Things to Consider Before Filing for Divorce
A divorce is a major decision that will change many things about your life. There should be no shame in asking for and filing for a divorce, but it is worthwhile to ensure that a divorce is truly the next step that you want to take. Discussing divorce with your spouse before you are fully convinced it is the right step can cause irreparable harm to your marriage and drive it to divorce regardless. There are many things to consider before bringing up the discussion with your spouse or filing the papers.
Your Reasons for Wanting a Divorce
The first question to ask yourself is why you have considered divorce. You must be able to answer this question thoroughly and honestly. Anger, frustration, a desire for control, or a desire to be treated better are all reasons someone may be considering a divorce.
Identify Your Feelings Toward Your Spouse
Irritation and annoyance can alter the feelings that you have for your spouse, especially if they have betrayed your trust or engaged in poor behavior. As you are contemplating whether to proceed with a divorce, you need to determine in detail how you feel about your spouse, as well as how and why those feelings may have changed.
Effective Communication With Your Spouse
If you are considering divorce, then you likely have particular grievances about your partner’s actions. If you have not effectively communicated these concerns or issues to your partner, then they have not been afforded the opportunity to change their behavior to better meet your emotional or physical needs. They cannot change their negative behavior if they are unaware that there are issues causing you distress. Although the issues may seem obvious to you, it is unfair to assume that the other person is already aware of your stress and unhappiness.
Identify Any Potential Chances to Resolve Issues
Are there actions your partner can take to correct, or at least improve, the situation? Regardless of your reasons for considering a divorce, be it an isolated incident or an accumulation of many factors, it is important to determine if there is a means to fix the issues. Talk openly and honestly with your partner to see if they are willing to work with you on these problems. You may also want to consider a legal separation, which can give you space to decide whether you wish to move forward with a divorce.
Marriage Stage of Development
Every relationship will go through certain stages as it matures and progresses. Is the unhappiness that you are experiencing tied to a typical crisis period? There are higher rates of divorce in the first two years of marriage as the couple settles into the marriage and learns each other’s habits. There is another high-risk period during the fifth to eighth years of marriage, as the marriage becomes routine and needs may stop being met.
Looking at the Scenario From All Angles
When you are hurt and your emotions are running high, it may be hard to take a step back and evaluate the situation from all sides. When you begin contemplating the potential end of your relationship, you may want to consider the entirety of your marriage. It may become harder to see the positive history of your relationship as the current negative emotions become overwhelming.
Current Happiness Versus Future Happiness
How do you believe your current level of happiness will compare to your potential happiness if you follow through with the divorce? While your partner’s flaws may irritate and annoy you, do you believe that you will be happier if they are no longer your spouse? You must evaluate how you will feel if your spouse is no longer in your life.
FAQs
Q: How Will Divorce Change Your Life?
A: A divorce will change almost all aspects of your life. Your home may change, as may your financial situation. If you have children, their lives will also change as their parent’s relationship changes. Your profession may change, especially if you were a stay-at-home parent. You may also be starting over with very little credit, depending on what your financial situation looked like with your spouse.
Q: Do I Need to Retain a Divorce Lawyer?
A: A knowledgeable divorce lawyer can be an immeasurable source of information that will help walk you through the divorce process. Their experience can help reduce the likelihood of making any mistakes, as well as ensure that you leave your marriage with all the property and assets that you are entitled to. It would be wise to speak with an attorney for your divorce, especially if your marriage has high-value assets or any complicating factors.
Q: What Are Common Reasons for Marriage Failure?
A: One of the most frequently cited reasons for a marriage’s end is financial issues. Any financial issues can put immense strain on a relationship and cause stress that cannot be recovered from. Another common cause of divorce is a change of plans. As people age, their wants and needs may change, and their spouses’ needs may no longer be compatible with their new goals.
Q: What Are Some Factors That Contribute to a Higher Divorce Rate?
A: A significant number of marriages will end in divorce, but there are some factors that make divorce more likely. These include marrying while young, early pregnancy, domestic abuse, unmet sexual needs, and emotional effects from previous trauma. These factors do not automatically indicate that a marriage will fail, but it may be worthwhile to get ahead of potential issues before they become a problem.
Speaking With an Attorney
Considering a divorce typically requires many hours of thought and deliberation, as it will change almost every aspect of your life. As you consider this choice, it can be helpful to speak with an experienced divorce lawyer. The attorneys at Bickford Blado & Botros cannot make the choice to remain in your marriage or seek a divorce, but they can provide you with valuable information that can help you make the choice.
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