Articles Posted in Custody and Visitation

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Charlie Sheen, a regular news-maker in California family law, has four children from his two prior marriages. Two twin boys with ex-wife Brooke Mueller and two girls with ex-wife Denise Richards. After all the dust settled from his two divorces, Sheen’s twin boys ended up in the custody of Denise Richards. This unusual custody arrangement worked well for all of the parties. Richards was happy to care for Mueller and Sheen’s children because it gave her girls a chance to grow up with their half siblings. Mueller agreed to the arrangement because she has been struggling with addiction and is unable to properly care for the twins. Recently Mueller changed her mind about the current custody arrangement and her family lawyers sought a modification from the family court.

On Wednesday May 15th, Mueller, Sheen and Richards appeared before a family court judge to litigate Mueller’s request to modify custody. Mueller proposed the children be removed from Richards’s custody and placed with her brother. When Richards and her family lawyers opposed the request, Mueller accused her of caring for the children for her own financial benefit. If Mueller or her brother had custody of the twins, Mueller would be entitled to $55,000 per month in child support from Sheen. According to her declaration signed under penalty of perjury, Richards refused any money from Sheen to support the twins. She also stated that she did not want any money in the future to help her care for the boys. In light of this evidence, Mueller’s argument lost all of its bite and the judge flatly refused her request.

In any California custody case the paramount concern for the Court is the best interest of the child. As a stable lifestyle is usually in the child’s best interest, family court judges will always carefully consider any request to uproot young children. Mueller and her attorneys requested her four-year-old twins be removed from their home where they live with their siblings and be placed in the custody of a different caretaker. This traumatic change would likely take a great emotional toll on the children. Unless there is good cause to do so, judges will make an effort not to uproot children from a stable environment.

Although it is not realistic to expect all parents to come to an agreement regarding custody and visitation, it is typically in the best interest of the children if the parents can work together to come up with a mutually beneficial solution to their custody disputes. Throughout San Diego there are plenty of private and public custody mediators available to parents who need help cooperating for the benefit of their children.
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Sharing Custody of Children During Religious Holidays

As previously blogged about in “Part I: Religion and Child Custody,” a common issue in divorce revolves around which religion a child will follow after parents separate. Another common issue recognized by divorce attorneys is how to fairly share custody of children during religious holidays. The recent passing of the Easter holiday likely posed a special concern for divorcing parents with children. In our previous post, we discussed parents with sole legal custody.

Read more about custody and divorce in Del MarJoint legal custody presents divorce attorneys with unique issues. If both parents share joint legal custody, and one parent objects to the other parent’s decisions regarding the child’s religion, a judge will have to determine whether the child can be raised as a Catholic, Buddhist, Jewish, etc. The courts will generally first consider the religion that the child was raised in while the parents were still married and order that the child continue to be raised in that same religion.

Since the right to raise a child as the parent sees fit and the right to freedom of religion are both protected by the Constitution, courts must be careful not to infringe on these constitutional rights while still protecting the best interests of the child.

Joint physical custody means that both parents share in the right to spend time with the child or children. Despite custody agreements, problems always seem to arise with regards to holidays, especially when each parent has his/her own religious beliefs and traditions. Holidays like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are usually easy to compromise, because they have alternative days to give each parent equivalent time. However, the same cannot be said for religious holidays such as Easter. Easter does not have an alternative celebration date. Divorce lawyers must consider their client’s faiths when providing legal advice.

In order to deal with this problem, many divorce attorneys will advise their clients to agree to alternate custody between holidays each year, such as Easter and Thanksgiving. However, for some parents who are particularly religious or have long-lived family traditions, they do not consider the Easter holiday to be equivalent to the Thanksgiving holiday. Thus, shared custody on holidays needs to be determined well ahead of time and with the children’s best interests in mind.

Children With Parents of Different Faiths

Another problem arises where divorcing parents are of differing faiths. For example, where one parent is Christian and the other is Jewish, the Easter and Passover holidays usually pose a concern regarding child custody because the holidays often fall near each other on a calendar. Sometime these two holidays will even occur on the very same day. Therefore, it is extremely important that these situations are discussed early on, and that divorce lawyers draft custody agreements that spell-out exactly what will happen with regards to custody to the greatest extent possible.

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Which Religion do Children Follow when Parents of Different Faiths Divorce?

