divorce decree. Reconciliation after the divorce judgment has been finalized and entered by the court may require the assistance of an experienced family law attorney.If you decide to re-marry your ex-husband, you may be surprised to know that not all of the provisions in your divorce decree are necessarily negated by your re-marriage. For example, many divorce judgments have a provision whereby the former spouse has waived the right to inherit from the other spouse. Remarriage to that same spouse does not void the divorce judgment, so a new estate plan will need to be considered. Spousal support is another tricky issue with regard to remarriage after a divorce judgment. If the divorce judgment includes a provision for one spouse to pay the other spousal support, when the parties remarry the spousal support will be terminated. However, if the spousal support had already ceased before remarriage, and the parties remarry but divorce a second time, then the Court might only take into consideration the length of the second marriage, rather than the combination of the first and second marriages to the same person. As discussed in my blog entitled “Reconciling after Filing for Divorce but Before Divorce is Finalized,” the division of your assets and calculation of support may be significantly affected by filing for divorce a second time after reconciliation or re-marriage to the same person.

It would behoove you to consult with an experienced San Diego divorce attorney before you re-marry your ex-spouse and determine exactly which provisions of your divorce decree will survive your re-marriage. Hopefully the second time is a charm and your reconciliation is not a temporary fix. But in any case, if you have taken steps towards protecting yourself, your family and your finances, you will be better off.
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At some point during your divorce you will inevitably be feeling emotionally drained. You may feel like the only person in the world going through your type of situation or you may wonder if there is hope for you to someday remarry again. Here are some fun facts regarding world record holders for marriage and divorce to help lighten your mood for those difficult times during a divorce.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records:

Highest Divorce Rate:
The Maldives is the country with the highest divorce rate in the world. The Maldives has 10.97 divorces per 1,000 inhabitants per year. The Unites States is third in line, with 4.34 divorces per 1,000 inhabitants. So even when you feel like the only one going through a difficult time, think of all the other people going through a divorce right alongside you!

Hollywood Stars to Marry the Most Amount of Times:
We are constantly hearing the latest gossip about celebrity marriage and divorces. Well, Lana Turner, Mickey Rooney, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Elizabeth Taylor and Georgia Holt, have surely had plenty of attention as they have each been married eight times. So even if you’re going through your second or third divorce, just remember that some people have gone through seven divorces!Oldest Person to Get Divorced:
Harry Bidwell of the United Kingdom is the oldest known divorcee. He divorced his 65 year old wife on November 21, 1980 at the age of 101. Just imagine trying to handle all of the divorce paperwork at age 101, seems a bit daunting. Bidwell is proof that you’re never too old to get divorced.

Oldest Couple to Get Married:
In February 2002, Francois Fernandez and Madeleine Francineau exchanged marriage vows in France at the age of 96 years 290 days and 94 years 201 days, respectively. Even if your dating life seems bleak during or after a divorce, remember that there is still hope of finding a mate as you get older.

Most Marriage Vow Renewals by the Same Couple:
Apparently one wedding wasn’t enough for US couple Lauren Lubeck Blair and David E. Hough Blair, who as of November 2011 have renewed their marriage vows 101 times since they first got married in 1984. Additionally, all of those wedding ceremonies have been in separate locations. Oddly enough, the first time that David proposed Lauren said no!

Couple to be Married the Longest:
If you’re thinking about getting married again after your divorce maybe you should get some advice from Herbert Fisher and Zelmyra Fisher who, as of February 2011, were married for over 86 years.
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TMZ reports that actor Jeremy London managed to finalize his divorce from Melissa Cunningham, get married to Juliet Reeves and become a new father to son Wyatt all in the span of one week! That sure is a lot of change for one person. With all that change, I wonder if he contemplated how his new marriage might affect the terms of his recent divorce.

It is very common for people to get remarried after a divorce. Usually the new marriage doesn’t happen quite as quickly as London’s did. Nonetheless, before getting remarried, it is important to seriously consider how your remarriage can affect many of the benefits that you may still be receiving as the result of a previous divorce. One specific consideration is the possibility of discontinuation of spousal support.