With the recent passing of Easter, a Christian holiday, and Pesach (Passover), a Jewish holiday, parents of different faiths may be left wondering which holiday their child will celebrate after a divorce. Because divorcing parents don’t always agree on whose religion the children will follow after divorce, the Court is often left to make a determination as to which religion the children will practice, if any.The Fourteenth Amendment substantive due process clause grants parents a liberty interest in directing their child’s religious upbringing. Therefore, Courts must protect each parent’s Constitutional right to raise the child as that parent sees fit (as long as the welfare of the child is not endangered). However, when parents divorce, the Courts are often left to decide which parent’s constitutional right will prevail in determining the religion of their child. Family law attorneys take a number of factors into consideration when advising clients about their options in regards to their children’s religious upbringing.

Child Decides

Often times the Court will simply allow the child to decide which religion, if any, to follow because it is merely an exercise of the child’s First Amendment right to freedom of religion. Unfortunately for divorce lawyers, no black letter law exists regarding what age a child must be to decide his or her own religion. However, courts generally consider children over 12 to be able to make decisions about their religious preferences.

By allowing the child to determine his/her own religious preference, the courts are not encroaching upon the parents’ Constitutional rights. The parents may continue to practice the religion of their choice, and they have already had the opportunity to exercise their Fourteenth Amendment substantive due process liberty interest to direct their child’s upbringing.

Parent With Sole Legal Custody

When a child is not deemed fit to decide for himself/herself, divorce attorneys note that the court will look to which parent has been awarded legal custody. As discussed in previous blogs, legal custody gives a parent the right to make decisions regarding a child’s health, education, welfare and even religious decisions. If a parent has been awarded sole legal custody of the child, then that parent alone can make all the decisions regarding the child’s religious preference and activities without getting the consent of the other parent or an order from the court.

Parents with Joint Legal Custody

Tomorrow, in “Part II: Religion and Child Custody”, we will discuss the issues presented to divorce attorneys by parents who share joint legal custody of their children. Continue reading

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Former MLB and NFL legend, Deion Sanders, is use to battling to the top. But this time, his three children were on the line. As we have previously blogged, Sanders filed for divorce in 2011. Luckily for Sanders, he came out on top again when a Texas judge recently awarded him full custody of his 9 year old daughter. Sanders had also previously been awarded full custody of his two sons, 11 and 13, but had only been given joint custody of his daughter with estranged wife, Pilar. This leaves us to wonder, what exactly does Sanders’ “full custody” award entail? As divorce attorneys know, in California, two types of custody exist: “legal” and “physical”. Each type of child custody may be awarded solely to one parent or shared jointly between divorcing parents.

Legal Custody:

Legal custody refers to a parent’s right to make decisions about the child’s health, welfare and education. If a parent is awarded “sole legal custody” by the court, then he/she is the only one who has the right to make such decisions and may do so without consulting with the other parent. However, when divorcing parents are awarded “joint legal custody,” they both have the right to make decisions about the child’s health, welfare, and education.

Since Sanders has been awarded sole legal custody of all three children, he now has full range to make decisions about where the kids will go to school, whether they should receive medical care and whether they will engage in religious activities, without consulting with Pilar.

Read more about the divorce process in San Diego

Physical Custody:

Physical custody, on the other hand, refers to where the child lives after divorce. The parent who has physical custody is the one who has the right to have the child physically with them and in their home. Physical custody, like legal custody, can be awarded solely to one parent or shared jointly. When a divorce lawyer makes an argument for “Sole physical custody,” this means that the child will reside with only one parent. That parent is typically referred to by attorneys and the court as the “custodial” or “residential” parent. Divorce lawyers and judges refer to the other parent as the “non-custodial” or “non-residential” parent. It is important to note that the court can still order visitation time for the non-custodial parent.


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“Joint physical custody” means that a child’s time is divided equally, or close to equally, between both parents. Family lawyers in San Diego will draft such custody orders so that each parent has separate but significant periods of physical custody. Typically, parents share joint legal custody of their children. Divorce attorneys will argue for sole legal custody if one parent is deemed unfit, the parents are completely unable to make decisions together, or it would be in the child’s best interest to have sole legal custody with one parent. For Sanders, winning the child custody battle with Pilar now means that all three kids will be living with dad!
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Former Philadelphia 76er Allen Iverson’s divorce has been finalized. The resolution came after the second divorce filing by Iverson’s wife, the first having been filed 15 months prior and then withdrawn according to TMZ.

Standing a mere 6 feet (relatively speaking, of course) Iverson was the number one draft pick of the NBA’s Philadelphia 76ers in 1996. He went on to be named NBA Rookie of the Year for the 1996-1997 basketball season. He continued his career with eleven NBA All-Star nods, and won the All-Star MVP award in 2001. Iverson is father to five children.