Spousal support, for instance, will cease when the partner who is receiving the support remarries, unless the parties have agreed in writing otherwise (California Family Code Section 4337). If you settled your divorce, your agreement should include a provision to this effect. However, some agreements may specifically state that spousal support will continue to be paid regardless of whether the supported spouse gets remarried. Or an agreement may provide for a lump sum support payment or transfer of property in lieu of support, in which case the supported spouse’s remarriage will not affect the spousal support agreement. If you are contemplating remarriage, it is important to review the terms of your divorce agreement and to be aware of the fact that there is a good chance that as soon as you get remarried, you will stop getting that monthly support check in the mail from your previous spouse.If you are the payor of spousal support and you are the one who remarries, then your obligation to pay spousal support to your first spouse will not cease. However, re-marriage after a divorce will still have a significant impact on the person who was the bread-winner in the first marriage (i.e. typically the one paying support). Not only is that person contributing to the finances of the former household, but he/she is now also financially contributing to the new household. This may pose some issues with your new spouse who might resent the fact that a portion of your money is going to your ex-spouse instead of your new family.
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If you have not started dating during the divorce process, it is a good idea to remain single through the final stages of divorce (within reason). A lot of the major kinks get worked out and all of your paperwork gets finalized at the end of the divorce process. Depending on the amicability of your divorce, if your soon-to-be ex-wife finds out that you are dating someone new, it may derail the entire settlement/closure of your case. On the other hand, if your divorce is extremely contentious and has been dragged out for years, it may be more reasonable for you to begin dating prior to the end of the case. The most important thing is to gauge the situation and to take into consideration how your new love life could impact you financially and emotionally in your divorce.

Once you are officially single, it is important to have clear boundaries with your ex-wife. Are you calling her weekly “just to catch up”? Do you still have personal belongings in her home? Although it is nice to remain friendly with your former spouse (especially if you have children together), it’s probably not a good idea to stay so close. Frequent communication with your ex-wife and trips to her house might create confusion for the both of you during a difficult time. Men should definitely not rush into new relationships just because they are divorced, but it is also healthy to fully separate from a former spouse. Try to avoid pressure from friends and family to “get back out there” if you are not ready. A stereotype persists that men are less emotionally damaged from divorce and that all divorced men are excited to start dating groups of new women. However, if you are not ready for that it could backfire for you creating even more unnecessary drama in your life.When you decide it is a good time to start dating again, it may be a good idea to make some changes to your physical appearance. If you have a gym membership, start going more often. If not, get a membership and start working out on a regular basis. Take better care of your body by eating healthier foods. Show off your new physique with some new clothes. These physical changes will boost your confidence (especially around women) and help improve your overall attitude and mood. When you feel better about your appearance then you can start building a more positive self-image. Overall divorce can be a stressful, exhausting, and devastating process. However, the best way to get past your divorce is to learn from your mistakes, focus on the good memories, and start a new future.
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Relocation throughout the United States is generally a simple process; therefore, it is not uncommon for one or both parties to move to a different state after a divorce. In such cases, parents are faced with a jurisdictional dilemma with regard to their custody and visitation issues. Frequently as children get older their needs and schedules change significantly. In some cases the parents are able to adapt to new situations and reach agreements to modify outdated custody and visitation orders. However, in more high conflict cases, court intervention is necessary – especially if the parents no longer reside in the same state.

The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (“UCCJEA”) is the governing law for determining whether a court can exercise jurisdiction over a custody and visitation matter. Under the UCCJEA, a California court may not modify another state’s custody order unless (1) the California court has jurisdiction to make an initial custody determination AND either (2) the court of the other state determines that it no longer has exclusive, continuing jurisdiction OR (3) a California court or a court of the other state determines that the child, the child’s parents and any person acting as a parent do not presently reside in the other state.California has jurisdiction to make an initial custody determination if California is the home state of the child on the date of the commencement of the proceeding. The “home state” is defined as the state in which a child lived with a parent for at least six consecutive months immediately before the commencement of a child custody proceeding. Therefore, unless California is currently the home state of the child, it will not proceed with the rest of the analysis to consider whether it can modify another state’s order.

Once California has determined it is the home state of a child, the parties must meet item two or item three discussed above. If the court that made the initial child custody determination determines that it no longer has exclusive, continuing jurisdiction because the child and one parent fail to have a significant connection with the state and substantial evidence concerning the child’s care, protection, training and personal relationships is no longer available in that state, California may modify another state’s order. In addition, if none of the parties continue to reside in the state which made the initial custody order, California may modify an out-of-state custody order as long as all of the proper procedures have been followed.
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Spousal support is an aspect of family law that divorce attorneys frequently answer questions about. In states such as Massachusetts and Florida, second wives are lobbying for spousal support legislation reform regarding “permanent” spousal support (commonly referred to as “alimony”). To clarify, in California, “permanent” spousal support is not a guarantee of a lifetime of support. However, it is only a spousal support award made at the conclusion of a divorce case. In contrast, “temporary” (or pendente lite) support is a spousal support award made during the pendency of the proceedings.