According to LA Times.com, in the divorce decree the judge awarded Iverson’s wife legal and physical custody of the parties’ five children. In doing so, the court did not have kind words to say about Iverson. According to the article, the court stated about Iverson: “he does not know how to manage the children; has little interest in learning to manage the children and has actually, at times, been a hindrance to their spiritual and emotional growth and development.”

Iverson will have some visitation with his children, provided he complies with certain conditions imposed by the court. Notably, one condition is that he is not allowed to consume any alcohol for the next 18 months, nor consume alcohol within 24 hours of visiting with his children and, logically, during the visits. Reportedly, he is also required to obtain therapy and attend AA for the next year. According to the LA Times article, the divorce decree states that Iverson has “an obvious and serious alcohol problem, which has caused him to do inappropriate things in the presence of the children while impaired”, things such as, the article reports, leaving the children unsupervised.

While Iverson’s divorce is in Atlanta, Georgia, here in San Diego, divorcing parents are similarly faced with issues of alcohol abuse and its implications on custody and visitation issues in the San Diego Superior Court. To address such issues, the California Family Code includes specific provisions.

Prior to making an order for joint physical custody, which means that each of the parents will have significant periods of physical custody, the San Diego family court is required to consider the habitual use of drugs or alcohol by one or both of the parents. Specifically, Family Code §3011 provides: “In making a determination of the best interest of the child in a proceeding…the court shall, among any other factors it finds relevant, consider all of the following: (d) The habitual or continual illegal use of controlled substances or habitual or continual abuse of alcohol by either parent…”

What happens in the case where one parent alleges habitual or continual use of alcohol by the other parent, but the parent facing those allegations denies them? Family Code section 3011 continues: “Before considering these allegations, the court may first require independent corroboration, including, but not limited to written reports from law enforcement agencies, courts, probation departments, social welfare agencies, medical facilities, rehabilitation facilities, or other public agencies or nonprofit organizations providing drug and alcohol abuse services…”

In some cases, there may be a document which can easily corroborate the allegations; in others, it may be a bit more difficult. If it can otherwise be shown by a preponderance of the evidence that there is habitual or continual abuse of alcohol by a parent, a judge may order that parent to undergo testing for the use of alcohol. If such testing is ordered, it must be done by the least intrusive means. Further, the parent against whom the allegations are made (and thus who is ordered to submit to the test) has a right to a hearing to challenge the results. A positive test cannot alone be the determinative factor in a custody and visitation ruling; the court is still required to balance all factors to determine the best interests of the children.
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www.dailymail.co.uk recently published an article with the headline “Divorce after a child turns seven makes them more likely to perform badly at school.” The article cites a study conducted by the Childhood Wellbeing Research Centre that was published by the Department for Education. The government-funded study found that children whose parents divorced after the child had turned seven are more likely to perform poorly and have behavioral problems. The article opined that the lesser impact on children under the age of seven is likely because divorce may have a lesser effect on younger children as they cannot fully understand the implications.Divorce was one of the 40 factors looked at by the study for its effects on a child’s scholastic achievement and behavior. Among the other factors looked at were number of siblings, number of hours spent in front of the television, the way in which rules are enforced in a household, grandparent involvement and general parenting skills, to name a few. The study projected that the effects on children at the age of seven are likely to continue into the child’s teen years and adulthood. The study highlighted the importance of family separation, conflict and divorce on the development of children.

Of course, divorce is in some cases unavoidable. In those cases where divorce must occur, what can San Diego parents do to minimize the conflict and the effect on their children?

One tool parents can utilize is a well thought out parenting plan. When an issue of custody and visitation is brought before the court in San Diego, the parents are required to participate in custody mediation. They can do so either at Family Court Services, which is a free program run by the San Diego Superior Court, or they can opt for private mediation at their own expense. The stated purpose of this custody mediation is to reduce the conflict which may exist between the parties and to develop a custody and time-sharing agreement which is in the best interests of the children. It is not uncommon, however, that San Diego parents are unable to reach an agreement through mediation. In that case, the mediator issues a report and recommendation which is then considered by the court in making its ruling of the custody and/or visitation issue. Frequently, in these recommendations we as divorce attorneys see language included in the proposed parenting plan that is geared towards reducing conflict between the parents. Some such provisions which immediately come to mind are:

“Neither parent shall make negative statements about the other in the presence of or hearing of the children or question the children about the other parent.”