Because of the extremely broad and generous spousal support statutes, many second wives are reaching into their own pockets to contribute to the support of their husband’s first wife. The second wives argue that they too have been sentenced to a lifetime of spousal support payments which hinder their ability to plan for retirement, prevent them from assisting their children and grandchildren financially, and generally reduce their overall standard of living.

Learn more about marital standard of living

In many states, the family code and court rulings permit the Court to consider the income or assets of a second spouse where the income of such spouse contributes to the support of the household, giving the paying spouse more of his own income with which to satisfy spousal support obligations. Under California Family Code § 4323, family courts are prohibited from considering the income of the supporting spouse’s subsequent spouse when determining or modifying spousal support. Despite this blanket prohibition, cases which held that a new spouse’s income may be considered to the extent that the income reduces the paying spouse’s living expenses (and thus increased the ability to pay) may still be viable. It seems even California has a giant loophole which grants Courts discretion to consider income of new spouses when considering a divorce attorney’s request for spousal support determinations or modifications for their client.

With second wives demanding reform, legislators are in a difficult position as they will be balancing the interest of the first wife and her right to support against public policies such as a supported spouse’s obligation to become self supporting and the supporting spouse’s right to move forward after divorce. The Second Wives Club has a few suggestions which it feels fairly addresses the rights of all parties.

Read more about divorce and alimony reform

The reformers are pushing for durational spousal support awards which are sufficient to permit the supported spouse to gain the education, training, or experience necessary to become self-supporting. The duration of the spousal support will be contingent on the length of the marriage, the age of the supported spouse and the supported spouse’s ability to become employed. Upon the date set for payments to end, the supporting spouse’s obligation to pay spousal support will end regardless of whether supported spouse has become gainfully employed. Although the Second Wives Club is lobbying strong in various states, divorce attorneys feel that California will likely not experience significant reform in this area any time soon.

www.BickfordLaw.com


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Is it possible to go after my ex-husband’s new wife’s income in order to increase his child support obligation? This question probably comes across a divorcée’s mind more often than not. Unfortunately, if your ex-husband remarries, you will most likely be unsuccessful in pursuing his new wife’s income as family law courts have proven to be quite reluctant to include a new spouse’s income for purposes of calculating child support. The court’s logic behind this is that the payment of child support should be the parent’s obligation rather than that of the new spouse.

Prior to 1994, courts had authority and discretion to consider a subsequent spouse’s income when setting a child support award. However, as San Diego divorce attorneys know, when an ex-spouse remarries, child support adjustments are now governed by Family Code Section 4057.5. This statute prohibits courts from considering a subsequent spouse’s income unless the exclusion of the subsequent spouse’s income would cause the child to suffer extreme and severe hardship. In other words, if you are the parent seeking to modify the child support order after your ex-husband has remarried, then you should attempt to prove that the child would suffer an extreme and severe hardship if the earnings of your ex-husband’s new wife were excluded in considering an award for child support. Thus, courts look exclusively to the needs of the child.Pursuant to Family Code Section 4057.5 (b), an extraordinary situation that might constitute an “extreme and severe hardship” is where the ex-spouse voluntarily or intentionally quits working or intentionally remains unemployed or underemployed and relies on his subsequent spouse’s income. Such a situation would warrant consideration of all of the community property of ex-husband and his subsequent spouse in modifying the ex-husband’s child support obligation.

Read more about child and spousal support

As an aside, seeking to modify child support by attempting to include the subsequent spouse’s income, might in fact backfire and actually reduce the child support award instead. For instance, if your ex-husband remarries and his new wife makes a considerable amount of money, then he will likely be in a higher tax bracket (if married filing jointly), thereby reducing the amount of his disposable income. In turn, this will then likely reduce the amount of child support that your ex-husband has to pay. However, it is likely that such a decrease would only be a minimal amount each month, depending on how much his subsequent spouse makes. Nevertheless, the subsequent spouse’s income certainly won’t increase your husband’s child support obligation unless the “extreme and severe hardship” exception is met.
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