“The parents shall communicate directly with each other in matters concerning the children and shall not use the children as a messenger between them.”

“The children shall not be exposed to court papers or disputes between the parents, and each parent shall make every possible effort to ensure that other people comply with this order.”

Such language may be included in a parenting plan at the recommendation of the mediator, but can also simply be included by agreement between the parties.

Another tool for parents is the resource Kids Turn. Kids’ Turn is a San Diego non-profit organization dedicated to working with the entire family to achieve an amicable and healthy divorce.

Read more about Kids’ Turn or visit their website.

The study published by the Department of Education did qualify its results by stating that “Some children do relatively well despite unpromising circumstances and some do relatively poor despite having a good start.” It’s nonetheless helpful for San Diego parents to be aware of how a divorce might impact their children and to take steps that may be appropriate to mitigate any negative impact there may be.
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As we have previously blogged, Bethenny Frankel, former star of The Real Housewives of New York, and founder of Skinnygirl Cocktails, recently filed for divorce from husband, Jason Hoppy. The parties have a daughter, age 2.

Reportedly, the parties’ separated on December 23, 2012 and Frankel filed for divorce just shortly thereafter (LA Times) It appears from Frankel’s Petition that she is requesting primary physical custody of the parties’ daughter and child support payable by Hoppy, in addition to life insurance, exclusive occupancy of their home and medical, dental, vision and orthodontic care for her and the child. Sources estimate Frankel is worth at least $25 million. This begs the question: Is child support appropriate in cases where the custodial parent is an extraordinarily higher earner?

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We have previously blogged about different ways technology can be used to gain an advantage or gather evidence in a dissolution proceeding. However, ex-spouses are now learning how to use the advances in technology to foster cooperation and harmony post-separation. Many divorcing couples would prefer to sever the ties between them completely after their divorce is final. This goal is unattainable for ex-spouses who will continue to share custody of minor children for years after separation. The new trend called “joint custody – at a distance” encourages splitting couples to communicate electronically rather than during “in person” exchanges in order to reduce the emotional tension during a “drop off” or “pick up”.Many parents have found that they fight and argue less in front of their children if they are able to express their emotions through other outlets. E-mail communication, online calendars and a number of other online resources are all available to conflicting parties who share children. By sharing an online calendar parents can easily coordinate a child-sharing schedule. All of the child’s activities and plans are readily available to view and change without any need for in-person or telephonic communication between the parents.

Our Family Wizard is a common solution for parents in conflict. A judge may order parties to use Our Family Wizard, a program which tracks all communication, expenses, and even sends notices to the parties regarding their obligations. Because the communication between parents can be supervised by the judge and attorneys involved in the case, the parties are incentivized to speak civilly to each other. This form of communication can take away the aggravation and emotional side of child-sharing and ease the tension and stress for the children involved. The program can be purchased for approximately $100 per year.

Another form of technology frequently appearing in custody orders is Skype. Skype is a free program that allows two or more people to have an online video conversation. In cases where both parties cannot easily see a child frequently, the court may order “Skype visitation”. During a Skype visit, a parent can have a video conversation with the child. Skype also permits conversations to be recorded and can ensure that the visiting parent is getting enough video time with the child. Additionally, a parent may be ordered to purchase a cell phone for the child in order to avoid any telephonic communication between the parties. This way, if a parent wishes to speak to his or her child during the child’s scheduled time with the other parent, he or she can reach the child directly.

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As we have previously blogged, Halle Berry is entrenched in a bitter custody battle with Gabriel Aubry. Berry and Aubry separated in 2010 and reached a custody agreement in 2011; however, the former couple’s agreement did not suit Berry after she got engaged to Oliver Martinez. Berry intends to relocate to France with her new fiancé, Oliver Martinez, but requested the court’s permission to bring her daughter along first. On Friday November 10th, the judge denied Berry’s request to allow her daughter, Nahla, to move to France.

In determining whether to grant or deny a parent’s request to move away with a child, the court must assume that the requesting parent will move regardless of the court’s ruling. Although it is not generally reality, this presumption requires the court to consider if it would be in the child’s best interest to maintain the same lifestyle or live further away from the moving parent. It is generally in a child’s best interest to remain in the same neighborhood, attend the same school, interact with the same friends, and maintain as much stability as possible. This is because schedules and routines can help a child adjust to the separation of his or her parents. However, move-away cases present a more complicated scenario. The court must consider two alternatives: either the child will be uprooted from his or her current life or the child will remain in the same location without one of his or her parents.

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